Witsec
by Zosie
Summary: Undercover agent 'Isabella Swan' meets a slight complication the night before beginning her assignment as Junior in Forks High School. Who knew the man she hooked up with was someone so definitely out of bounds.
1. Chapter 1

Witsec

Chapter 1

BPOV

"I'm what? A Junior in High School? A seventeen year old student? Again? "I said in surprise as Marcus, my Boss handed me a familiar prop; a Britney-esque schoolgirl uniform. This time in shades of burgundy and moss green. My closet was starting to look like a second hand shop for school uniforms.

I had been there and done this role so many times already. I thought we had moved on. It was my job to become other people but how much longer could I pull off being seventeen now I was twenty five years old. During my last two assignments I'd gotten to be an adult, and I thought we were finally moving on. I could remember myself at seventeen but things had changed quite a bit in the last eight years. Girls had changed. The rules had changed, mainly because sometimes it seemed like nowadays there weren't any rules at all.

And to me, my face and body no longer managed to fool the eye, and appear seventeen.

"Nobody will believe it. any more. Seventeen has come and gone too long ago."

"Of course they will. Here's your usual research material; the latest copy of Rolling Stone magazine, and a playlist of all the current Top Twenty hits. Listen to them until you know the lyrics by heart. Choose a boy band member to idolise and research him.

And here's your other homework book, Movie News. There are a few Young Adult sagas you need to catch up with."

"What's my name this time?" I asked almost fearfully. Marcus had such a twisted sense of humour. I'd spent seven months undercover once with the name Tawny Tinsel. Guess where he got that from? He has never admitted it but I'm pretty sure it came straight from a porn movie.

"Well, this time you are taking over the life of an actual person. Isabella Marie Swan. She lives overseas with her Mom and hasn't been back to her father's house since she was four years old. Her father lost touch with her completely about ten years ago. You are the right height she would be now, estimated on her height as a two year old, and no matter what you think, you can still pass for the seventeen she really is by now."

I gave up. Seventeen it is. Again.

Time to bite the bullet and immerse myself into the role.

"Isabella."

I tried the name out loud.

It was a little fancy for my taste but whatever. I guess if I got used to being called Tawny I can pretty much cope with anything.

"Now remember. It's your job to **observe and report**.

Nothing more.

We are not getting this case tossed out because of some accusation of entrapment.

If these teachers are dealing dope to the students, eventually they will offer it to you or to your group of friends, then all you need to do is report in.

We will take it from there.

When Riley turns up as a substitute teacher, treat him like all the actual teachers, and remember you have never met him before.

Maybe have a schoolgirl crush on him, that way if you let anything slip your friends will think you have some fantasy life in your silly little schoolgirl head and dismiss what you say.

And by the way...do not do anything reckless."

"Do I get to keep my gun?" I asked hopelessly. I feel naked without it. And every time I was seventeen he took my gun away.

"Sure. We really need you being arrested for going to school armed. Of course you don't get a gun.

So, here's your ticket. The plane will land in Seattle and you will be collected at SeaTac by your new Father, Charlie Swan. There will be a couple of hours on the road getting home so he will fill you in on any special childhood memories you may need then.

Be nice to him. He loved his daughter and is regretful that he lost track of her so he may be expecting you to act just like his little Isabella would now. Of course we have no clue how the real Isabella would act so let's assume he thinks she is an angel and would never do anything at all to embarrass him or bring shame on the Swan family name. No underage drinking, or smoking. It will be a good chance for you to let your liver have a rest. Understand?"

I rolled my eyes.

Rats.

While I'd been seventeen more times than I cared to remember, usually I got to be the bad girl. The rebel. I got to choose my own personality for each role. I got to be the girl I never was game to be when I was really a seventeen year old schoolgirl. But this time it was apparently different.

I had to act like a seventeen year old virgin Princess?

Fine.

I could actually do the whole virgin part, that came naturally, but seventeen? Again? Was I ever going to grow up or was I to be Peter Pan forever?

xxxx

Bree was my workmate and only confidente so sitting on the bar stool beside hers that night, I wailed about my life, as it had to be lived, for the next year.

"Seventeen yet again. God, I hated that age. Not a child, yet not an adult, and this time I have a Daddy to lay down the law and keep me in line. At least I won't have any trouble rebelling against him. I swear, if the man dares to ground me, I will shoot him."

"Calm down. Who knows? Charlie Swan might be hot. You have to live in his house so who is to know if you are sleeping in his bed? Maybe you will get to call him 'Daddy'," she giggled.

"Oh gross. Just imagine the gossip if someone caught us at it. Incest in Forks. It would be headline news for generations," I sighed.

"Got a photo?" Bree pushed and I pulled out the folder from my briefcase and extracted a couple of happy snaps of my dear 'Papa'.

"Whoa. Porn star moustache. Maybe not. He has kind of cute eyes though."

"You think?" I questioned, looking again. Of course, by now I had three vodka cranberries under my belt so even he was starting to look good. "I just hope to God my fictional brother isn't hot, because if he is..."

Bree laughed. "Yeah. Now I think about it, maybe it would be best if you kept the v card cashing outside the family. It would be a lot harder to act cool around your big bro if the two of you were fuckbuddies, especially in a town that small. What the heck are you going to do for fun?"

"Well, number one fun thing is get rid of this whole twenty five year old virgin status with the first Adonis I set eyes on, before I find myself being inappropriately lusting after my fellow students."

"You know if they are all seventeen, chances are you will be the only virgin among them," she retorted. "As usual."

"And that's why it can't be so. The hardest part of playing seventeen is that I have to talk like a modern day teen each time and the other girls almost always have had more bedroom experience than me. This time I am not faking it. I am so bad at faking it. I'm always shocked the other girls don't see straight through me and know I'm lying about my sexual exploits that I borrow straight from tv shows.

I have to have at least one lover under my belt before I register at Forks High. Anyway, this is as good a reason as any to take the bull by the horns and just do it," I reasoned. "I'm flying in a day early, so Charlie Swan will be picking me up at the airport but I won't actually be fresh off a plane like he thinks. I'm getting there Friday night,and scouting out a bar in Seattle to try my luck. I'll find myself a man and use his body all night long, then be sitting back at the airport like a good little High School student Saturday when he arrives. Marcus warned me Charlie will probably turn up in his police cruiser. How embarrassing. No wonder the real Isabella stays well away."

How come I am a virgin at twenty five?

Let's just say life has not been kind to me.

My parents are devoutly religious and drummed into me at a very young age that a girl's virginity was her most precious possession and once she 'gave it away' to someone, unless he proved to be her 'life partner', then she had squandered it foolishly and would regret it forever.

So for some reason I fought off the various wandering hands of the various boys I dated in my actual teens and by the time I hit my twenties, I found I had become somewhat picky.

Of course that meant I missed my main chance.

All of my girlfriends had lost their virginities in the throws of first love, with their High School sweethearts.

Mine had moved on quickly, frustrated because I refused to 'put out'.

Then when I was ready, it seemed like most decent twenty somethings were already in relationships. Snapped up young.

Most of the men I met were divorced, on their second round.

Men with baggage and ex wives and children to consider.

The single guys were players.

I'd had a few offers but as I had not found any of them even attractive, I'd passed.

I wanted my first time to be with someone I'd be happy to look back at and remember with a touch of fondness.

I wasn't desperate, not yet.

But I wasn't ready for anything heavy either.

My work precluded any chance of maintaining a real relationship, so I'd come to the conclusion that maybe I needed to just grab the first decent guy to help me out.

Not one guy had come along that seemed worthy of the honour.

For a few years I was proud of myself for not throwing myself at all comers but let's face it, it's just getting beyond ridiculous and just reading the title of that movie, The Forty Year Old Virgin, was enough to make me want to weep.

I have to do this.

I pretend to be all modern and cool and all the time I have kids I used to babysit who have cashed in their cards ahead of me.

I swear, first hottie in Seattle hits the jackpot.

xxxx

I sat at an entirely different bar stool Friday evening, eyeing off every unaccompanied male who walked in the door of the Seattle bar.

So far all the slightly hot ones had girls draped on their arms, and that sucked.

All but one, that is.

And that one happened to be the best looking man I had seen in quite a while.

He was tall and slender, and beautiful.

He was sitting all alone at the other side of the bar, and he had given me the once over a couple of times.

He had the most amazing thatch of unruly overlong golden blonde curls that he kept tossing back over his shoulder.

I just love messy hair.

Bed hair.

Neat and tidy hair leaves me cold.

It says "I spend half my life in front of the mirror and half my income on product."

Messy hair says "I just got out of bed after a session of hot sex and don't care who knows it."

I smiled in what I hoped was an encouraging manner but he had stayed where he was, on the far side of the bar.

Maybe I should go to him?

I glanced at the time.

Really, I had high hopes for tonight and I wanted it to be a nice long night with lots of shenanigans, and time was slipping by.

I drained the last of my drink and gave myself a mental talking too.

_Get up and walk over to Mr Blonde and offer to buy him a drink. He is cute enough to not have to chase after girls himself; they probably all come to him. Now, Girl. Stop wasting time._

I placed the empty glass on the bar, stood up and assumed the position Bree had drummed into my head. Shoulders back, tits forward.

Blonde Guy raised his eyebrows and smirked, raising his glass to me.

_Oh yeah Baby. This is your lucky night._

"Jasper!" a voice exploded beside my ear and a tiny girl with spiky brown hair almost knocked me down in her haste to rush past and claim Cute Blonde Guy.

He smiled and his whole face lit up, and I realised he had never been a prospect at all.

He caught the whirlwind in his arms and smashed his lips down on hers as if there was nobody else in the room.

Damn.

To my surprise, after their lips finally parted, and he pulled the girl onto his lap, he whispered in her ear and she looked up, straight across at me. He was clearly talking about me, and his little girlfriend was scrutinizing me like I was a prize heifer they were considering purchasing.

I felt myself blush from head to foot and made my way to the Ladies Room hastily, in case they were thinking I might like to join them in a threesome.

My reflection in the mirror gazed back at me. My newly dyed brown hair was streaked with reddish highlights that glinted in the sunlight. It was taking some getting used to. Tomorrow would be even harder. Apparently the Swan family all had distinctive brown eyes and my ice blue's would soon be hidden behind contact lenses.

I was a little fearful of how they would feel.

I splashed some cold water on my face and congratulated the makeup manufacturer for actually succeeding in making a product that truly was waterproof, and carefully dabbed myself dry again with a paper towel.

Brushing my new longer length, thanks to hair extensions, I heard the door swing open and glanced in the mirror to check who my companion was, and felt quite flustered as the little girlfriend from the bar sat down on the chair beside mine.

"Hi. I'm Alice. My boyfriend and I were wondering..."

Seriously?

My stomach dropped.

"..if you were here looking for someone to have a bit of no strings fun with, because Jasper has this friend, and he's gorgeous and funny and he just got out of this shitty relationship and he doesn't date and truly, all he ever does is complain about his ex and it's holding him back from finding someone new and he doesn't trust women, so he's not looking for anything real but if he doesn't get laid soon we will shoot him or something, so we were wondering..."

My head spun. I had never heard anyone speak quite this quickly before. The words sunk in about then, and I realised she was pimping out her boyfriend's friend.

Which could be just what I need.

"He's gorgeous? Like, truly gorgeous, or gorgeous after half a dozen drinks?" I asked, patting my hair into place and putting my brush back into my bag. I took out my lipstick and carefully applied it, watching the girl out of the corner of my eye.

"Oh really gorgeous. So everyone tells me. I guess I can see it but my Jasper is just so darned adorable I find it hard to judge how handsome other men are. But if you asked Lauren I am sure she'd back me up. She's been chasing him for years but Edward avoids her like the plague and refuses to date anyone in our hometown, so we talked him into coming out with us tonight seeing we had to come to Seattle anyway.."

"Okay!" I held my hands up. "As it happens, for reasons I don't wish to go into, I am looking to hookup with someone tonight. I don't do this normally, believe me, and I am not looking for anything permanent, so maybe this is indeed fortuitous that we met. How about this. We go out there together, you buy me a drink, and introduce me to Mr Gorgeous. If you are indeed telling the truth, then maybe he and I can help one another out. But if he's creepy or weird or anything, then I shall just leave. How's that sound?"

"Wonderful," she replied, throwing me. I was waiting for her to break into another long seemingly endless sentence but she left it at the one word and held out her hand for me to shake.

"I'm Alice."

"So you said. I'm Isabella." No need for real names. If I had to live her shitty life, then she could lend me her name tonight.

I shook her tiny hand and returned her smile.

"Lead the way."

Alice started talking again, filling me in on all things Edward, as we walked out and it was taking all my concentration to understand her babble, so when we reached the bar I hadn't even looked up to check out her friend and when he spoke, I felt the breath leave my body.

He was standing beside Jasper, who suddenly looked plainer.

Holy Moly.

Gorgeous was an understatement.

He was stunning.

I've never met anyone with green eyes before and his seemed to reach inside my soul.

Wait.

WTF?

I do not ever speak like that, even to myself.

"Edward, this is Isabella," my new temporary friend said, grabbing my hand and placing it in his. "She has a free night and wants to have some fun and has no expectations so..."

Green Eyes raised his eyebrows in surprise, and smirked.

I bristled for a millisecond but then he smiled and the world tipped off it's axis and stopped turning.

I shook my head. My inner dialogue was turning into a Mills and Boon novel.

"Isabella. Nice to meet you. Could I buy you a drink?"

Whoa.

His voice sounded like velvet and I know that makes no sense because velvet doesn't make a sound, but if it did, it would sound like him.

"Thank you," I managed to reply.

"She will have a vodka and cranberry," Alice's Jasper interjected, winking at me. So, now I understood why he had been checking me out. Not for himself, but for Edward.

Well lucky me, because Edward made Jasper look kind of ordinary and I never thought I'd say that.

Even Jasper's hair lost it's sheen. While it was much nicer than average, Edward's messy auburn locks should have been illegal.

They were a dangerous weapon.

As if he read my mind, he casually ran his long slim fingers through his hair and grinned at me.

"Is that right? A vodka and cranberry, please," he asked the bartender.

I sat down on the bar stool beside him at Alice's urging, but actually my knees were so weak it was comply or embarrass myself by falling to the floor.

"So, Edward, we will leave you in Isabella's capable hands and head back to the hotel. See you in the morning. Have fun. Oh, and Alice promises not to ask you a single question tomorrow on the trip home. Don't you, Honey?"

Alice looked like she might cry.

"I promise," she conceded after a long moment. I could tell it was the last thing she wanted. It touched me that Edward had such clearly devoted friends. All my senses were on full alert as I tried to ignore the fact that he was gorgeous and let my gut guide me. Somewhere lower than my gut clearly approved and I felt myself blushing at the turmoil in my loins. I'd always wondered what that felt like but I knew now, without any doubt.

Lust, pure and simple.

I wanted him.

There was no doubt in my mind how this night would end, I just hoped he wouldn't do as Alice had warned me, and back out. Apparently he had before.

She and Jasper had been setting him up with suitable girls for months but unfortunately for womankind, he wasn't a manwhore, and had resisted thus far.

She was very sure he needed to do this, needed to hook up, to get his ex out of his head, and thus to move on.

For a moment I regretted the fact that my role was merely as the hookup.

Fate, I have found, is like that.

Just when I'm tied down in an assignment that necessitates me acting like a schoolgirl, I find a man who I find intriguing from his first word. Where has he been all my life?

This encounter has a shelf life of one night, no more. No matter what.

Tomorrow I'm a High School student, and for an entire year I have to live my life that way, being seemingly attracted by seventeen and eighteen year old guys, as stomach churning as that will be.

But if I'm lucky, at night in the privacy of my borrowed bed, I will have tonight to think about, and remember.

And no matter how horny I ever feel, I will just have to endure it.

Pretence can only go so far. The real Isabella may have had the option of sleeping around with her schoolmates, but I won't, not that I'd want to

Yuk.

Life had taught me males were pretty much not worth knowing until they neared thirty.

"So, Isabella," Edward said, pushing my drink towards me, "Tell me something about yourself. What's a beautiful woman like you doing hooking up with strangers?"

"Ah, one stranger," I corrected him. "I don't do this. Honestly. It's a first for me, but circumstances dictate that this is my only option. It's complicated."

You have no idea how complicated.

"I understand. I've never hooked up either. Casual sex is not on the top of my list of things to do. My friends are convinced however, that it's what I need to do to get a certain woman out of my head.

I don't know...

I feel kind of bad, though.

I mean, I'm intending to use you for my own purpose then walk away. Can you handle that?"

I shrugged.

"Normally, I would not consider doing anything like this, but needs must. Let's not overthink things. It is what it is. One night of fun and games and that's it. We both know the rules, right? No full names, no details, just enjoy the time we have and say Goodbye in the morning. How hard could it be? We don't know anything about one another and that's they way it has to stay.

That way we can pretend whatever we want. With your looks, I'm pretending you are some much adored movie star. Okay?"

He laughed.

"I wish my life was that exciting. Okay, then you are a supermodel."

I had to laugh because most supermodels tend to be slightly taller than five foot four.

"Really? Like a supermodel in another universe where short chicks rule?"

"I wouldn't call you short. Petite," Edward suggested. "Anyway, you are too healthy and pretty to be a model. You could never pull off the whole heroin addict look. Maybe you should be an actress. Maybe we met at work. Starred together in a blockbuster."

"Action hero movie?" I asked. "If so, then let me be the hero, not the damsel in distress. I'm so sick of women sitting around waiting to be saved. I want to do the saving."

"Funny you should say that," Edward said quietly, suddenly serious. He took my hand and holding my gaze, raised my hand to his lips, and kissed my fingers. "I need saving."

I stared back into his eyes and saw the pain and misery there and as we looked at one another, I thought I saw them change colour. He looked hot, and sexy and, yes, even hopeful that this would be the key that freed him and let him move forward.

I could do this.

I could be his key.

"Let's get out of here," he said suddenly. He kept my hand in his and we walked outside, where he waved a cab over and gave the driver the address of Seattle's best hotel.

xxxx

"Isabella, as I said, I've never done this before so all I can suggest is we look at this as a role, seeing we are actors," he said gravely, but with a soft smile. "Pretend we have feelings for one another. I want to kiss you and I promise to treat you carefully. I won't do anything you don't want to do, and if you change your mind just ask me to stop and I will. I promise."

He sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out his hands toward me.

I didn't hesitate.

All his words sounded like goodbye, like he wasn't committed to this, and that if I made one sign of hesitation, he would be gone. I was sure by now that this was my chance. This felt oddly like it was always meant to happen. Like it was Edward I had waited for.

I took his hands and straddled his lap, feeling far bolder than I'd imagined.

His eyes were locked on mine, searching for fear or ambivalence on my part and there truly was none.

I may regret many things in my life but tonight would not be one of them.

Okay, I already regretted this was all we could ever be, but that just made me all the more determined to cherish every moment.

Edward released my hands and I placed them lightly on his shoulders as he embraced my waist and leaned in to kiss me.

I swooned.

Honestly.

The moment his lips touched mine I seemed to forget how to breathe and the whole world became just the few inches of his mouth against mine.

His breathing hitched and I felt myself pulling in closer, grabbing his hair in my fingers, urging him against me. I was burning, on fire, and desperate for him to do this. Now.

His hands became urgent as he traced down my sides and I felt pieces of my clothing be wrenched off but not fast enough. I cooperated, urging him to strip me faster, then tearing at his clothes as well, his lips still ravaging mine.

Edward wrenched his belt off, ripped his jeans away and kicked them aside as he lowered my body beneath his onto the bed. I felt him reach behind and take my ankles, pulling them forward and up, onto his shoulders, and I gasped as his fingers entered inside me.

"You feel ready, are you ready for me?" he whispered urgently.

I nodded, biting my lip between my teeth.

In theory this was about to hurt like Hell, according to Bree.

"Isabella, do you want me to stop?" he asked worriedly as I tensed.

"No, please, don't stop," I begged, breathing in deeply, then remembering it was probably better to pant through the pain so I didn't over react.

He was watching my eyes and I held his gaze steadily and reminded myself I wanted this, so badly, and I knew if he stopped now I would regret it far more than he.

"Please," I begged.

He kissed me again and I felt him push inside me, and I felt myself tear. It wasn't that bad. I could handle it.

Edward stopped still.

Uh oh.

"Isabella! Oh God no. Why didn't you tell me?"

His eyes looked downright tortured. He dropped my legs down, so I clasped them around his waist before he could withdraw.

"Please, just keep going," I urged, forcing myself to arch so he went in deeper.

He was silent then, and I knew there was no way he would have done this if he had known beforehand.

"It's okay, it's what I want," I assured him quietly.

"Are you sure you want your first time to be with a stranger?" he questioned.

I nodded.

"Please."

I could see he was torn a lot more than I was.

"It's okay, please don't stop."

I grabbed at his back and urged him to keep going, and finally he complied, but I knew he had come very close to refusing to do this.

"This should be with someone you love," he whispered, his hands gentle on my backside as he inched inside me.

"Then pretend you love me," I suggested.

His lips began kissing my throat, my shoulder,my breasts, my face and then as he sealed our lips together again he bucked inside and paused again, pulling his face back to watch my eyes again.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No. No, it's fine."

"But it's not good," he replied, pulling out.

I felt bereft instantly and feared I would cry.

"it's okay. We can do this, if it is really what you want. I just want it to be good for you too. Lay back and relax."

He hovered above me for a moment then moved away, lowering his head until it was between my legs and I felt his lips kiss me, and his tongue lick me where the fire burned.

The pain eased as a new type of fire began to ignite, and I threw my arms above my head and grabbed onto the bars of the ornate cast iron bedhead.

I could hear the sound of my own moans as Edward's tongue slid against my tender skin and my body arched towards his mouth, wanting him closer.

It felt so good I didn't want him to stop and I could feel the tension building as he eased his finger inside me and stroked in time with his tongue.

Why had I waited again?

Clearly because I had never imagined it could be like this.

I felt myself suddenly explode against his lips and he immediately left and was hovering above me again, pushing inside my still pulsating core.

This time his thrusting didn't hurt at all and I tentatively ground against him each time he entered.

"Oh Baby, Isabella, you feel so good, so amazing," he chanted, and I wished I'd told him my real name in that moment. This was mine, my time, my turn, she had no part of this.

"Edward, go harder," I whispered. He seemed to be holding back, afraid to hurt me I guessed.

He thrust in harder and grabbed onto my thighs, his breathing louder with each stroke.

I was surprised to feel good, needy, wanting more, even though a minute earlier I had felt done.

We rocked together faster and he let himself thrust deeper and deeper until the friction of his body against mine sent sparks off between us where we were joined, and just as my body succumbed to pure pleasure again, the room went dark and stars appeared beneath my eyelids.

"Edward," I yelled in surprise, feeling him thrusting urgently now, slightly out of control, and then he yelled my name; her name, and I didn't care at all.

It was my body he was thrilling, my lips he was kissing, my back his hands was pulling in closer to his chest. He shook and stilled inside me then commenced thrusting again, slower, more gently, moaning in ecstasy.

Once again I felt bereft as he pulled out and flopped down beside me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, wrapping his body around mine. "You bled a little. Are you sore?"

My mind suddenly kicked in.

"You drank my blood?"

There was no other explanation. His mouth, his tongue had been right there.

"It tasted delicious," he admitted, kissing my cheek.

Okay, this had been so very different to what I had pictured. In my mind, I'd thought I would lay here passively and he would...do his thing, and I would endure the pain and be glad when it was over.

Instead I wished I could turn back time and have him do that, do everything, over again.

My mother was right about one thing.

First times were special.

I would never forget mine.

xxxx

"How was it for you? Honestly?" Edward asked as I relaxed against his body as he spooned his around mine.

"So much better than I ever hoped or expected," I admitted happily. He snuggled against me, reaching to tuck my hair behind my ear and kissing my throat.

"It was amazing for me. I had no idea."

"I know. I guess I should say sorry for not warning you but you would never have agreed if I had told you, would you?" I said.

"Never," he agreed.

He leaned up and rested his head on one hand, his elbow bent on the mattress, as I turned to face him.

I put my hands around his face and kissed his lips softly, and he lay flat down, pulling my body close to his again.

"Thank you. I felt totally safe with you and thank you for making it feel so..awesome for me. I didn't expect that at all."

"What did you expect?" he asked, taking my hands and kissing them.

"Lots of pain, agony, fear. Having to handle it in silence while you had your thrill," I replied.

"Then I'm glad it wasn't like that. I feel kind of in awe that you wanted me to do that. I can't pretend to understand why you chose me."

"Maybe I knew on some level how gentle you would be," I murmured.

"Isabella, this is going to make it harder to walk away," he stated, kissing my neck. "Are you sure we can only have tonight because I really want to see you again."

"I'm sorry too, but we have to remember this is just what it is. We don't really have feelings for one another. I guess it's like being the survivors of a plane crash or something. You share an intense experience and it superficially bonds you together. But real life isn't like that. Not for me.

I have my life mapped out for the next few years and it can't be changed. I never imagined I would wish it could be otherwise, and I'm sure in the light of day we will both realise we are being a tad dramatic here now.

We are still strangers and our paths will never cross again."

"Unless it's meant to," Edward suggested. "Maybe it's written in the stars for us to find one another again some day."

I shrugged. "Sometimes kismet happens. I'm not banking on it this time."

"Would you like to take a bath? With me?" he asked.

"Sure. If that's okay. Won't there be blood?" I asked.

"Isabella, you cannot honestly think I'm afraid of a little blood," he said with a laugh.

It was nice, laying against his chest as he washed my breasts with such dedication. I could see he was a man who liked to do everything properly. Thoroughly.

"You are one beautiful and amazing woman, Isabella. I shall miss you."

"Not possible," I laughed. "You don't know me, Edward. I'm very forgettable. Very ordinary. You make me feel beautiful and that's quite an achievement, I can tell you. Nobody has ever made me feel that way before."

"Are you going to tell me why you chose to lose your virginity to a stranger?" he asked. "I really want to know."

"Because it was time. I've had boyfriends. I've dated so many toads I could start a reptile park. It just never felt right and I decided I had to do this, preferably with somebody pretty, and nice, and kind, and then walk away before you could let me down. Nothing personal, but in my experience all men let you down. I wanted this to happen with someone I had nothing invested in. That way I can always wonder 'what if' and I think that will be amazing.

You were amazing, and I shall remember you with gratitude and fondness forever. How many women have said that to you, Edward?"

He laughed.

"You have a point. If you knew me you would never have let me touch you. It was better this way. I'll always be your movie star and you will always be my virgin. I'll never forget you."

"Good," I said, kissing his lips. "Now, how about we go back to bed, and get some sleep. And maybe in the morning we can do it all again and I can walk out the door with a smile on my face, and keep this memory locked in my heart forever. Deal?"

"Deal. If that's what you really want."

"Oh Edward, believe me, it's not what I want. Not really. I bet you and I would be good together. But I have commitments and I'm sure you do too. It's called Real Life. I'm not a player in your movie and you aren't in mine either.

Can we get room service? I'm starving."

xxxx

It was an amazing night.

It was the first time I slept with a man, in both senses.

Falling asleep with him spooned against me was wonderful. Although it was all make believe, I still felt cherished and protected. I guess it was because we had no future, there was no reason to hold back. No hearts were risked, no feelings in danger of being hurt. Waking up in the early hours when he started stroking my flesh again. I had my legs wide apart in an instant.

"No, Baby. You will hurt. I don't want to cause you pain. We can just hug."

"Oh no we can't," I growled. "I want you to make love to me again. I don't care if I'm left a little sore and grazed. I have a long time to recover. I want some more memories, Edward. We have tonight, and nothing more. Please, just do it again."

"Maybe if I enter from behind it might be more comfortable," he suggested.

I stiffened and he chuckled.

"Isabella, I'm not suggesting anal. Just a different position so no one area gets too raw."

"Okay," I said warily.

Edward took charge and his hand lowered to my apex and in seconds I was ready.

"I want you so badly," Edward said but I was thinking the same thing exactly. His voice was turning me on something chronic. How was I going to live the rest of my life without him and his magic fingers?

He pulled me close as if I was sitting on his knee, although we were both laying down on our sides and I felt him push inside.

Oh yes.

I remember this feeling.

He started off slowly and gently and I urged him to go faster and harder and deeper, because I liked it that way.

His fingers stroked against my eager nerves and I felt myself let go, and he thrust again and let go too.

Damn that was awesome.

I imagine that is as good as it gets for any human.

As he left my body, he turned me to face him, and the kissing started yet again.

I love his kisses.

I could truly let myself believe they meant something if I wasn't careful.

I had not really thought about anything more the the mechanics of sex. Maybe all guys kissed you like this in gratitude when you let them inside your body?

"Isabella, I am loving this time spent with you. You are a beautiful woman and your body is just amazing. Thank you."

His hands a lips seemed to stroke or kiss every inch of me, and I felt like laughing out loud with pure joy.

So this is bliss.

I'd wondered what that word really meant.

Clearly this was why it was invented.

We lay there wrapped together so tightly I was surprised we could continue breathing, but neither wanted to pull back.

My skin needed his against it. It was hungry, greedy, for his touch.

He was an amazing lover and I pitied whoever came next because I knew it would be impossible to not compare them to Edward.

And compared to him they would suck.

So I pitied me as well.

And I felt something I had never felt before.

Pure jealousy for whoever she would be. The woman who got to keep him.

It couldn't be me, but that's my life.

We ate breakfast together, in bed, and showered together again, for the third time, and we even managed shower sex which was all I hoped it would be.

And then checkout time was looming.

"Hey. Do you have plans for today? I could tell Jaz and Alice to go home without me and follow later," Edward suggested.

"Is that a good idea, really?" I asked. "I have somewhere to be at six p.m. tonight but my day is clear."

"Of course it's not a good idea but who cares? I want as much time with you as I can have," he declared, pulling on the new pair of socks he had bought in the gift shop.

I shivered in anticipation that maybe we would find a place to touch one another again, if not have full sex. I thirsted for his body against mine but if all I could have were his clever hands then they would have to suffice. And his lips.

Damn it, how was I going to walk away from his lips?

The new underclothing he had bought for me felt so soft and silky against my skin. I would think of him every time I wore them.

Who was I kidding?

I would think of him every day of my life and dream about him every night.

I was screwed.

xxxx

Edward insisted on taking me to his favourite shops,and I reluctantly allowed him to clasp a pretty bracelet with a small shiny diamond around my wrist; not the expensive one he preferred.

I pointed out if he bought me that diamond ladened monstrosity, it would feel like payment in kind. I didn't want last night to feel like a transaction.

This bracelet was sixty bucks.

He didn't look like a man on a budget, and clearly sixty dollars was nothing to him. He gave in, in good grace. I hadn't wanted him to buy me anything at all.

We compromised. I let him buy one small diamond pendant to hang off the silver circle.

We went to his favourite restaurant for lunch, then we spent the afternoon lying on a picnic blanket in a park, kissing and cuddling like a pair of high school lovers.

I was glad I would get to talk about this in the days and weeks and months to come, even if I had to lower his age to a daring twenty one maybe, but at least I could let my teenage self imagine that he had been the love of my life that Fate had ripped from me.

I didn't think about that too much.

It would be useful to use this experience to relate to my new school friends, but they would never know how long I had waited for him.

And how brief our time together really was. I would be able to pretend it had been a whole Summer we had spent in one another's arms, not a mere twenty four hours.

Damn, I would miss him.

"Why can't we meet again? Explain to me," Edward asked, leaning up on his elbow, playing with a strand of my hair as I lay on my back looking at the clouds above. Soft, fluffy, like cotton.

"Because this has been perfect. And because my life is complicated."

"You know, I'd guess you were married if it wasn't for the fact you were a virgin. What other complication could be so radical it means we can't even date? You can't have kids at home waiting for you. If you had a serious boyfriend you wouldn't have needed me. What is it?"

"My life is not my own most of the time. I can't explain. It's not something I can discuss. Look, in an ideal world, sure, we could date. Get to know one another, and see if this could be a beginning but believe me, it isn't possible. For a year, maybe two, my life has no room for a boyfriend. It's just impossible. If I'd met you earlier things might be different but it's just the way things are."

As tempted as I was to resign there and then and find myself a job in a library or something, this was my career, and I was good at it.

Looking back at my woeful dating history, it was pretty obvious I wasn't wife and mother material. Things always started out strong, and good, and then sometimes only days later I'd find myself looking for an excuse to cancel our next date.

Beg Marcus to send me back undercover long enough for the guy to cool off, give up and move on.

Maybe it could be different with Edward, and then again, maybe not.

I knew nothing about him.

For all I knew he was a serial killer.

Even if he was something a lot less dramatic, how would I feel if I tossed in my career and we didn't last the distance?

How many couples stay married these days?

I'm waiting for the term 'life partner' to be abandoned, seeing nobody hangs on for an entire lifetime any more.

You can't have multiple 'life partners' so we need to revert back to the old 'significant other', seeing it doesn't imply permanency at all.

No false promises; no raising anyone's hopes.

Edward was recently out of a failed relationship so he was no more perfect than the rest of us, except for the obvious.

But pretty is not a basis for a relationship, and neither is excellent, red hot sex.

I had to be real here. I wasn't seventeen any more, though I would be tomorrow.

Seventeen but with eight years extra experience and knowledge.

I wish I'd had that when I really was seventeen.

Edward looked sad.

"So, did you achieve what you wanted to achieve?" I asked him as he ran his hand over my cheek. I had to leave soon, in two short hours, to be sitting in the airport, 'newly arrived' when Charlie Swan appeared.

"Hmm? Oh yes. I'm completely sure I'll never think of her again. Not now. Now my head will be full of you. Your face, your scent, your body. Your lips.

It seems I have swapped one obsession for another.

I truly no longer care that she treated me like shit and cheated on me. It doesn't matter any more. This night and day though so much briefer are so much more meaningful. I'll never forget you, Isabella."

See, that's how I know life sucks.

This beautiful man will remember me, for a while, at least, and he will always think my name is Isabella.

xxxx

The receptionist seemed unsurprised that we were back and she handed over the keycard and gave me a wink.

Okay, she got it.

She knew a guy like Edward was hard to resist and even harder to walk away from.

Luckily nobody else entered the elevator or appeared in the lobby on our floor because we were both pretty much naked by the time Edward opened the door to our room.

The bedcovers were tossed to the floor as Edward all but threw me onto the bed, and he was above me as soon as he kicked off his shoes, and pulled my black leather boots from my legs.

My new knickers were thrown somewhere, and then Edward paused, running his hands over my naked body.

"Is there anything you want to try? So far you have let me lead."

"There's a reason for that, remember," I replied.

"Oh, I will never ever forget that I was your first," Edward replied. "Nobody else has ever bestowed that honour on me. I will treasure the memory."

"So, maybe you could lie down and I could...sort of..."

"be on top? That would be nice."

He helped me as I somewhat inelegantly straddled his body and lowered myself onto him. It was good, being in control of how slowly he fitted inside, and how deep I wanted him to go.

Once he was all the way in, he grinned. "Well done. You seem to be a natural at this."

"Maybe I just have the best teacher," I replied.

Edward held my hips and smiled as I tried to work out what to do now.

He took my feet and placed them flat on the mattress again and guided me up away from him, then back down.

Thrills shot through me, and I soon figured out where to aim for and I had to agree, this was coming naturally to me. To us.

We seemed to be a very good fit.

I had no clue if he was large or average, having no comparisons to draw on, but he was the perfect size for me.

He leaned up and started sucking on a nipple, and I exploded without warning, yelling out his name.

He wrapped his arms around my body and sat up properly, keeping me still flush against him as I pulsed and tried to remember to breathe.

How were we going to stop?

He hadn't come yet and that made me bold.

I wasn't a fan of this layer of plasticky latex between us.

"Edward, have you ever made love bareback?" I asked, rubbing my hands through his hair.

"No, never. I've only had sex within relationships and neither got to the point where I was willing to risk impregnating either girl," he replied.

Wow.

I was only his third.

I had kind of figured he would have been with a lot of girls by now.

"I really want us to try that. Please."

He shook his head.

"Isabella, that's too dangerous. I mean, I'm clean. I've been tested since we split up and I have never done anything risky anyway, but you don't need the worry and complications of an unwanted pregnancy. Isn't this enough?"

I could feel him bucking slightly, impatient to get going again so he could finish. I would never get this chance again. Not with him.

"Please. I just finished my period. There's no chance I'm ovulating any time soon. Even your sperm could not hang around for ten more days. I really want to feel you come inside me."

I had him.

He moaned at the idea.

Quickly taking advantage, I stood and peeled the condom from him, and tossed it away, before sitting back down, and feeling nothing but him; his bare naked skin; inside me.

"So much better," I cooed, and he sighed and kissed my lips.

"Isabella, only you could convince me to allow this. I have to withdraw beforehand, so don't stop me."

As it turned out, I didn't have to.

He was in a perfect rhythm, rocking me to the edge again, and as I felt myself let go, he suddenly pumped harder and came inside me.

I knew he would freak so I grabbed his shoulders and sat there, holding him, kissing his head, murmuring that it was okay, everything was going to be fine.

"I'm so regular you could use me as a calendar. There's no harm done. It's way too early in my cycle," I reassured him.

He finally stilled and looked up at me almost bashfully.

"Isabella, that was the best feeling I have ever felt in my life."

"For me too," I agreed.

"We can't do it again," he warned, but guess what? He was wrong.

Because we did.

Twice.

We showered together in a rush, and I threw on my clothing, and he caught me as I headed for the door. I just hoped Charlie Swan was as late as I was.

"Goodbye, Isabella. Thank you for the very best twenty four hours of my life. No matter what you say, I am allowed to love you a little bit. Please remember me. I'll never forget you. One day I will find you again and your life will not be complicated by then," he promised.

"Goodbye, Edward. It's been unbelievable," I replied. "It's been the best time ever, and I love you a little as well. I hope you do find me again. I won't be hiding."

Well, I guess I would be, but one day this case would be over, and I would definitely reevaluate my priorities, because suddenly, for the first time, there was another life I wanted more than the one I had worked for, and achieved by my own merit, and was living now.

Our last kiss was so tender it brought tears to my eyes, so I pulled away and fled, as if the hounds of Hell were at my heels.

I didn't dare look back.


	2. Chapter 2

Note: Moving house in 2 days so can't then update until internet is connected. Cheers for your patience. Oh and I'm never going to know what words or phrases Americans do or don't use so just pm me if you don't understand anything,lol. Bloody Australians. We speak Aussie, not English.

Witsec

Chapter 2

EPOV

"What's up?" Jasper asked, sitting down beside me as I perched on a rock down the bottom of my property, near the river. Along this section it was more of a stream, except when the real rain hit. For now it was just your average babbling brook. Tiny schools of equally tiny fish swam frantically around in circles.

I dropped in a few flakes of pastry from the croissant in my hand.

It tasted like dust to me.

"I can't shake the feeling that she might have been my One," I admitted, looking at his face to see how he reacted.

"Fuck," he replied.

So like Jasper, right to the point.

"Yeah. It's weird. I spent less than twenty four hours with her and it felt like years. It seemed like we knew one another through and through yet I can't tell you a single fact about her.

I don't know her full name. I don't know her age, or her birthday. Believe me, I tried to find out just one thing, any thing. I bought her a bracelet solely so she'd have something from me to keep, and I asked her what her birthstone is just to find out when her birthday falls. And she said she didn't like her birthstone.

I asked if I could have her initials engraved onto the bracelet and she said she didn't like that idea.

I've never wanted to know everything about anyone before, and instead, I know nothing about her except her first name, and sometimes I even wonder if that was true.

Girls at bars do sometimes give a false name, right?"

Jasper shrugged.

"Guys do, so yeah, probably. Especially when they don't want to be traced. You have to consider the idea that you were a lot more into her than she was into you. You bought her a bracelet. Did she buy you anything?"

I nodded and held out my hand.

I've never thought it manly to wear a ring before but when Isabella had insisted on buying me something back, I'd been thrilled. I guess I wanted something to prove I hadn't just dreamt her up.

"A ring? Well that's an odd choice, if she is honest about never wanting to see you again. That's a strange looking symbol repeated over and over."

"It's a sterling silver om ring," I explained. "Good for diluting my negative karma she said."

"Well that's sweet. She cares about your karma. Surely you exchanged numbers at least."

"Her life is complicated," I stated, repeating her words. "She's tied up for a couple of years but not with a husband, boyfriend or child. Just her career. How good can a career be? How can it be better than a relationship? I'd quit my career in an instant if it meant we could attempt to be together."

I really felt rotten today.

Like I'd been allowed a glimpse of Heaven then had the Pearly Gates slammed in my face.

Like I'd found the road to Paradise only to find a roadblock I couldn't get past.

My life had been so boringly ordinary that, to be honest, I'd never hoped for more than mediocrity, and that's all I had ever been given.

Until Isabella.

"Do you wish Alice and I had stayed out of it and never introduced you to her?"

"No," I admitted. "What we shared was incredible. Too good. I just wanted more. Not just the sex, I know I could get that elsewhere. It was her. She fascinated me, Jasper. I've never been fascinated before.

I know I've been a whiny bitch lately because of Heidi, but you know what? I don't even care now. I wouldn't take her back if she begged me. I have zero interest in her. It disappeared the moment I slept with Isabella.

I invested three years of my life in that relationship and only felt compelled to fight for it because it seemed like too much effort to walk away and start again with another 'Heidi' from scratch.

But Isabella is different.

I already feel her absence. I would give anything to find her again.

I could feel this connection, Jasper. I've never felt anything like it before and I really do believe she felt the same way. I have to meet her again. This time you would have to drag me away kicking and screaming. I should have never let her go."

"Well it's kind of against the law to lock women in your basement, so you did the right thing. If you two are meant to be together, it will happen.

One day when you least expect it, she will come skipping along the sidewalk when you are out on one of your runs, and you'll fall into one another's arms, and live happily ever after."

"I wish that were true. I really do."

I beheaded a daisy and tossed the petals into the water, and watched them swirl and sink as they were swept away.

Jasper looked up towards the house and growled under his breath.

"Rosalie is here."

I turned and watched my sister stroll towards us.

"Hey Little Bro. I hear you are angsting over some new girl now. You need to get away for a while and sort out what you really want.

Last week you wanted Heidi back, and were willing to forgive her again and today you won't answer her calls. Now she's calling me. I don't know what to tell her."

"Tell her Edward has forgotten she exists," Jasper suggested.

"Yeah," I agreed. "She can do whatever and whoever she wants now. It means nothing to me any more. I should have tossed her aside months ago. Stupidly I thought there was nobody else who would ever get my attention, and look how wrong I was.

Block her calls on your phone.

Change your number.

I have.

Just ignore her, Rosalie. I do."

I had no desire to waste another second thinking about that selfish woman, who had made me angry and made me sad, but even after the years we had been together, admittedly on and off, it felt amazing to finally be free.

Not only did I not care if I never heard her name again, I didn't even care if I did.

She'd gone from the woman I thought was the best I could hope for, to just some annoyance I was glad was no longer in my life.

My sister walked back to the house, and Jasper and I sat beside the stream and I told him everything I felt compelled to share about Isabella. I had to tell someone. I had to say her name out loud, just to keep her real, and alive.

I didn't want to let her go.

BPOV

"Hello there. I'm your father, for all intents and purposes," Charlie Swan said, walking towards me, reaching for my suitcases.

I'd collected them and paid the fee for their storage overnight, and disposed of the receipt.

"Hi Dad," I said brightly, embracing him awkwardly. 'Teenage girl greets father she hasn't seen since she was four' awkwardly. I hoped.

"No, let's stick to 'Charlie'. My daughter called me Dad. I'd rather keep that little memory if you don't mind. I'm sure plenty of your generation call their parents by their Christian names."

"No problem, Charlie. "

"And you answer to Bella, or Bells. Renee gave you that fancy name but nobody ever used it. Well, a few of the more pretentious women here did, but none of your friends or family."

I was glad about that because right from the start I'd felt more like a Bella. Isabella sounded out of place and too grand.

"Good to know. So, I was hoping you would tell me all you can about my 'mother' Renee. There's not much info about her."

Charlie took his hat off and scratched his head.

"You'd know much more about her than I would. I haven't seen her for many years whereas you supposedly grew up with her so it won't really matter if you get anything wrong. People change. She most likely is nothing like she was in High School.

We were only together for two years, remember, then she left and took you away. I have photos of Bella and Renee...of you and your mother...I got them out to show you."

"Thanks Charlie. That will be helpful." I replied. I had only seen three photos of the woman and she looked different in each one.

Her hair was naturally mousey brown but it looked like the colour that would look great with some caramel highlights and maybe blonde streaks through it too, so I had mentally given Renee in the photos a makeover. And improved her dress sense.

Nowadays she wore simple but expensive resortwear.

Nice fitted slimline kaftans with white cheesecloth pants underneath.

Bright colours would suit her, with her newly pretty hair.

Brighten up her dull brown eyes.

Just like Charlie's.

Bella had no chance of any other colour.

I squinted again as the pieces of plastic covering my ice blue irises grated against my eyeballs. Heck I hope I get used to these fuckers.

Hopefully if my eyes water the other kids will just assume it's because I feel displaced and miss my friends from my old school.

"I've arranged a vehicle for you," Charlie said as he drove. "I bought it off an old friend. He will remember my daughter and you look enough like she probably does now to pull this off. I used to take you to the Res at La Push. First Beach. Fishing and playing in the sand. His son might come in useful. Jacob is your age."

He coughed.

"Seventeen?" I checked.

"Yep. Won't it be rather irritating for you to have to hang with a bunch of teenagers?"

"Probably but that's what I am myself now. A teenager. Expect some rebellious behaviour and please, if I really can't stand any one individual in particular, ban me from being around them for some reason. You know them all. Some of them must have come to your attention."

"No problem. Now, there will be house rules of course. No boys staying overnight."

I managed not to choke.

"Thanks for that. I'm sure it will be hard to resist, but I am glad I have that excuse to keep teenage boys out of my bedroom. Threaten them with your gun," I suggested.

"And you will have homework and chores," Charlie said with the hint of a grin.

"Then let me cook. I like cooking," I suggested.

"Fine. I guess the diner will miss my constant patronage then."

"We could go once a week, maybe," I said. I wanted one night free. God knows what I'd do with it but really, being under his constant supervision was going to be really suffocating.

"I work a lot of shift work so we really won't see that much of one another. Now, I'm assuming there won't be any adult boyfriend turning up, because I would not allow a teenage daughter of mine to date an older man, and the locals would find that very strange if I did."

"No Charlie, no boyfriend," I said wistfully. Dammit.

"Weekends are your own. I work both days so the family men can spend time with their wives and kids. Me, the eternal bachelor, has nothing better to do than work. I take Tuesdays and Thursdays off, unless someone calls in sick, or has to stay home with a sick child."

Maybe I'd sneak off to Seattle on the weekends and hang out at that bar where I met Edward. Maybe he'd come looking for me there.

We'd agreed to no contact and had not exchanged any details, but I was already regretting that. I had no idea of his surname, his hometown, his family.

I knew he wasn't married or in a relationship but big deal. He would be one day soon. At least I wouldn't have to see it. I could keep him forever single in my head.

Mine.

xxxx

My bedroom was unbelievably small and crowded, with an old rocker plus a desk, and various sets of drawers, and random small tables, probably dumped in here when no longer required downstairs. At first I thought I had a toddler bed but Charlie assured me it was a regular twin. I just hadn't slept in one for a very long time. Even in my teens I had a queen bed.

Maybe I could demand one for my birthday?

"Okay this room needs a makeover. No seventeen year old girl would accept this," I growled. "When was it last painted?"

"The month before you were born," Charlie replied, keeping up the fiction.

"Well I don't like it. The other girls in my class will not have rooms like this. I hope I have my own bathroom?"

If not, this was going to be awkward.

"One upstairs bathroom," Charlie replied."Emmett has his own downstairs but you probably wouldn't want to go in there."

"Great."

"Look, I'm here to eat and sleep. We can swap bedrooms. In an attempt to keep my wife happy when she lived here so briefly , I had a builder enlarge the master bedroom, so I guess it would only be fair for you to have it and I'll sleep in here. It's not a problem. You do the necessary moving stuff around and I won't argue. And you can decorate however you like. Fair enough?"

"Thanks, Charlie," I said excitedly. That sounded a whole lot better. I'd even paint this room up all masculine and dress it with some nice new furniture for him as a Thank You.

His room was enormous and went the whole width of the house, and it has two windows. One is an average size, looking out onto the street and the other a large bay window overlooking the backyard and forest. They both let in light and even some slight warmth from the sun.

So much nicer than Isabella's dark and gloomy nursery themed room.

I could do so much with all this space. It was going to be bearable after all.

" So, where's my car?" I asked.

"That sounds like it now," he replied, walking to the window that overlooked the front yard. "Yep. Come meet Billy Black and his son Jacob. He's your age, remember."

Billy Black proved to be some sort of Native American and he was in a wheelchair. He paid scant attention to me, just a rather formal greeting then he and Charlie started discussing 'the game'.

His son was tall and skinny and sort of beautiful. He had the most amazing long shiny black hair. I wanted to paint him. As in, paint his portrait.

"Hi. I'm Jake. We used to make mud pies together."

"Yeah sure. I remember," I replied, paying more attention to the rustbucket they had arrived in.

Charlie raised an eyebrow and patted the roof of the truck.

Fuck no.

I looked in complete disbelief at the red heap of junk that my father had bought for me to drive.

"This is it? This is my car?" I said in shock.

"Hey, it's a good truck. Nice and solid and dependable and that's what every teenage girl needs. If it comes to a bingle, this baby will come out without any real damage. Not like those plastic cars they make today. If you don't like it I could always take you to school in the cruiser."

"Kill me now," I mumbled. I could well believe it would take one heck of an accident to dent this tank. It could be driven into battle and withstand shell fire and landmines blowing up under it.

"I rebuilt the engine myself. It's pretty decent," Jake said.

He siddled up beside me, offering to show me where the clutch was, because that can be hard to find.

It's the other one; the one that isn't the brake.

I cringed internally at the look on his face.

Great.

I had me an admirer already.

Maybe we could sit up in my bedroom and braid one another's hair sometime. That would be fun.

"Bella, Jake has offered to take you to Junior prom. I think it's a great idea," Charlie said.

I wanted to slap him. Then I saw maybe it would be a good idea, actually. If I was already partnered, I wouldn't be pestered by any other Junior boys.

I was surprised that both Jacob and his father believed the lie that I was Isabella so easily. I have to admit when I looked in the mirror I did not for the life of me see a seventeen year old looking back.

I expected someone to snort and start scoffing any minute.

"So, do you want to go to Prom? With me?" Jake asked.

"Sure. It's cool to have a ready made friend here waiting. You are already like a brother to me," I said deliberately tearing down any ideas he may be building up in his head.

"But you already have a brother," Jake reminded me and I wondered when I would get to meet the other Swan.

Emmett.

I just hoped he was nice and nerdy and plain and that there would never be any sparks between us. It seemed unlikely, because my heart was already taken.

By a man I'd never see again.

"So, when's your birthday?" I asked Jacob. To my delight, I was several months older than him, and no self respecting seventeen year old girl would ever look at a guy younger than herself.

Instant win.

xxxx

Jake actually quickly proved to be useful. Firstly, he carried down all the old furniture from both of the bedrooms and piled it into the back of old Rusty Red, my truck. I'd checked with Charlie that none of his hideous wardrobes or dressers were family heirlooms. I was surprised when he said no, he had no emotional attachment to any of it because why else would you keep this butt ugly stuff?

His excuse was that he was a man, and didn't care what it looked like, and besides, he was so very busy, what with the playoffs and all that sporty shit.

Note to self, buy a second tv because nothing on earth will make me ever want to watch a bunch of sweaty men running around...

My mind blanked and suddenly all I could see was one particular hot, sweaty man rising above me, his naked chest glistening with sweat; his green eyes staring into mine; his lips curved in a slight but beautiful smile then he plunged deep inside me and my ...

I think I moaned.

Jake looked at me strangely.

"Are you okay?"

"Um, sure. I, uh, hurt my...back. Yeah. It's a bit painful now and then. Strikes me without warning. Sorry."

"Do you want me to drive? Maybe you need one of those special drivers cushions with back support?"

Oh, no cushion would ever fix my problem.

"Sure. We could look out for one, maybe. I think I should drive. I have to get a feel for this bitch sometime, may as well be now."

Jake became my Satnav and shouted directions above the roar of the tank, but actually it made me feel a little more respect for her. She was a tough lady, and did not pretend to be nice and quiet and feminine. No, she roared and took charge.

She ate up the miles to town like an animal charging at it's prey.

"Okay, park over there near the back, and Mike can carry whatever you buy out to the truck," Jake said.

I jumped out and looked at the shop. It was larger than expected and seemed to carry everything from camping gear to paint and ladders to wheelbarrows and tradies tools.

Newton's Outfitters and Hardware.

I decided to paint the smaller bedroom in a shade of pale cream with manly brown trim to match the leather bedhead I had in mind for Charlie's new bed. I hoped there was a furniture barn somewhere not to far away.

My room would be white. All white.

There was no way on God's green Earth I was painting it pink or mauve or girly.

Stuff that shit.

I could be seventeen and not be girly.

The woman who served us was a right laugh.

"Isabella Swan. I would recognise you anywhere. You are the image of your mother. How is Renee these days? I expect she's pretty lonely. I bet she regrets running off and leaving Charlie. He's such a lovely man," she gushed.

For some reason, I felt myself spring to the defence of the women who supposedly bore me.

"Actually Renee is doing really well. She has an amazing career and she is married to a baseball player," I lied. Then I realised I had better tone it down, in case this woman was a fan and knew all about the current team.

"Phil's only minor league but he's incredibly handsome, and rich and really the most wonderful caring supportive husband," I heard myself say. "They live in a mansion. Five bathrooms." I bit my tongue before it added that he was also just phenomenal in the bedroom and I'd spent my childhood overhearing her yell out in pleasure every single night.

I had almost named him 'Edward' but my jealous streak refused to let the almost mythical Renee share him. No, she could have 'Phil'.

"Really? Has she had more children? I always thought it a tragedy that she only had the one."

"But she has Emmett. My brother," I replied, confused. Surely I had gotten that right. I'd read the notes, more or less, over coffee. And Jake had said I had a brother.

I hadn't met him but he did exist. His bedroom was on the ground floor, near the back door. He had his own bathroom, lucky thing.

"But Emmett's not Renee's actual child. They adopted him after his mom, Charlie's best friend, died. He should have married her, Emma, not Renee.

Emmett's Mom.

She had such a crush on Charlie all through High School then she gets herself pregnant on Prom night, to God knows who, and dies when her baby is just a little chap. Nobody knows who Emmett's real father is.

Not Charlie, more's the pity.

He was too busy sniffing around Renee Higginbotham and she was way too young for him.

You must know all that, Isabella. Emmett's not actually related to you by blood."

What I must do was go home and study the damn notes. This is what happens when you skim.

"Of course. I just forgot for a moment."

Lame.

"Oh look who it is. Emmett himself," Jacob announced, saving me the extreme embarrassment of not 'recognising' my own brother. I didn't know if Emmett was in on the deception, and sworn to secrecy, or if he really thought I was Isabella.

I turned to greet him and managed to stifle a gasp at the sight of this six foot four inch grizzly bear who had wrapped his arms around me and swept me off my feet.

"Hey there, Sis. Long time no see."

"Sorry about that, Emmett, Um, do you think you could maybe put me down again?"

He laughed a great booming laugh and complied.

My feet hit the ground and I struggled not to faceplant on the brightly tiled floor of the hardware shop.

Jake grabbed my arm to steady me and I smiled him a quick smile of gratitude.

"So, you are doing a makeover of your bedroom, Charlie tells me," Emmett stated. "I hope you are not one of those emo kids who paints their walls black."

I quickly thought of the items of clothing I'd packed. Only one pair of jeans and my leather jacket were black, but nothing else. Mainly I had blue jeans and vintage T's and denim jackets, or hoodies. And scarves. Lots of scarves. Marcus had warned me the wind could be icy here.

The scarves gave me an idea.

"Nope. I'm more of a hipster, but I can't admit that."

"Why not?" Emmett laughed.

"Because if you think you are a hipster then you can't possibly be one. It's like the first hipster rule," I replied.

"So, how would a possible but not admitted hipster decorate her bedroom?" Emmett asked.

"Hmm. Kind of retro. Pictures of Audrey Hepburn on my walls. Sixties furniture. Artfully scruffy wooden photo frames. Not necessarily with photos in them. Lots of white then splashes of primary colours."

I'd only ever met one hipster so I described her bedroom.

"Lava lamp, beanbags and big cushions to lie on, on the floor. And one of those plastic bead curtains to divide the room."

"Sounds _groovy," _my brother laughed. "So, I know just the place to buy some of that shit. Jake, wanna come for the ride?"

The Mike person carried the tins of paint outside and stowed them in the back of my truck.

I was already aware that he had become a little excited at finding there was some 'fresh meat' in town and he'd hovered about giving me the occasional wink. Of course, Jake had to tell me Mike was in Junior at my High School, so yeah, that will be fun. He was a child to me but clearly he thought I was a bit of all right.

We ditched the truck, thank God, and headed for the heart of town in Emmett's jeep, which was way more impressive than my vehicle.

"Wave to Mikey Boy," my brother said with a laugh. "He seems to have a big smile for you."

I felt Jake stiffen and bristle, and he and Mike exchanged glares.

Oh yay, two kiddies fighting over me already.

I felt like the shiny new toy in Kindergarten.

xxxx

There were a couple of shops in town, and the diner Charlie had mentioned. It screamed Garden Salad and Apple Crumble like Gran used to make.

High dining indeed.

Emmett opened the passenger door and I jumped to the ground. Now _this_ was what I call a real car.

He grinned at my open envy of his wheels.

"Hey, I worked for this bitch. I work for a couple of hours after school ends weekdays, and holidays at the local gym, putting muscles on wimpy bodies. Jake, you should sign up. We could show Isabella how miracles truly are possible with the right workout plan and diet."

Whoa. If Emmett was still at school then no wonder everyone accepted I was seventeen.

Jacob's eyes widened.

"Really? You could bulk me up like you?"

Emmett laughed drily.

"Maybe not quite like me, but I could get you a decent body in a few months if you really devoted yourself to the cause."

He winked.

"It sure appeals to the _ladies._ I have to fight them off with a stick."

I burst out laughing, I was pretty sure he used his stick on them but not to fight them off.

Jake dropped back and whispered something to Emmett while I skipped along looking at the pretty cottages converted into little home businesses. There was even a dress shop, and a hairdresser, which would come in handy because none of us want any blonde roots showing now do we?

I'd look like a skunk if I didn't get regular dye jobs.

The boys caught up with me and I knew Emmett had just signed up another client.

How sweet.

Jacob was willing to bulk up to win my attention over Mike's.

Maybe Mike would sign up as well. I may as well help Emmett line his pockets while I'm here.

Down an alley I had barely noticed was an old garage by the look of it, but as Emmett led us inside, I realised it was actually an Aladdin's Cave.

"Oh My God," I said out loud before I could stop myself.

All around us were the best furnishings ever. My eyes flicked back and forth, from red and blue and yellow see through curtains, to embroidered cushions sized large enough to sit on, to the four poster bed in the middle of the room. It's bedspread was patchwork but every piece of fabric was a different paisley print.

So many colours it almost hurt to look at.

"See anything you want?" Jake asked, looking a little dazed.

"Everything. I want it all," I exclaimed.

"That's what I like to hear," a woman's voice said and I noticed Emmett puff out his chest and strike a pose to maximize his muscular body. "Emmett, introduce me to your friends."

"Hello, Rosie, you are looking awesome as always," my brother cooed. "This is my long lost sister Bella, and her friend Jake. Bella is fixing up her bedroom and as she is a hipster, I thought of your shop."

"Cheers," Rosie replied, holding out a hand to me. "I'm Rosalie Cullen. My mother and I run this business together. Esme does the actual interior design and I source our wares from all around the world. I'm off to India next week, actually. There's so much beautiful handiwork done over there, at a reasonable price, even with Fair Trade. You should come back after that."

"Nope. I know what I want already," I assured her. If I was living as a schoolgirl for a year or maybe longer, then at least I wanted to be happy in my surroundings. And what's money for if not to spend? I have plenty of savings, seeing I never live a normal life that would necessitate me renting an apartment.

In real life I stayed in Marcus' guest house between assignments. He and his wife had no kids so she liked having me around and pretending I was their daughter.

And I want to own some stuff.

My real life means I am very minimalistic, which is not 'me' at all. I like pretty things. And I have to contribute to Fork's' economy after all.

"Okay, that's great. Show me which items have caught your eye."

Clearly the only 'item' here to catch my brother's eye was Rosalie.

He escorted her as I rushed from the hand carved chest of drawers with matching dressing screen and wall mirror, to the gorgeous bright purple velvet chaise lounge, all made with pale wood with a whitewash finish.

And by luck the wood matched that of the four poster bed.

"And I want that quilt, and these curtains, and that throw, and the hanging chair..."

"Bells, I don't think all this will fit in your bedroom," Jacob warned me worriedly.

"No problem. Charlie already suggested we swap bedrooms. His is enormous; it was originally two rooms but as he never needed a four bedroom house he took out a wall. All this will fit in that room, for sure."

Rosalie tallied up the total and adjusted it as I kept adding more things that I couldn't live without and Jake looked freaked.

"This is costing a small fortune," he murmured quietly to only me.

"I have all the birthday money Charlie sent over the years and Mom sold my car for me, and banked the money," I explained. "Anyway I could always dip into my college fund and pay it back when I find a part time job."

That sounded reasonable.

Rosalie beamed at me and handed me an itemised list.

"Okay. Then here's the total.. How would you like to pay?" she asked.

Oh wait. I'm seventeen and don't have a credit card any more.

"Put it on this and my Sis can pay me back later," Emmett suggested, handing over his black card. Okay. It seems at least one of the Swan's has money. Though how he earned it is a worry. Surely part time gym teachers do not pull in a fortune.

I really hope he has nothing to do with the drug dealing in this area.

"When would you like it delivered?" Rose asked. "My brother can lend a hand after three o'clock; we could deliver tonight if you want."

"Actually, I'd rather you held onto it for a few days. I have walls and a ceiling to paint," I told her.

"Come on , Jake. We have to go get started. I want it all finished before I start school next week."

xxxx

I had to order Charlie's new bed online but he took it all in good spirits and slept downstairs on the couch once he saw how awesome his new bedroom looked all painted up, with new blinds and drapes. The room was nowhere as small as it had looked and when Emmett put the new bed together, it fit easily, along with the freestanding wardrobe and dresser with deep drawers.

The bed even had drawers underneath and I packed in the new clothes I had bought for my father.

Just because he lived in Forks and spent most of his life fishing did not mean he had to wear such shoddy clothes around the place.

How was I going to hook him up with a new woman if he dressed like a hobo?

Emmett laughed at the new shirts and dark jeans.

"Charlie won't wear any of this, you realise? He likes his old grey trousers and flannel shirts."

"They smell like fish," I retorted. "Honestly, it's no wonder he hasn't dated in ten years."

My brother sniffed.

"Make that more like eighteen years. Renee was his only girlfriend. That romance ended so badly when she snatched you and disappeared, he's never been game to put himself out there again."

"Well that's just bullshit. Renee is not 'every woman'. There are nice females in the world. My Mom..."

Crap.

My Mom is Renee. My Mom is Renee. Get it right, Stupid.

I shrugged and laughed weakly.

"I forget what I was saying. Too much alcohol has passed these lips and muddled this brain."

Fuck!

Emmett looked really amused.

"Don't worry, Sis, I won't tell Charlie. But you need to watch it. The secret is keeping a balance. A few drinks now and then won't hurt if you eat healthy and workout. I should know. Maybe you should join the gym too."

"Maybe I should. Do you have any customers that aren't schoolage?"

He snorted.

"Isabella Marie Swan, do not tell me you lust over older men. You naughty girl."

"Yeah, well, who knows? Maybe one day I'll find one willing to give me a good spanking."

xxxxx

My room looked amazing.

I was off getting my 'ends trimmed' a few days later, and when I got home, Emmett and Rosalie's brother had installed all my new furniture in my room.

Even my hanging chair was up on a shiny silver hook in the beam that had been exposed by the dividing wall's removal.

Rose herself dropped in while I was flitting about hanging curtains around the bed so it looked like something from an Arabian whorehouse. My actual windows had newly fitted white wooden shutters on the inside, and I marvelled at the paint effect Jake had given them to make the paint look old and half flaked off.

Us hipsters do not go for shiny and new.

We like things a little battered around the edges.

Like my brain cells.

Emmett had invited me down to his bedroom last night to have a few drinks while Charlie was on shift. This confused me somewhat. Did he think I was Isabella, or not? I was bound so tightly I could never ask. If I gave myself away, I'd be out of here so fast my head would spin and that would never be a good thing when it was pounding away like this.

I was trying to remember what we had talked about.

He'd asked me about my life with my Mom and I'd given him the official version but at some point, things had become confused and I knew I'd spilled a few things about my real life in there as well.

He'd kept saying 'that sounds authentic' and now I was wondering if it was a saying he had a habit of using often, or whether he had been helping me construct a better back story for myself, and had only said it when something seemed possible for a seventeen year old to have experienced.

We needed to talk again, but I could not reveal anything; only listen and try to judge what he knew. Or didn't know.

Maybe he knew something about Renee and just accepted she let her daughter do whatever she liked.

It wasn't easy.

Normally when undercover I am a completely fictional person who never existed so I can have been anywhere and done anything, and don't have to colour inside the lines.

If I let something outrageous slip, well who is to know I was out of character?

This time I had boundaries, yet young kids today did stuff we would never have considered.

Plenty of them hooked up with strangers while still at High School and none of their friends judged them for that.

I had to be as non judgemental myself, as I needed their friendship and acceptance and I would never get that if I started lecturing them on the perils of spreading yourself around too far too young, and the consequences. I was seventeen. What did I know or care about consequences?

Rose tapped on the doorframe.

"Hey. Come in. Have you come to make sure I dress this room right?" I asked her.

"Sure. I'm happy to help. I figured you wouldn't want my Mom coming instead and making sure everything had a place and that it was all neat and tidy.

I know young people like chaos and clutter. You have gotten that look down pat."

I was pleased to hear it because my instinct had been to go with tidy and organised and that would be weird for a teen.

She sat down on a red velvet beanbag and untangled the strips of brightly coloured plastic gems hanging off my gypsy chandelier that Emmett had promised to install for me.

When it was done, she held it up and I went to the door and whistled for my brother.

The moment he walked inside I realised she was not here for me. What was holding them back from becoming a couple?

They looked amazing together, with his powerful body and nice black curls, and her statuesque but slim figure, and golden blonde tresses.

They would make beautiful babies.

Emmett hung the light, and I had a brainwave.

"Rose, while you are here, why don't you go have a look in my brother's bedroom and come up with some ideas to make it a little more interesting. It's boring as shit at the moment. He needs some pretty in there."

And she was just the thing.

xxx

**Can anyone tell me a programme I can keep writing in offline? I have to have internet to use Google Docs. Thanks, pm me or tell me in a review, either way, thanks.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: For those who are confused (new readers to my stories? I always write confused plots,lol) The real actual Isabella Swan has very little to do with this story,she will not appear, it's a Bella and Edward pairing as in, it's between Edward and his "Bella", her real name is irrelevant.**

**Oh, and Edward is Rose's brother, I did call her Rosalie Cullen.**

Witsec

Chapter 3

EPOV

The last few days had dragged on interminably and all I had achieved was a pointless phone call to Jay Jenks Private Detective Agency.

I felt like a character in a book from the forties, even calling him.

Of course he hadn't wanted to take on the case.

As he rightly pointed out, there were a lot of women in Washington State and we didn't even know if she lived here, and all he had to go on was a Christian name and a description that may have been a little biased.

I'd shouted at him that all he had to do was go find the most beautiful woman in the world and chances were, he would find Isabella.

He'd argued that his idea of beautiful may well differ to mine. Like, he preferred redheads with hazel eyes, big racks and tall, slender bodies, so he was not going to bring back a tiny brunette with bright blue eyes.

It was strange.

I have never preferred brunettes.

I find brown hair boring, to be honest.

It surprises me that they don't all dye their hair blonde, it's so much prettier, but with Isabella, I wouldn't care if she was bald.

My biggest fear is that I will forget what she looks like and I pull out my cell phone a hundred times a day and stare at the one single photo I took of her.

Somehow I can't give it to Jay Jenks.

It's all I have of her and anyway, you would never find her from this photo.

She's asleep, her mouth settled in a pretty bow shape, her skin tone darkened by the lack of lighting, the red streaks in her hair gone without the sun to highlight them. And her most appealing feature, her beautiful icy clear cornflower eyes are hidden beneath their lids.

It's strange that her eyes are that colour, it's usually paired with platinum blonde hair.

Like my father Carlisle has.

He has the colouring I have always prefered so maybe it's some Freudian thing.

Pale skin, white blonde hair, startling blue eyes.

Of course my Mom's genes had been stronger so I have her auburn hair and green eyes myself but Rosalie did take after Dad, though her hair is more yellow blonde.

Nope.

This picture would not help.

I'm so glad I have it and so angry at myself that I didn't take a hundred photos of her.

I need to do something or I'll spend my life in this room, obsessing about her and I do have a career and a family.

Esme wants me to have dinner with them all tonight and I know they will all start worrying about me the moment they see how restless and perturbed I am, and by now Rosalie will have spilled the beans about my sudden about turn and complete disinterest in Heidi.

And of course, speak of the devil and she will appear.

"What do you want?" I growled impatiently when she knocked on my door. "I thought you never wanted to see me again. Knocking on my door won't help that wish get fulfilled."

Heidi looked shocked. No wonder, really. I'd taken so much shit from this woman no doubt she figured she was my eternal puppetmaster and could just keep pulling my strings and I would dance to her tune.

"Edward? I've been thinking...you are right. We do belong toge.."

"Sorry, not interested," I answered, slipping the key from my keyring and handing it to her. Thank God we had rented an apartment together, and I'd never let her live here in my house with me.

I tried to shut the door but she had placed her foot against the frame and if I forced it, I would possibly break a bone of hers.

My foot tapped in frustration.

"What's got you so wound up? I just want to talk. I mean, three years, Edward. We can't just close the door on that and pretend it never happened. I'm sorry, honestly. I promise I will never cheat on you aga..."

I gave into temptation, kicked her foot out and slammed the door shut.

There are only twenty four hours in a day and I didn't want to waste any talking about the very distant past.

Walking to the sound system, I childishly turned the music up loudly enough to drown her caterwauling out, and checked that I had retrieved all my cds. There was no way I would go back to the apartment if I had left anything behind, but I did want to know if any of my favourites were missing, so I could buy replacements.

They all seemed to be there.

"Hey," a voice yelled as pounding sounded on the sliding glass door that led to my garden.

I grinned to see it was only Rosalie.

"What can I do for you?" I asked as I opened it.

"I see you have sent Heidi off with her tail between her legs. Good for you. Now, I need your body this afternoon. There's this new student in town and she bought up half the shop. I need you to help me deliver everything and set up her bed and so on."

Whatever.

I needed something to do, why not this?

"Who is she? The new student?"

"Charlie Swan's kid. B.. B something...Belinda? Maybe? I was kind of distracted at the time."

"So Emmett has a sister. Is she built like him because that would be unfortunate."

"God no, she's small and scrawny. I don't think they share a parent though. Isn't he adopted? Maybe she is too. She's nothing like him. Blue eyes, blonde hair."

"Oh that's right. Charlie and his wife of two minutes adopted him then she ran off with their baby. I remember Mom telling me that once. Charlie brought him up alone. Nice lady. Adopts a little kid, becomes his new Mommy then leaves two years later after he finally settles down. Stupid woman."

"You don't know the circumstances. Maybe Charlie beat her or something."

I had to laugh.

"The only person Charlie Swan has ever beaten was that fucker who lives on the Res after he put his wife in hospital when he got into a rage when he was drunk. Have you seen the scars on her face? He glassed his own wife."

"I heard she got clawed by a bear," Rosalie replied, disinterest clear in her voice.

"So, isn't Emmett available to help you then?" I queried. I would always be second choice when he was around.

"Yes, he is but she bought the four poster and it will take both of you to handle that."

"Okay, then there is no time like the present. Let's go."

xxxx

Charlie's daughter had different taste to him and Emmett, that was certain. I actually liked all the stuff she had bought, and I happily carried her new acquisitions inside his house and assembled furniture back together all the while feeling like a third wheel as my sister flirted and simpered, laughing at every word Emmett spoke.

He flexed his muscles and danced to her tune, flattering her outlandishly and giving her his full attention.

I don't think he was aware I was right there with them.

Honestly these two need a room.

Talk about sexual tension.

Rose is being a bitch and playing hard to get ; has done for months now, and every time Emmett starts to give up, she pulls something like this and lures him back into her web.

She clearly likes him but she hates his job.

He's the Coach at Forks High and owns a gym as well but my sister is aiming higher. She wants a doctor or a lawyer and let's face it, she will need someone with that sort of income to afford her.

But the rub is, she is fascinated by Emmett regardless.

You want her attention any time and all you have to do is utter his name and she's all ears.

I don't know why she is so determined not to date him; maybe because she knows she'd fall for him completely and have to settle for a lesser lifestyle than what she wants. She'll be 'stuck in this Godforsaken hole' forever. Her own personal nightmare, poor baby. She hasn't figured it out yet. Where you live is so unimportant if you live with your soulmate. What I wouldn't give to swap my problem with hers. She lives in the same town as her One, how bad can it be?

But then, my sister has always demanded perfection in every aspect of her life.

She wastes a lot of energy pushing him away and she likes to say insulting things, like; he works with a lot of sexy young teen girls and who knows what he gets up to with them.

I want to slap her for that.

It is entirely possible to work with a bunch of kids and not see them in any other light. No schoolgirl would turn his head. Like most men our age, he prefers real women, not silly little giggly girls.

I wandered around the room and looked in surprise at the girl's collection of books, waiting to be unpacked from a dozen different boxes.

Not only was I surprised that she liked books so much, but also that she seemed to prefer the classics and even a few novels and non fiction books I'd read in college. She must be one of those kids born in their thirties.

One day she'd graduate, finish college and finally find her place in the world.

I picked up a couple of books on philosophy, and psychiatry and a book of poems the same as the one that never left my bedside table.

She must be years ahead of her peers inside her brain, and quite intelligent if she reads these, and obviously, she does. The pages are bent and dogeared.

I got a good feeling about her and hoped she would be one of my students.

How nice would it be to have someone to discuss the classics with, instead of having to threaten her to read them if she hoped to pass in my English Lit class. It would make such a difference to have even one pupil as fascinated in literature as I was.

Most of the girls I teach are pretty vacuous and only concerned that they own a better brand of shoes than their friends.

The school uniform policy had been introduced in an attempt to stop the richer girls dressing in thousand dollar jeans and acting superior to the less fortunate students but the 'plain black lace up footwear; part was rarely enforced, and we sometimes had girls tripping along in heels high enough to break their necks if they tripped and fell.

They could recite a long list of the most expensive shoe brands and purses but ask them about Jane Austen or Emily Bronte and they'd act confused and ask if I was sure those two girls were actually enrolled in this class.

Imagine a student passionate about Mr Darcy and the Bennets. Someone who knew Pemberley was an estate and not a fashion designer.

I felt quite excited at the prospect that Belinda or whatever her name was would liven up my often one sided discussions about whether or not Heathcliff and Cathy were truly in love with one another. Whether Romeo and Juliet really deserved their reputation as the world's most romantic couple.

I put her books back then noticed she was indeed halfway through Romeo and Juliet, but by the look of the book, she was rereading it for the hundredth time.

I smiled as I read the notes she had made pencilled in the margin.

_But what about Rosaline? Romeo was supposedly madly in love with her five minutes earlier. Why should we believe his love for Juliet was so much stronger and more enduring? It's not like they had to battle with the seven year itch or even remember their first anniversary. How do we know some other prettier girl wouldn't have captured his attention away from Juliet a week later?_

I carefully replaced her books and neatened the pile.

This girl would change things, of that I was sure. Her love might lure some of the others into wanting to read rather than being forced to.

I would sit her next to Angela, the nicest girl in the class.

Going on the clothes laying across the chair, she was blissfully unaware what brands were trending at present.

BPOV

Despite my reservations about going to the bonfire on the beach with Jake and his friends, I was actually having fun. Somehow it felt quite freeing to not have to be sensible and 'act my age'. My inner person was still about eighteen years old and she was having a ball.

Jake's best friends were into kickboxing and wrestling, so we had spent the afternoon watching them try to annihilate one another, and Jake had come off second best in his fight with a much larger and older boy, Sam.

More of a man, actually.

He came over and started chatting to me and it was a nice change from the somewhat childish crap the younger boys talked. They spent all their time posturing and putting one another down and it had become all too 'high school' for me.

And tomorrow I have to attend actual High School.

God I hope there are a group of mature females that I can hang with because although I've researched boy bands as ordered, the kids in them all look about twelve and I'd feel like a sicko even pretending to crush on Harry or Niall.

Maybe schoolyard conversation has matured since I was there, I thought hopefully.

"Hey Bella, want to take home a pet sea snake?" a boy named Paul yelled, flicking a long strand of seaweed across my back.

I shuddered and almost told him to grow the fuck up, then decided I should probably scream and carry on, so I jumped up and ran away, shrieking like a banshee with him hot on my heels.

Jake was there in a heartbeat, appearing from nowhere to crash tackle the boy to the ground.I was a little worried Jake thought Paul had actually scared me and would beat the boy up but luckily they seemed evenly matched and after a few badly aimed blows, both were laughing and clearly had forgotten the reason they'd fought at all.

"Looks like Charlie's here to arrest you, Paul," Embry called out. I looked up at the car park beside the beach and sure enough, there was my father's cruiser slowly easing along, and Charlie was watching the boys' every move.

I was over this whole long day of playing my role so I waved at them all and bolted up to get a lift from my Dad.

"School tomorrow, Bella. You need to get a good nights sleep and be up bright and early in the morning."

Like I could forget the nightmare world that awaited me.

Little did I know just what a complete horror story I was about to enter into.

Fuck my life.

EPOV

Remember the adage,be careful what you wish for?

Here was a perfect example.

I walked into Music 101 Junior year class the first day of the new term and there in the front row sat the girl I hadn't stopped thinking about.

Isabella.

My new pupil.

I'd taken the virginity of, and fallen for, a seventeen year old student.


	4. Chapter 4

Witsec

Chapter 4

BPOV

Fuck me.

All I could see were his emerald green eyes, so full of panic and terror, and probably regret.

"Go introduce yourself," Jessica Stanley urged. She had been appointed as the student to show me around, introduce me to the 'other kids' and generally make sure I found each classroom successfully. "Isn't he just a dreamboat?"

There's a word you never hear now, but it was completely fitting.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of my chair and I stumbled along beside her as she rushed me to the teacher's desk in front of the class.

"Mr Cullen, this is Isabella Swan. She's new here. Mrs Goff put me in charge of her."

I wasn't sure he was breathing.

His skin had paled and his eyes seemed to turn almost black, with, I realised, pure rage.

And there was nothing I could say.

Jessica frowned and looked back at me, then at Edward again.

"Mr Cullen? Are you okay?"

He didn't say a word, just glared at me with such horror that I cringed.

He grabbed the note from Mrs Goff from my hand and stared at it, reading the words out loud, virtually spitting them into the air.

"Isabella Marie Swan. SEVENTEEN years of age." He made it sound like a crime. Like he was announcing I killed puppies and the occasional baby. There was so much venom in his voice that I stepped back away from him.

Jessica looked startled.

"We are Juniors, Mr Cullen. We are all seventeen. Although I do believe I am the oldest and I will turn eighteen first," she said with a smile more suited to a hooker, as she twirled her hair and leaned forward so her breasts were almost fully on display. Subtly, she crossed her arms behind her back so her rack was further emphasized, and half closed her eyes. I almost expected her to burst one of the few remaining buttons on her blouse.

"Sit down Jessica," he ordered loudly, as if speaking to a recalcitrant dog.

Jess looked like she was about to cry.

Edward shoved a battered textbook at me, and I could feel the loathing emitting from his body.

Okay, this appeared to be a rather fucked up situation, but he hated me?

I wished so much that I could just explain.

"Go," he groaned, his voice strangled in his throat. "Please. Just go."

I pulled Jessica back to our desk and we sat down.

What the lesson was about I have no idea.

Edward ordered us to read chapter 6 of our Theory books, and attempted to write something on the board, but he kept making mistakes and in the end he threw the whiteboard marker pen at the door.

Finally the bell sounded and I jumped to my feet, so eager to get out of the classroom.

"Miss Swan, please wait behind," he said, his voice so icy my spine shivered.

I sat down again and he ushered the last two dawdling students out; two boys who were loudly discussing the waves at First Beach, and shut the door firmly but quietly behind them.

Then he turned to face me.

"You are seventeen years old?"

I opened my mouth but had no words.

I was working. The one rule is never tell anyone the truth.

Never blow your cover.

To anyone.

And as he was apparently a teacher here, he was one of the persons of interest to the case.

He glared at me for a long moment.

"Do you have any idea what you have done? What we have done? I could lose my job over this. Forget that you managed to worm your way into my cold, dead heart, Isabella. I could go to prison."

"I'm sorry," I managed to blurt out.

"You are sorry? Yeah. Great. I'm sorry too. How could you have done this to me? All you had to say was 'I'm seventeen by the way, Edward' and nothing would have happened. You thought it fine to trick me into taking your virginity and even worse, you neglected to tell me you were underage."

"Seventeen is of age," I protested.

"To consent to sex with a peer. There's no age where it's legal for a student to have sex with a teacher."

"Well I'm not going to tell anyone," I retorted, shamed and angry yet completely innocent of all charges.

Sort of.

"Do you have any idea how much I loathe myself right now? I assumed you were over twenty one, at least. God, now I see you in uniform, you do look your age.

Well, that's me done. I will lose my career and so I should. I have no choice but to report this to the principal."

Of course.

Mr Banner knew who I was; what I was.

Problem solved.

Sort of.

I stood and hurried toward the door before he could pass me, and ran down the hallway to the Principals Office.

"Isabella?" Mrs Goff asked. "Is something wrong?"

"I need to see Mr Banner now. Right away," I begged.

"Actually, I need to see Mr Banner first," Edward thundered, right on my heels.

"Ladies first," I snarled.

Mrs Goff looked very confused but she nodded and knocked on the door, and walked in, closing it behind her.

"Isabella, let me handle this, I am the one at fault. I will hand in my resignation immediately and maybe, just maybe, none of this has to come out. Can you keep your mouth shut?"

"I said I wasn't going to tell anybody," I quickly replied. "Look, please let me go in first. I think it will be okay."

"How can it be okay? I fucked a student. I'm twenty seven years old, Isabella. You are seventeen. Seventeen going on thirty but that won't save me. How can you be seventeen? What were you doing drinking in a bar? Fake I.D.?"

"Please just trust me and don't tell anyone anything yet," I implored him.

Mrs Goff returned and ushered me inside.

"What's happened?" Mr Banner asked quietly as she shut the door behind her.

"I uh, kind of hooked up with Edward Cullen in Seattle the other night. I had no idea who he was. He now thinks he has to resign to save my reputation and his skin. Can you fix this?"

Mr Banner tapped his pen on the desk.

"Well, this is a tricky one. Legally no teacher can fraternize with a student. But you are not actually a student."

"Yes," I said, grasping at that one small but vital truth. "Okay, how about this? When I hooked up with him, I wasn't registered here yet. So technically I wasn't his student. Surely that is a loophole?"

"I wouldn't want to test it in court, but I guess I can inform Edward that I have no interest in proceeding with an inquiry considering that fact. Okay, it's worth a try. But you understand what that means now?"

"No more fucking my teacher?" I hazarded a guess.

"Correct. No fraternizing with him at all. Someone will notice. Stick with the boys 'your own age' and I'll overlook this mistake."

"I'm really sorry. I never expected to see him again, especially not in front of the classroom. He looks nothing like the teachers I had at school," I grumbled.

Mr Banner called in Mrs Goss and I left the office, closing the door behind me. God knows what cover story he was coming up with to explain this situation to her. Not the truth. She was apparently the last person he would trust with knowing anything about me. To her I was simply Charlie's long lost child.

So he had to come up with some plausible explanation for this drama. Good luck with that.

Edward stepped back as I walked back into the waiting area, as if I was contagious.

"Look this is an unfortunate situation but I'm sure we can work through it," I started.

"Unfortunate?" Edward growled. "Yes, it is indeed unfortunate.

Unfortunate that you allowed this to happen.

Unfortunate that you are so egocentrical that you did not consider the consequences for anyone else but yourself.

You'll be fine. You are the victim here. Ask anyone.

I'm the adult therefore all the fault falls on me.

Forget that you are the one who bought a fake ID and was drinking in a bar.

Forget that all you had to say to Alice was 'not interested', and we would never have met.

Forget that you let me do things, illegal things, to you and you didn't even have the decency to tell me afterwards...

Isabella, if I had known, even after the deed,I could have requested a transfer days ago, and none of this would be an issue. I would have never been your teacher and all it would have been was a moral dilemma.

Sure, it still would be a serious lapse on my part but there'd be no legal consequences.

We both could have pretended it never happened and just stayed away from one another. I could have moved away and you could have lived here with your father, and dated boys your own age and pretended I never existed. You would have never seen me again. You could have saved me."

I tried to find the words to reassure him that it was not the tragedy he imagined, and prove that I would never have put him in this position had I known.

What the fuck had we been thinking?

It was one thing to not disclose names but we could have indulged in a little small talk before we left that bar.

_So, what do you do for a living? Really? A High School teacher? At Forks High? Isn't that just dandy. Well thanks for the drink but I just remembered I need to be somewhere._

I could have called Marcus and asked that Bree replace me. One Isabella is much like the other. And she has actual brown eyes and wouldn't need these lenses.

And she is a natural brunette.

Why the heck didn't he give her the assignment?

I suspected he just wanted to amuse himself by making me act as a seventeen year old.

Dammit.

Bree could have been Isabella Swan.

I could have been her back up, and gotten myself a job as library assistant in Forks Library.

I could have dated Edward, and maybe become his girlfriend, but no, let's not have even the briefest conversation before we fuck one another's brains out because that has ended so well.

Mrs Goff glared at me as if I had drowned her kittens when she walked out.

"You may go in, Mr Cullen.

Alone."

She pushed past me none too gently.

"I think it would be best if you returned to class, Isabella," she said, her voice dripping with distaste and clear loathing.

Edward had closed the door behind him.

It will be okay.

Mr Banner will explain...something.

Edward will ask me to wait after classes are over and arrange for us to meet somewhere and by then I will have informed Marcus that I have to tell him the truth.

If this case is a bust then so be it.

Bree can enrol as someone else.

Emmett's cousin.

Emmett's half sister.

These things happen.

Isabella Swan can rush back to wherever the fuck she came from and live with Mommy again, and I can go home.

Or reinvent myself and laugh when people comment that the new librarian looks just like Isabella Swan who was here so briefly.

Maybe I'm the secret child Renee gave up for adoption because she was fourteen when I was born. Maybe I'm Charlie Swan's other daughter. That could work.

Whatever.

But until Marcus and I hash this out, I am Isabella Swan and I should be in class.

I nodded and headed back down the hallway but as soon as I heard the office door close, I detoured towards where the staff parking area would be and looked around for Edward.

I guessed he was driving the silver Volvo that had just roared out into the road that led to town.

Oh well, I'm sure this will be sorted before anything too bad happens.

We will fix it.

"Bella, have you gotten yourself lost already?" Mike Newton asked, walking up behind me and taking my arm.

"This way. We have Spanish next and there just so happens to be a spare seat beside mine. Lucky, right? Like it was meant to be."

I was so preoccupied I didn't even realise Spanish was not my chosen 'Language Other Than English' on my timetable. I sat through the class completely oblivious to what the heck anyone was saying, my whole mind concerned with Edward; and where he had gone, and what he had done.

The last thing I had meant to do was skip into town and ruin someone's life.

The rules of the game were blend in, make friends, keep a low profile. Become part of the scenery. Don't make waves.

Instead I'd caused a tsunami.

xxxxx

EPOV

I had to laugh as I floored the accelerator and sped along the road that led deep into the forest.

All these years we had branded Emmett paranoid, and all the time he was actually just being sensible. I should have taken a leaf out of his book.

From the moment he started coaching at Forks High, he had covered his ass so carefully we had jumped on it as a way to tease him unmercifully.

Jasper had hacked into the police computer system and every time Emmett contemplated hooking up with any female in any bar, he would ask to see her driver's licence, then excuse himself to use the Men's Room, and call Jasper so he could check the girl's credentials were genuine.

It didn't matter if she was clearly in her mid thirties with a few laughter lines and the odd grey hair; Emmett approached them all as if they were one of his teenaged students trying to seduce him.

Carlisle made jokes about how maybe Emmett should only date residents of the Elderly Care Home, just to be on the safe side.

Heidi had greeted each new girl Emmett brought to sit with us at our regular table in our favourite bar, with "So, Emmett, are you dating this one or just asking for her Mom's number?".

Oh yeah, we were hilarious.

He was so careful Alice quipped if girls were trees he would insist on cutting a limb off and counting the rings before bedding them.

Charlie would book some woman for speeding and make a note to tell his son about it if she was over fifty.

"Got another number for you today, Son. Very nice lady. Right up your street. Bit old for me but she'd suit you just fine."

And how had this 'paranoia' worked for him?

Well, let's see, it wasn't Emmett who had gotten caught out, now was it?

How many times had he told me these days one could never, ever assume anything? Seventeen can appear twenty seven.

The right make-up. the right lighting, the much practised swagger and who knew how old a girl was?

Look at Jessica Stanley.

I'd come across her more than once in various bars where she had no right to be and the first time I'd assumed it was her look alike older sister.

When I said that later, Emmett had high fived himself and informed me Jessica was an only child.

"See Edward? Girls today are tricky little creatures. They grow up so fast even they think of themselves as adults by the time puberty hits. As soon as the boobs grow, they think they know it all and are entitled to everything usually reserved for grownups.

They drink and smoke and sleep around.

You have to always be on your guard.

If you didn't grow up living next door to a girl you meet in a bar, then just assume she is underage and act accordingly until you have proof she isn't jail bait. You never want Charlie Swan chucking you into the slammer, right."

Fuck.

I should be so lucky.

Under these circumstances he'd probably bypass the trial and flick the switch himself.

Dad's car sat in it's usual place in the hospital staff car park, and it gave me an idea. He was always prepared for any emergency; tank always full of gas, suitcase packed with a week or more changes of clothes;a healthy wad of cash in his secret coat pocket.

To think I'd thought him anal as well.

Always expecting the worst.

He looked up in surprise as I strode into his office.

"Edward, what's happened? Are you hurt?"

"Not yet. That's a possibility though, once Chief Swan finds out what I did."

I slumped into the chair facing his desk and ran my hand through my hair.

"I've fucked up, Carlisle. Badly. Why didn't I listen to Emmett, instead of slinging off at him? He was so right. Girls today jump straight from putting their dollies to bed, to luring their teachers to bed instead."

Dad frowned.

"Explain."

A man of few words.

I hated that I was about to shatter every illusion he held dear about me.

"You know Emmett and Jasper have been of the opinion that the quickest way to move on from my latest trainwreck relationship was to hook up with some female and fuck Heidi out of my head? Well, I finally gave in and tried it for myself."

"And it didn't work?" he guessed.

"Oh it worked just fine. But who would imagine wasting three years of my life on a girl who couldn't keep her pants on around other guys would pale into insignificance beside what I did?"

"What did you do, Edward?" he asked too calmly, too quietly.

"I took the virginity of Charlie Swan's seventeen year old daughter," I replied, laying it on the line so he heard the whole shameful truth from the get go.

No hiding behind explanations or excuses.

These were the facts.

"Alice and Jasper met her in a bar in Seattle, and decided she was the one who could cure my ills and I even agreed. She seemed like a nice girl with no agenda. No expectations of a ring or even a follow up phone call. And that was what I needed, at first. Then I spent some time with her out of bed, and one thing led to another.

I started liking her.

I guess I started feeling things I hadn't felt ,well, ever before. Not even with Tanya.

Like this was a beginning to something real and lasting; not a one night deal.

She just seemed somehow right and almost familiar. It's hard to explain. It's never happened to me before but truly, it seemed to last weeks, not hours. I felt like I was meeting my soul mate and in time, we could have something really special.

She seemed reluctant too, to let it go.

She said things were difficult right now, and complicated and she wasn't ready for anything at all but her eyes said otherwise.

She was no happier walking away from me than I was letting her go.

I felt so sure we would find one another again.

Well, I guess I did get that bit right."

I laughed humourlessly.

"Then Rosalie got me to help her install some furniture from the shop into Chief Swan's daughter's bedroom, and I saw all her books and started hoping maybe this student who was clearly intelligent beyond her years would be in my class."

I paused for a moment, remembering what my sister had said.

"Rose said the Swan girl was blonde. I don't get what that was about. She's a brunette. And for some reason she is hiding her beautiful eyes behind a pair of ugly brown contacts.

But that's beside the point.

Today all my wishes came true. I walked into my classroom and there she was. All sweet and innocent and ready to learn whatever I had to teach her.

Naturally I've tendered my resignation but I imagine there will be charges to follow, once Bob Banner realises what happened. The man must be in shock. I guess he figured I was the last man on Earth who would do something like this. He was not making any sense. He kept going on about extenuating circumstances and the fact Isabella hadn't registered at the time and as if that makes any difference.

Once he gets his head on straight he will have no choice but to act. He is a decent man who sticks to the rules, as he should.

Look at how he handled the Peter and Charlotte situation."

Carlisle frowned.

"Peter had an ongoing relationship with a student for two years before anyone knew about it. It was completely wrong," Dad stated. "Charlotte was too young to know her own mind and she trusted Peter as an authority figure. He took advantage of her vulnerability after her father died, and she needed someone's shoulder to cry on.

He should have taken straight to the school nurse the first time she collapsed into his arms."

"But at least Peter has the excuse he fell in love with the girl, and nothing happened until she turned eighteen and graduated and became his TA. She wasn't his student by then."

"Once his student, forever out of bounds," Carlisle reminded me.

"Yes but at least they were in love and just giving in to their mutual desire to be together in a normal man/woman relationship. If Charlotte had worked at the local diner, nobody would have cared that Peter was dating her, and sleeping with her.

They would have been just two consenting adults, like any other."

"But he had been her teacher, Edward and it is the law."

"I know. I'm just saying, what happened between them seemed perfectly reasonable to me. Not like...this.

What I have done."

I didn't dare tell him the entire truth. I was suppressing it from even myself.

Maybe later, sometime in the future when the shock subsided, I would allow myself to think about it. Not yet.

"What are you planning on doing?" Carlisle asked.

"Well, as I said, I tendered my resignation but Bob Banner has refused to accept it. He has given me a week's emergency leave for 'personal reasons' and I really need to get away and spend some time thinking about my future. I'm scared, Dad. If I could be taken in so easily by a seventeen year old, what does that say about me? Even having to acknowledge how attracted I am to her makes me shudder. I've spent years laughing inside at how adult these girls imagine themselves to be and how obviously young and immature they are to us, the real adults. We can see right through their masks to the child underneath the veneer, and I truly never expected to feel anything at all but mild amusement when one or the other let her crush on me show.

I'm used to avoiding adoring gazes across the lunchroom, and throwing away the little notes left on my desk without reading them, because I know girls their age are young and impressionable and fortunately, fickle.

One day you are their dream man, the next they have moved on to some celebrity movie star or boy band member, and they forget they ever fancied you, so it's always best for everyone to never acknowledge you noticed them fantasizing about you in the first place.

And honestly, none of them have ever turned my head, not even for a split second.

Jessica Stanley would be the most aggressive among this year's intake, and all she evokes in me is the desire to slap her and tell her to behave or she will end up in trouble one day. Not all men have morals.

Not all men would spurn her advances just because she's a silly little girl."

Oh wait.

How could I sit in judgement of any man?

I had done exactly what I was belittling them for.

I was one of them; one of the monsters.

Edward Cullen had gone over to the dark side.

"I have to go. It's Monday. Esme's day for cleaning my house, even though I clean it myself every weekend. She will be there and she will want to know what is going on. I can't face telling Mom what I did quite yet. Can I take your car and leave mine for you?"

"Go, Edward. But keep in touch. Esme will always love you, no matter what. She will worry."

"She shouldn't," I growled. "But then, look what I did the moment I was out of town alone...maybe she should in fact worry about me after all."

xxxx

The black BMW ate up the miles and I stopped only to buy coffee or top up the gas tank. I tried to empty my mind of every thought apart from driving.

Naturally, my cell phone interrupted somewhere around the Canadian border. I was unsurprised to hear her voice.

"Edward? Call me crazy but keep having the feeling you are getting closer. Are you coming to visit me?"

I laughed.

Maybe Tanya and I had made a massive mistake when we broke up.

Unlike Heidi, she had never cheated on me, or treated me badly. We had been friends as well as lovers and had given it our best shot. From our high school romance all through college we had seemed like a good fit.

Then we got out in the real world and suddenly it just hadn't seemed like enough.

Her longing for romantic gestures and my inability to remember to provide them had alerted us to the truth.

We were much more suited as friends.

The love we shared was not the kind you built a lifelong commitment on, and in time, we both started to find ourselves drawn to other people; wanting to explore other options.

We talked openly about this and decided to let what we had go, and try a trial separation.

Tanya had played it fast and loose for a few years, but I didn't judge her harshly for that.

Her first romance had been very short lived; once her beau had taken her to his bed he had lost interest and moved on, so I'd been the rebound guy.

All the same, it had felt real enough for many years.

Then after we split up, she made up for her years of monogamy with me, and I'd found myself alone and uninterested in anything resembling a one night stand.

No, I'd enjoyed being part of a couple and wanted the same again, only with the spark that had been missing.

Heidi had appeared to be just what I wanted, initially. Attractive, smart, well traveled, and always able to fit in anywhere with anyone.

My family liked her well enough, though they had no illusions that we would ever marry or anything like that.

We were filling in time and enjoying one another's company but after what seemed like a couple of good enough years, the cracks had shown.

I should have called a halt but I didn't.

It suited me to have her in my life, even if I had always suspected she was not exclusively mine. I hadn't cared about what happened on the many layovers she spent away from me as her job required.

Most likely she spent those nights with that handsome but married pilot she clearly had always carried a torch for.

I know she mumbled his name at night in my bed while she slept.

I know she cut her hair the way he liked it, and ignored my pleas that she let it grow longer.

I know she wore a particular necklace around her neck day and night and never took it off, and it had appeared the first time she flew as part of his crew.

They'd gone to Paris, and some mechanical problem or adverse weather had forced them to stay there a whole week.

When she came back, she was different.

Jumpy.

Too attentative.

Too devoted.

And too attached to her cell phone.

She guarded it like it was the Crown Jewels, and even took it in the bathroom with her.

The signs were all there; the flowers from 'her aunt' who had never been mentioned but was suddenly sending floral arrangements at least twice a month.

The variations to her schedule, where suddenly she did not come home the night the plane landed in Seattle, but slept over due to 'a hangover'; a 'slight cold'; a 'mystery 24 hour bug' that prevented her traveling.

What they got up to when they were away for a night or two, didn't bother me. I wasn't that invested in our relationship myself. I knew it would end one day and it had been convenient to turn a blind eye and pretend she spent those nights innocently in bed alone or out on the town with the crew as she claimed.

I knew deep down she would have jumped at the chance to be with him and she would not have considered the fact she lived with me as any impediment at all, but the fact was, I knew I was also looking around constantly in case anything better came along.

We were a couple because it was convenient to appear so.

My parents were happy that I had someone in my life.

My friends were all in relationships and I did not want to be the third wheel.

My needs were being met and saving me from sleeping around.

My heart was undamaged, as it never loved her anyway.

While she kept her affair discreet, I had turned a blind eye. It was only when her pilot knuckled down and put his efforts into saving his marriage that she revealed her love for him.

She literally lay in my arms and cried all night long.

Over another man.

She was broken, and I was not going to hang around and try and fix her.

It was one thing enduring her little distraction but there was no way I was devoting my life to a woman I did not love, who loved another man. She was willing to settle for me, she made that clear, but I was finally sick and tired of her behaviour.

There was no way her apologies and promises to make things up to me and become a good partner were enough.

And her pretense that it was me she had wanted all along was just insulting.

Had he left his wife and run off with Heidi, all I would have gotten was an empty closet and maybe a short note left on the bed.

I was not going to be her Plan B.

But there was nobody else of interest and she begged me to reconsider.

Maybe Heidi could have changed. Maybe she would behave and put all her energy into making our relationship work, but the thing was, I didn't want it to. And I didn't want her any more. I'd never had all of her, and once it was on offer, it just wasn't enough.

Done is done.

But whereas she instantly became nothing but a girl I used to know, Tanya had always remained my best friend.

And she always knew when I was thinking of calling her.

She would wait impatiently, and if I didn't follow through, she'd call me, demanding to know what was up and why I had decided against talking it through with her.

And she always knew when I was heading her way.

She had some form of radar that alerted her.

I had never managed a surprise visit to her home in Alaska ever. She always saw me coming.

The one time I thought I'd managed it, I had arrived for her birthday and she had appeared to be surprised, but then, when she served dinner it was all of my favourite dishes, and I'd known.

It was strange how connected we were yet we lacked that special spark.

If I had not met Isabella, I'm pretty sure around now I would be thinking of a way to convince Tanya we should give it another try.

But no.

Not now.

Not now that I knew how it could be; how it could feel. How it could create a whole new world from the one everyone else lived in.

I could never settle.

And yet, what was the alternative?

To sit around and wait for a seventeen year old girl to grow up, then take her far away; away from the father who just got her back and would never want to lose her again, just so we could be together and not be looking over our shoulders waiting for me to be arrested?

Like Dad said, it was too late already.

She was my student and that could never be erased, therefore we could never be together again.

And Tanya was the only person who I could talk to about this and know she would never condemn me.

"I'll arrive in time for dinner," I informed her.

"Well isn't it lucky that I happen to be cooking mushroom lasagne," Tanya joked.

"What a coincidence. It was like I knew you would be here to eat it."

xxxx


	5. Chapter 5

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Witsec

Chapter 5

EPOV

"Seriously, Edward. Seventeen?" Tanya sighed. "I mean, I know you were pretty keen on me when I was seventeen, but you were the same age." She poured out two glasses of wine and handed me one.

We were sitting by the open fire on a fluffy bearskin rug, our backs against the chocolate brown leather couch. Tanya's lodge is of the log cabin variety, with thick warm carpet and fireplaces in every room. She might love the majestic scenery that Alaska offers but she does not love the cold.

Somehow I'd choked down dinner but only because I knew I needed to eat, and because Tanya would have been severely alarmed had I refused her mushroom lasagne. We had learned to prepare it in Home Ec back in High School. I'd been her partner in most classes even before we became involved. To be honest, there had been plenty of nights when Heidi was away that I'd sat and thought about Tanya and regretted we couldn't somehow buy what we lacked. Wished that some Good Fairy wave her wand and set our blood racing and our hearts pounding, instead of this quiet, calm friendship we shared.

To come so close to perfect with one's very first girlfriend was both encouraging and heartbreaking. If we had felt that spark, we'd be married by now, and that's saying an awful lot. These days few people look upon marriage as forever, it's more '_you are my favourite person and I want to have kids with you and raise them together but there will be times when I become enthralled in other women and have little flings, as will you with other men. But we won't get jealous or angry and split up. We will allow one another the space and freedom to explore these distractions, knowing we are still a family._

_We will stay together until the kids are grown. That is my vow to you._'

I want more.

I want old fashioned love, and a marriage that is a true commitment between two people who will do everything in their power to remain faithful and committed forever.

Before you laugh and accuse me of sounding like a character from a novel of an earlier century, know this.

I know it is possible.

I have been raised by a couple who have love such as this, and I know in my heart they will always be together.

Carlisle and Esme live for one another.

Of course there have been other people who have not respected the vows my parents made to one another, and have attempted to come between them, but it has never happened.

My parents believe honesty and open frank discussion is the key.

At times over the years when Rose and I were growing up, Dad has come home and discussed some nurse, usually a new member of the staff at Forks Hospital, who is flirting with him and not taking the hint when Carlisle holds his hand up and shows her his wedding band.

Mom will sigh and ask him how persistent she is being and Dad will discuss with her their next move. Like, inviting her home for dinner so she can see my parents as a unit, working together side by side in the kitchen, moving like magnets.

Their house is full of photographic displays of wedding pictures. It's kind of an in joke.

Dad promised Mom he would propose to her every single year so she would always have the option of saying 'No', if he has become too boring or difficult to live with, but that has never happened.

Once she says 'Yes', they plan their annual Reaffirmation of Vows. For the last ten years or so, since Alice became firm friends with my sister, the two of them have made what used to be a low key affair into a major celebration, with a reception following the ceremony just like a real wedding.

The girls and Esme design the dresses together, and Alice is always in charge of the shoes. Us menfolk are the 'handbags' of the day, just there to even up the numbers.

Carlisle makes a handsome bride's accessory and my sister and I are the witnesses, seeing we have witnessed first hand all our lives how much this pair love and adore one another.

Alice started out as a bridesmaid but is now a Matron Of Honor, promoted as she matured. Just so long as she is part of the wedding party and gets a new dress, she is happy.

So, the annoying 'other woman' gets an evening of looking through a very large pile of wedding albums and a guided tour of the house with constant references made to the photos on the walls.

Most of them take the hint and fall in love with my mother.

Very rarely is anyone delusional enough to think they could break the bond.

In the one situation we all remember, one truly persistent nurse just would not give up, so Carlisle had to call the woman in question into his office, with his PA present, and explained to her that her actions were causing him embarrassment and if she did not desist then he would have her transferred to Seattle.

She didn't, so he did.

Mother handles things in a different way.

When she is attending formal gatherings as Carlisle's wife,while he is working the room hitting up benefactors for donations for the hospital, she often encounters middle aged and older men who have been through a divorce or been widowed, who are on the lookout for a replacement companion but she makes it very clear she is not available for that vacancy, and she and Carlisle have a laugh about it later.

There have been many men smitten with my mother.

Sometimes they buy her gifts, or send her flowers.

The flowers always end up at the bedside of some patient in Forks Hospital who has no family or friends of their own to supply such gifts, and the presents are used as prizes in the hospital raffles.

Carlisle has bought some very fine pieces of equipment over the years from the generous gifts given to his wife.

The women in town are always interested to see what's up for grabs in the Christmas raffle, and Esme rather dreads the time coming when men stop showering her with these useful presents.

It's become a tradition amongst the wealthier widowers and divorced men in the area to continuing wooing my mother and thus buy a little something now and then for Esme just to keep the raffles going strong.

Sometimes Mom and Dad will take the benefactor out to dinner with them as a thank you. Not quite the 'date' they hoped for, but all that is on offer.

It's a harmless custom and it means every man who has nobody to buy a gift for can always buy one for my mother, knowing it will be graciously accepted and put to good use.

The women who win these various pieces of jewellery and such take great pride in showing off their acquisitions and telling the story about where it came from, who bought it.

It's common to hear "Did you see Suzanne wore that diamond bracelet , from Esme's 2009 Christmas, to dinner last week?" "Did you see the bride wore the tiara from Esme's 2010 Christmas?".

Rich men always like buying pretty things for pretty women and this way they can do so in a way that helps the whole community.

Dad is never even slightly jealous that so many other men adore his wife because he trusts her completely and she deserves his trust.

This is what I want.

A wife who could walk through the door dripping in diamonds from other men and never cause my heart a moment's doubt or panic.

I want a woman in my bed who would not ever long to be in a different set of arms.

I want a woman who is all mine, for now and forever.

A woman who won't be always keeping open her option to upgrade if someone better comes along.

A woman who will bear my children and stick around to raise them with me in the same house, and still be there to share my grandchildren when we are old and grey, sitting in our rockers on the front porch, reading them something from an old traditional fairy tale book.

Books remind me of Bella and I sigh out loud.

"Poor Edward. You have it bad."

"Can I tell you the worst part, Tanya?" I ask, unnecessarily.

She smiles and nods, taking my hand between hers and kissing my knuckles.

"I still want her. Knowing the truth hasn't changed anything. I know it's wrong and bad and unacceptable but if she walked through that door right now I would wrap her in my arms and kiss her for the longest time and take her to your guestroom, and not appear until we were forced to seek nourishment.

I would love her and cherish her and to Hell with the law.

I would take her away and break her father's heart and leave my own family behind to be with her. I don't know where we'd go or what we would do to pay our way but it wouldn't matter.

You need to make me see sense. For her sake.

She deserves to experience everything every other seventeen year old girl does. She has to find a boyfriend her own age who can take her to school dances and Prom.

By the time I leave, I have to have the strength to stay away from her.

Should I ask to be transferred to another school? Maybe I could move here. This town has that excellent boy's boarding school. No girls allowed.

We could share a house, right? I wouldn't cramp your style. You can keep dating or whatever you do these days and I would just occupy a guest room, and go to work, and in my spare time I could learn to ski or something."

Tanya laughed.

It had not escaped my notice that she always jogged past the sports field attached to the boy's boarding school, just to show off her trim body to the boarders and possibly to check out the older boys for her own amusement.

I have no idea if she has ever entertained any of them, but society would not judge her as harshly as it will judge me.

Eighteen year old boys would be envied for catching Tanya's eye.

And she would not feel the slightest guilt if they wanted to play.

"Edward, are you absolutely sure she is seventeen? It's so unlike you to make such a massive mistake. You have always been able to size up anyone and estimate their age really accurately.

Remember when that new dentist moved to Forks and everyone thought she was in her thirties? The first time you saw her, you said 'Wow. What an amazing facelift. Anyone would think she was in her thirties, not just turned fifty.' and Jasper pulled her driver's license to prove you wrong, and you were spot on. It was like a week after her fiftieth birthday. Remember, we were going to hook her up with Emmett?"

We both laughed, and I put my arm around her shoulder and kissed her head. I am so glad I have Tanya. Nobody else could make me laugh at a time like this.

"I wish I was wrong. I saw her birth certificate myself. Believe me, one tiny part of me was denying the evidence and begging that she had spent eight years in a coma and was back at school to finish where she left off... But I saw it with my own eyes. Isabella is seventeen."

"Damn. I was hoping she may have been kept back a few times and should have graduated already had her parents not taken her out of school to travel around the world or hike through the Himalayas or something."

"No such luck," I grimaced.

The evening slowly passed and we shared bottle after bottle of rather delicious wine until the clock reminded us we should be asleep.

I was pretty comfortable right here, and Tanya was curled up in front of the fire, so I lay down beside her.

She edged over closer and stroked my face and without thinking, I pulled back.

Immediately I felt sorry and ashamed, because we had always touched one another in affection. I wasn't suddenly reserved for only Bella's hands.

I knew I'd hurt Tanya's feelings, so I kissed her cheek.

"Sorry. I'm just too wound up to think straight."

I knew I had given her mixed messages in the past.

Once, when Heidi was away on yet another prolonged layover, and Tanya had called me in the middle of the long lonely night, alcohol had clouded my judgement and when she had asked me if we had ever had a song of our own, Id replied I couldn't remember but my song for her then was 'Lips Of An Angel" by Hinder, and I'd sing it to her over the phone.

"_Well my girl's in_

_the next room_

_Sometimes I wish she was you_

_I guess we never really moved on"..._

In a way it was true.

I had missed the way Tanya and I always had time for one another, and she would never have cheated on me.

But all the same, even then I knew there was no going back because starting again and trying to take up where we had left off would not change anything.

We'd still lack that certain something that came along once in your lifetime.

Just because she had been better for me than Heidi, it still didn't make her right, or my 'One'.

It wasn't just knowing Bella was out of bounds, it was also the knowledge I would probably never feel that connection again with anyone else.

I was mourning.

And without my friend here I'd have been in a very dark place, angsting all alone.

I needed her like I'd never needed a friend before.

I had to stay clear headed and not push her away.

It wasn't her fault she wasn't Bella, or that we had been so much less than what we had both wanted us to be.

A few more glasses of wine and I was curled up beside her, our hands touching. We were both a little drunk. Maybe that loosened my tongue and lowered my defences.

Tanya rubbed my back.

" Poor Edward. I expect you will live the rest of your life with regret, knowing you as I do. If only you could turn the clock back and undo..." she started to say.

"Tanya. I'm glad I can't. How sick is that? I'm glad it happened. I'm glad I met her and made love to her and if I lose my career, then it was a fair exchange, because she and I were awesome together. You have no idea how good it was. Like she was made for me and I for her. Like puzzle pieces; like two halves of the one entity; like those pendants that you give one half of the heart to your love and keep the other and only your two pieces fit exactly back together.

It was like nothing, nobody, I have ever been with before.

I wished I'd waited for her, Tanya. Can you imagine that? The only regret I have is that I couldn't give her my virginity like she gave me hers.

I would give anything to be allowed to wait for her. I'm considering asking Charlie Swan to seriously see me as a future son-in-law, if Isabella ever speaks to me again after the rude way I spoke to her, that is."

"I guess that depends on how much she likes you."

I shrugged.

"Maybe it was one sided. Maybe that night and the next day meant more to me than it did to her.

Maybe she truly did just need someone to deflower her."

"She did walk away," Tanya pointed out. "It might be sensible to just draw a line under it and put it down to experience. There are plenty of women in this world. Plenty of women who are not seventeen and not your student."

"I know, and so far I have never met one who touched my heart like she did. I have looked, you know. I have dated. I didn't go straight from you to Heidi, there were others. Not that they meant anything to me."

"But meaningless sex is still fun, right?" she laughed.

"I can't tell you. Dating doesn't automatically mean sleeping with the person, not in my world. I prefer to be in a relationship first.

Huh!"

I snorted.

"Actually, who'd have thought the girl who meant the most to me would be the one I broke that rule with? God, I just want her back."

Maybe there was a way...

What if I let the Headmaster overlook my lapse. It wouldn't be right, but it would give us a chance. Any chance was worth taking.

"Look, if Bob isn't going to pursue the matter, then we can all pretend it never happened, right? So, if it never happened, then what I need to do is get her out of my classes, and never be her teacher, and then, one day, after she graduates...and after she does college..."

"And in the mean time, you will do what? Get yourself a friend with benefits? Someone to tide you over until you and she can be together as a couple?

Keep talking, I could be interested. It's not like we didn't click in the bedroom."

I stared at her, shocked.

"Tanya, I would never cheat on Bella. Never. No matter what. It's only sex. I can wait. I'd willingly wait for her."

"Fuck. How the Hell did I let you slip away again?" she sighed heavily.

BPOV

Edward still had not returned by the end of the school day so I accepted an invitation to go with a group of kids to check out the waves at First Beach.

Mike Newton was obviously going to be a problem. He was already doing my head in. If he made one more attempt to slide his arm around my shoulders or waist I may well snap his bones.

And when I went off with a group of girls to hike through the forest to the next beach, where there were a group of rockpools, Jessica pulled me aside and virtually demanded to know what my intentions were toward her beau.

"Absolutely nothing. Zero interest," I replied.

She didn't believe me.

"Okay, I know he's super hot and the best, ah, buddy in the class but I saw him first. He and I have an arrangement and I don't share, Bella."

"Hey Jessica, he's all yours. I am not looking for a fuckbuddy," I assured her. And even if I was, it wouldn't be the infantile pale and pimply Mike.

There was a reason I hadn't had any problem resisting the advances of seventeen year old boys when I was seventeen myself. They were just juvenile, self obsessed and creepy. If I felt that way back then, then it stood to reason time would only make me less tolerant of them.

I think I've always been nearer thirty in my head and so I waited until I was old enough to find a guy near that age to be my first.

And that had worked so well. I mean, it had worked amazingly well.

Except for the whole him being my teacher part.

If only he was a doctor or lawyer or barman. We could sneak around together, and have wonderful sex and spend all night long kissing in my four poster bed and he could climb out the window in the early morning...

Shit.

Lauren Mallory was doing just that scenario with the twenty six year old chef guy from the diner.

Seventeen year old girls behaved that way these days.

Nobody would even care, probably.

So long as nobody ratted me out to Charlie, then what the fuck, right?

How could Edward have the one profession that meant we were so wrong to be together?

It wasn't fair.

I sat beside a rockpool and stirred the water with a small bleached twig, and got lost inside my head. This was seriously messing with my buzz. It had still been going strong, just kept fuelled by memories.

Every single night, in my dreams, Edward and I met again, same bar, same outcome. Just like Groundhog Day.

Over and over, night after night, and by morning I woke up with my heart bursting and all I could think about was him, and his green eyes and his amazing hair... and his fingers...

And now, that's all it would ever be.

A memory.

A dream.

How had this happened?

Did the Universe truly despise me this much?

How could Edward hate me so much after what we had gone through together? Hadn't he meant the words he had said to me, about wishing we could see one another again and maybe date?

Okay he was under the mistaken illusion I was a teenager but surely plenty of people fell in love with age inappropriate soulmates.

He couldn't even discuss a strategy with me, even though Mr Banner had given him an out, and agreed to sweep the whole disaster under the rug?

Clearly that twenty four hours had meant more to me than it had to him.

But no matter, we needed to talk.

I walked back a little behind the others and was totally unprepared when Mike jumped out from behind a tree in the thickest part of the forest. It was dark, and I jumped in fright as he grabbed my shoulders and slid his lips over mine.

I may have overreacted.

I pushed him away and spat onto the ground.

"You...you ...stupid little imbecile. Do you have any idea what you just did?" I wailed.

"Um, kissed you?" Mike replied from the ground where he had landed squarely on his ass.

"But he was the last one to kiss me and I wanted to keep it that way," I sobbed.

If Mike had erased the dream, then I had nothing at all.

xxxx

The next day, Edward was a no show.

And the next day and the next.

I had decided to confront him and demand he listen to me but that was kind of hard to do when he didn't come to school.

I started to panic.

What if he'd left, like, really gone?

What if he never came back?

Bob Banner assured me Edward had taken just the one week off so he would be back next Monday, but it seemed like forever away.

I forgot all about my assignment. For all I cared every teacher could be giving out bags of crack to the students in every lesson. I wouldn't notice.

Marcus refused to give me permission to explain everything to Edward but when I started threatening to resign, he reluctantly agreed that I could give the man a few hints and if he filled in the gaps and guessed the whole story himself, so be it.

Edward was hardly going to start warning his fellow teachers about a sting happening here, surely. He seemed to be the type of man who would welcome the drug dealer being outed and arrested.

Bob told me little snippets about how Edward was always putting his students first, thus explaining why he had reacted as badly as he had to the sight of me sitting in his classroom.

The main concern Bob had was that Edward would martyr himself and go straight to the powers that be with his confession of guilt, but surely any sane man would gladly accept the principals offer to just let this go.

As if it never happened.

My classes kept me occupied and I even found some of the subjects interesting though I never returned to Spanish class. That was a challenge too far.

Anyway, the way Mike was avoiding me I am pretty sure that seat beside his was now no longer available.

Naturally Charlie picked up on the tension in the air at home.

"So, what's up? Any of these yahoo's giving you grief?"

"no, not at all. I can handle them," I'd assured him.

"But it is man trouble?"

"Seriously, we are going to talk about boys?" I'd laughed.

"Probably not," he had agreed. "What's on the menu tonight?"

So easy to distract.

I'd done some grocery shopping the second day after I moved in seeing it seemed the men in the house really did eat out all the time, but I was pretty sure the cupboards were once again bare. Yesterday there had been a few random vegetables ripe in the vegie patch and a sole packet of frozen meat in the freezer so I'd made a massive pot of stew, so really I could delay the shopping until tomorrow and serve the leftovers tonight.

That would be handy seeing I had somewhere to be at seven pm.

My cooking skills were okay, but they could do with improvement so when Angela told me about an evening class being held at a local residents house, I had enrolled along with her.

We had our first lesson tonight, so I could just reheat and serve the stew to my father and brother, and eat after the class, seeing we got to prepare something to bring home every lesson.

Tonight was some Italian dish.

I wasn't sure if Charlie was adventurous to even try Italian food but Emmett ate anything and everything so even if I didn't like the lasagne, it would not go to waste.

When I got home from school, I could smell the familiar aroma of stew in the air and immediately knew yes, I would need to shop because my brother had helped himself to an afternoon snack, and that meant no leftovers left over.

He grinned at me , sitting there at the kitchen table, wiping a slice of bread around the inside of the pot.

"You are an amazing cook but there wasn't much here so I guess I must have eaten it all," he explained, shrugging his shoulders.

"Wonderful, Emmett. Now I have to grocery shop, cook dinner for you and Charlie, do my homework plus be at Esme's house by seven. Thanks for making my day even more stressful."

"Esme's house? Esme is holding cooking lessons again?" he asked, looking way too interested.

"Why? Is she a friend? Does she let you eat her demonstrator meal?" I snarked.

"I was thinking of going to her class myself. How did you enrol?" he inquired.

"Really? You don't just eat? You cook?" I said in surprise.

"I could cook, if I knew how," he answered.

"Then by all means come along and learn how because you really are not ever going to learn those skills from Charlie. I can't believe the man cannot cook eggs, even. That's ridiculous."

"I wonder if Esme has an assistant?" he mused.

Oh right.

Esme.

Rosalie's mom.

Now I understood.

xxxx


	6. Chapter 6

Witsec

Chapter 6

EPOV

Those schoolgirl days

Of telling tales and biting nails are gone

But in my mind

I know they will still live on and on

But how do you thank someone

Who has taken you from crayons to perfume?

Oh, it isn't easy but I'll try

If you wanted the sky

I would write across the sky in letters

That would soar a thousand feet high

To sir, with love

The time has come

For closing books and long last looks must end

And as I leave

I know that I am leaving my best friend

A friend who taught me right from wrong

And weak from strong

That's a lot to learn

What can I give you in return?

Oh, if you wanted the moon

I would try to make a start

But I, would rather you let me give my heart

To sir, with love

...

The moment I opened my eyes I knew whatever I had said last night had seriously pissed off Tanya.

The house echoed with Lulu singing to her teacher, and I realised my pain was now a weapon Tanya was using to have her revenge.

I shook my head and tried to recall what I had said.

Of course.

I'd raved on about how good the sex with Bella had been and pretty much implied sex with Tanya had been forgettable.

Shit.

Worse than that, I seemed to remember saying I regretted ever having sex with anyone else before Bella and guess who had been my first?

Tanya herself.

Maybe I should just leave.

My head disagreed when I attempted to lift it from the pillow.

Hazy memories of a pile of empty wine bottles and, fuck, did we do shots?

I seem to remember playing some stupid game, and losing...

I froze as I realised the game.

It was one Tanya had invented in college and it involved forfeits...if you got the answer wrong or refused to answer truthfully, you had to drink a shot and remove a piece of clothing, and that garment was chosen by your opponent.

Back in the day, Tanya always chose for me to lose my boxers first, which necessitated me taking off my jeans to remove said boxers, and back then that was usually where the game was abandoned due to other distractions.

I tentatively raised the bedclothes and sighed.

Well, I was naked but somehow I was also in bed alone, something Tanya had never let happen before when she was winning.

Maybe she was turning over a new leaf and respecting my decision to remain celibate until something could be worked out between Bella and me.

Or maybe she had made a move and I'd been too drunk to follow through with what she had asked for. That seemed the more likely of the two. Tanya's middle name was Determination.

My door swung open just as I managed to sit upright. I was holding my head gingerly and begging my stomach to endure the dizziness without throwing up.

"Good morning Edward," she said brightly, walking into the room and placing a plate of particularly vile smelling eggs and bacon onto the table beside the bed.

I just made it to the bathroom in time, before the retching took over.

xxxx

This was turning into a long week.

Every day I awoke to the melody of another song, chosen to wound my heart.

Today was particularly painful.

Young girl, get out of my mind

My love for you is way out of line

Better run, girl

You're much too young, girl

With all the charms of a woman

You've kept the secret of your youth

You led me to believe

You're old enough

To give me Love

And now it hurts to know the truth

"Tanya, for pity's sake," I yelled, getting up to slam my bedroom door closed.

She was relentless and she was trying my patience.

So far she had refused to tell me just how that first night ended.

She'd dropped hints and implied all sorts of shenanigans that I was pretty sure I would not have been capable of performing, in the state I was in.

It didn't stop her baiting me, and walking around with a smug look on her face.

Just to drive me completely insane, when either of her sisters dropped in, she would loudly tell them how happy she was 'since the drought broke', and they'd all laugh and snigger while looking my way.

I am pretty darn sure by now I can tell if I have had sex no matter how inebriated, and I was quietly confident Tanya was just yanking my chain.

This morning she had been out early, and the aroma of freshly baked goods drifted up to my room, beckoning me to get up.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater and followed the alluring scent to the kitchen.

Tanya was standing at the table with her back to me, taking something for a white paper bag.

She turned guiltily when she heard me approaching, and I saw the Early Pregnancy detection kit in her hand.

"Oh very funny," I smirked, reaching for one of the pastries she had set out on a plate.

"You don't think this is a joke too far?"

"Edward, believe it or not, the whole world doesn't revolve around you. I do have a life, " she snapped.

I froze.

"Tanya, we didn't...do...anything, right? This is all part of the 'let's torture Edward Week program? It's just a prop?"

She looked blankly at me.

"Oh. Oh, no, this is nothing to do with you, and of course we didn't...believe me, if we had there would be no doubts in your mind. You would remember it as the best night of your life.

This is much more serious. Real life, and all that crap."

"Who is the lucky guy?" I asked. Nobody had been visiting while I was here, and Tanya had only been away from the house her usual work hours. She worked with her brother-in-law, Garrett, and her younger sister Kate, though Kate travelled a lot and left Tanya and her husband holding down the fort.

For a brief moment I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Nope.

She would never do that, not to her own sister.

All three Denali girls had competed for Garrett's attention but he had dated them all before choosing Kate.

Okay, I had been surprised, as I thought he and Tanya were a natural couple. With him, she seemed to have the missing ingredient we had lacked together.

"Never you mind. It's probably nothing. Just an imbalance of hormones or something."

I put the half eaten pastry down again and brushed the crumbs from my hands.

"Maybe you should go do the test and then you will know for sure that it's a false alarm," I suggested.

She nodded and left the room.

I poured myself a coffee and glanced at the clock as I sat down at the table.

The next few minutes could be a major turning point in Tanya's life.

When she came back there was no need for words. Her impossibly pale face told the whole story.

Right now Tanya needed a friend as much as I did.

"What am I going to do, Edward?" she whispered hoarsely. "This will ruin everything. It will blow the family apart."

"What exactly are we talking about?" I questioned as I took her shaking body into my arms.

"It was just the once. Just one night. Kate can never know. We both regretted it immediately."

"I'm not the one you should be talking to," I replied. "You and Garrett need to discuss this together."

She shook her head.

"I'm not going to tell him. I can't tell anyone. Not ever."

"Is there anyone else who could possibly be the father?" I asked her quietly. I wasn't judging, just hoping there was a second candidate who may be willing to step up and gamble that the baby was his.

"You are the only male who has been anywhere near me, literally. I mean, we haven't done anything, but..."

"Everyone will assume we did when this becomes obvious." I concluded for her.

"Edward, please. If you have any feelings left for me at all, let them think this is yours. I will 'discover' the pregnancy in a month or so, and Kate and Irina will assume..."

Maybe it wasn't such a terrible deception, if it meant the sisters would be able to all continue living here in this little snowy town together.

There was little shame attached to being a single mother these days, and if it would give Tanya an out, then where was the harm? We both knew the truth and in time, hopefully, she would find the courage to tell her child who really fathered him.

Sometime in the distant future.

If Garrett had slipped once, who knows? Maybe he will make a habit of it, and if he gets caught out with some other woman, he and Kate will break up anyway, then Tanya may be able to speak the truth.

And there was the unavoidable reality that Bella and I may never be a couple anyway.

This could be my chance to have a family of sorts, with my second best girl.

It might be an option I was willing to leave open.

"I need to go home and think carefully about this," I told her honestly. "Don't tell anyone anything for now. If nothing else, you can count on my support as a friend. I promise you that."

I needed to seriously consider my options.

Sitting around waiting for a seventeen year old girl who may change her mind about me anyway as she gets older was a plan most likely doomed to failure. If she even felt the same way as I did.

I had no clue about that, not really.

We had both said things but as she pointed out, how real were those feelings? Was it just a reaction to what we had done together, like Bella had said at the time?

How well did I know Bella Swan anyway?

I knew less about her than virtually anyone else in my life. And yet I'd pretty much decided she was the one for me and decided to try to get into a position where I could marry her already.

Was that even normal?

Marriage was a massive commitment, to me.

It wasn't something to do lightly.

We had to be sure it had a good chance of lasting the distance.

And did Bella believe as I did?

Maybe she wasn't a fan of matrimony.

We had barely discussed anything important.

What if we sat down and really talked, and the attraction wasn't as strong or as real as I imagined? What if the Bella in my head was a very different creature to the real, flesh and blood Bella Swan?

She had entered my life when I desperately needed a way to break free from all the lingering confused emotions that Heidi had left behind in my head, and Bella had seemed like a breath of fresh air, but it had been twenty four hours filled with excitement and anticipation and,let's face it, some pretty good sex.

I wasn't a seventeen year old schoolboy, though I had been swept up like one.

Whether or not the emotions I'd felt were real remained to be tested.

"Okay, I hate to leave you like this, but the sooner I get home, the sooner I can figure things out. Just stay calm and don't do anything reckless, and one way or another, I will be back soon. I promise."

BPOV

"Bella! Hi. You made it," Angela said happily, rushing to my side as Emmett and I alighted from his awesome jeep. Then she paused and looked at my brother.

Emmett did look intimidating but once you got to know him, he was just a big teddy bear.

"Emm, you know Angela. right?"

"Sure. She's our star player in Junior netball," he replied.

She blushed.

"HI Coach Swan," she replied.

I snorted.

It just sounded weird.

I'd originally thought Emmett was a Senior student but I had probably been judging him on his actions rather than on his looks. Living with him was like sharing a house with a combination of toddler and pubescent teen boy.

Last night I'd been woken up at around two am by the sound of Emmett and some of his friends playing basketball in the loungeroom, all under the influence of hopefully just alcohol.

Charlie had been on shift and this type of insanity was apparently pretty much the norm when he was out.

I'd stayed safely upstairs and just watched as drunken men tried to toss a ball through a hoop fashioned from a wire coathanger from the dry cleaning I'd collected.

Fortunately the television was located in the back media room so it didn't come to grief but one couch had been tipped over and various small side tables had met their demise.

I always wondered what it would be like to live in a frat house. I guess now I know.

I took Emmett's keys from him and zipped them inside my purse. He was not whisking Rosalie away and leaving me with no way to get home later, if things went the way he was no doubt hoping.

The house in front of us was pretty amazing and I was surprised that anyone with enough money to build a mansion like this had chosen Forks of all places, to settle down.

The front door opened and I caught my breath.

Wow.

Angela giggled.

"Yeah. That's Dr Cullen. Carlisle, as I call him in my dreams. Esme is such a lucky woman."

"Mmm," I sighed. Then it hit me.

"Cullen? Like, Edward Cullen? Are they..."

"His parents. Now you can see where he inherited all the hotness from," she whispered, glancing up at Emmett, but my brother was oblivious to this schoolgirl crushing. He was striding across to where Rosalie had just appeared.

She smiled at him, and I shook my head.

So, Rosalie was Edward's sister and Carlisle and Esme were his parents.

I died a little inside as I realised there was no way a girl like me would ever fit into a family like this. Esme had come outside and was standing beside her God..I mean, her husband, and I saw where Edward got his coloring from.

She had the same beautiful golden auburn hair, and emerald green eyes, and pale skin as he did.

Looking at her brought home the same feeling of awe as I'd felt the first time I saw her son.

How did people this attractive come to be?

Rosalie was more like her father.

Same blue eyes, though her blonde hair was several shades darker than his. That's not to say it was any less impressive. With her perfect mouth and peaches and cream complexion, she really did look like a movie star. Or a beauty queen.

Wow.

I glanced at Emmett and wondered if he was pretty enough to play in their gene pool or whether the reason for Rosalie's reluctance to date him was deeper than he assumed.

Maybe it was more than his career.

Maybe she wanted someone more beautiful.

I mean, Emmett's a good looking hunk of manmeat but he isn't in the same stratosphere as the Cullens.

Feeling somewhat deflated as reality caught up with me, I let Angela lead me inside to Castle Cullen, and held out my hand as she introduced me to the royal family.

xxxx

Dr Cullen disappeared as soon as all the introductions were done, though it seemed he knew most of Esme's clients already. They were both very gracious to me and it made me feel slightly awkward and maybe a little guilty.

Like if they knew what I had done, maybe my reception would have been much different.

I was, after all, the hook up their son had in a Seattle Bar.

I wasn't the girl he took home to meet his parents.

Maybe Esme would have decided her class was already fully booked and rejected my application if she knew.

I decided to keep a low profile and hopefully melt into the background.

The kitchen was amazing, and I forgot everything for a while as my eyes greedily drank in all the shiny new appliances.

My God, even Emmett would be able to throw together something delicious with all these machines to work with.

"Isabella?" said a somewhat familiar voice, and my head jerked up.

"Alice," I said happily before realising...

"Um. Hi Alice. It's not what you think. I'm not stalking Edward or anything. I didn't realise Esme was his Mom or Rosalie was his sister..."

"Why would you?" she replied, taking my arm and directing me away from where the others had gathered, into a hallway and then a sunny breakfast room with windows that covered more than half the walls.

"So, what is going on? What are you doing here?"

I shrugged.

"I'm learning to improve my cooking skills. Honestly. That's all. I can drop out and make up some excuse not to attend in future," I assured her.

"Why? Don't you like us?" she asked with a grin.

"Has Edward told you anything? About me? Mentioned my name?" I quizzed her.

She tapped on the tabletop with her tiny but perfectly manicured fingers.

"Edward is away at the moment. He's visiting his ex. Well, technically, Tanya is his ex ex. They are still great friends and whenever one of them needs the other, off he goes. It's kind of weird, they do this mental telepathy thing half the time and don't even use anything as normal as a telephone.

But no, he hasn't mentioned anything to me.

I bet he told Jasper everything.

Honestly.

Men.

I've seen the two of them with their heads together looking like they were talking about serious issues but will Jasper tell me anything? Nope. I swear..."

I had forgotten how quickly Alice spoke.

"but when he sent us home without him, I said to Jas, see, they like one another. They clicked. Just wait and see. Before you know it, he will be so into her he won't even remember Heidi, and they will have beautiful babies together, with his hair and her blue...

Bella, why are you wearing contact lenses?"

"Astigmatism," replied, hoping that was a reason to wear them. What would I know?

"But surely they make clear ones so your eyes don't have to look all browny and dull?"

"Alice, it's kind of important that nobody else knows I have hidden my eye colour, okay? I can't explain but for reasons hopefully I can disclose to you one day.."

"Tell me now. I can keep a secret. Well, if I really concentrate and remember it is a secret, then nothing would make me tell. But then, I did tell everyone that thing about...maybe you had better not tell me."

"Right. So, where did you say Tanya lived? In this town?"

"Oh no. She lives in Alaska. She was born there then her family moved to Forks so the girls could attend school, then they moved back when the youngest went off to college, and Edward and Tanya were a couple for absolutely ages. Years. High School, college. Jas and I thought they would beat us and get married right out of college but instead they broke up. I sure didn't see that coming. They were so gorgeous together. Look."

She jumped up and lifted down a framed photo from a group on the wall that I hadn't even noticed.

My stomach plunged even lower than before.

I was right.

The Cullens did not choose their partners from the regular melting pot. They stuck with people as beautiful as they were.

Tanya's hair was that colour that defies a title. Maybe snow white. And so pretty. The kind of blonde that us lesser blondes aspire to be. And we go to beauticians and have them streak bits of platinum through our uninspiring locks but we never manage to end up looking quite like this.

It's easier being a brunette.

Brown is brown.

Nobody has any expectations of brown.

Tanya's lips looked to be free of makeup, yet were the most alluring shade of pink that only occurs in nature, not cosmetics.

And she had bright blue eyes that looked rather like mine.

I wondered if my eyes had reminded him of hers?

Lets be honest, that was the only attribute we shared.

Tanya looked like the Princess that belonged in this family, in a house similar to this one, and I was sure there would be a place in it for the likes of me.

Maybe as scullery maid.

"I was so sorry they didn't pop out a baby or two before they split up. Imagine what their kids would look like. And they never explained why they broke up, to anyone. Edward said some stuff about it not being perfect between them because he wasn't romantic enough but I always say, what about the female partner being romantic first and setting an example and then maybe some of these 'unromantic' men would take the hint and reciprocate. And anyway, what is romance anyway? I mean, if your husband comes home after a hard day in the office and makes you a nice cup of coffee, isn't that romantic? If he unloads the dishwasher or changes a diaper or two now and then, isn't that more meaningful than buying a bunch of flowers? It's not like they grow them themselves, they just open their wallets. I mean, how romantic is that anyway? Or they bring you a box of chocolates and proceed to eat all the best ones themselves so it's not you they really bought them for..."

I tuned out and stared at the perfectly matched couple in the photo.

If I was a casting agent and had been told to find the best male lead actor and the most beautiful female star to play a romantic couple, then I would get major props for choosing these two.

I wondered if he had run back to her when he realised she really had been the best thing in his life, ever? Maybe he had used me for comparison, and realised he was slumming it a little, and he had gone back to claim the woman he really should be with.

I wouldn't blame him at all.

They were an obvious couple.

And as Alice said, their children would be stunning.

Mine?

My children would be kind of ordinary.

xxxx

I handed the picture back to Alice, and stood up.

"I should go. I have so much I need to do and to tell you the truth, I feel a little off."

"It might be that flu that is doing the rounds. Jas's boss has been sick all week and I said to him, don't you be bringing any germs home with you.."

"Just point me in the direction of the nearest door. I'm sure Emmett will learn plenty tonight, and maybe he can take over as chef," I mumbled as Alice led me down another hallway and opened a door that led to a garage filled with so many fancy cars it looked like a showroom.

Edward's shiny Volvo was there, oddly.

Then I realised, he probably owned two or three cars.

Naturally.

Rich as well as gorgeous.

It seemed unfair that he was so good in the sack. There must be one area of life that he sucked at, surely.

"Bye Isabella. I hope we see you again soon. I have the feeling you and I will be good friends," she stated.

I doubted that somehow.

"Thanks Alice. I mean that. More than you imagine. You stopped me making a complete fool of myself."

I'd no sooner climbed in the jeep and driven towards the gate, leaving my brother stranded, when a dark BMW pulled in, and drove past me.

I breathed out a sigh of relief.

I'd left just in time.


	7. Chapter 7

Witsec

Chapter 7

EPOV

By the look on my father's face, I knew he didn't agree with my thinking at all.

He frowned when I finished speaking and stared at me.

"Edward, it's an answer, but not one you should be considering in my opinion. Bella Swan will not always be seventeen, and what happens when she graduates High School and you are the pretend father of Tanya's child?

You have always placed a high value on marriage, so I can't imagine you will simply get a divorce to pursue Bella. And that would be unfair on Tanya and the child. If you make this commitment, then it's no different to any other marriage. You have to be in it for life."

"Of course I would stay with Tanya," I argued. "After what I have done, can't you understand? I have done something very wrong and I can't fix it, but this way I can do something unselfish and right and maybe make up for my sin. I owe the Universe a debt. Tanya is my best friend. She needs a father for her baby.

Even if by some miracle Bella wanted to wait and be with me, what I did was wrong and it will always be hanging over us. I can't change what I did but I can do her the favour of getting out of her life and letting her grow up without the constant reminder."

He looked annoyed.

"I can't see how one thing relates to the other. You made a mistake. We all do. Just because this was your first mistake, you have no idea how to cope with it. Please don't do anything reckless. Especially this. All I can see is a lot of broken hearts. You are offering Tanya a solution for now but in the long run, what happens when the infant looks like Garrett? He has those eyes you don't forget in a hurry and if the child inherits them, then nothing you say will convince anyone that your lie is the truth."

"But the baby doesn't have to resemble him. It might take after Tanya."

Carlisle stood up and walked to the window.

"Are you intending telling the child the truth? How would you feel if your mother and I told you now that you were not my child? That Esme was already pregnant when we married, but not to me?"

I snorted.

"I would never believe it. Not with the bond the two of you have."

"Don't you want that bond for yourself? Don't you want to be with the woman who makes you feel how your mother makes me feel every single day?

My life would be intolerable if I had married someone else; someone I didn't love, and had to stay on the outskirts of Esme's life, watching her be with someone else, because that is the reality.

If you marry Tanya then Bella will turn to another man.

Have you considered how you will feel, watching her bond with him; marry him, maybe have babies with him?

You were so sure she was meant for you and now you are willing to ignore that and settle. I understand you want to help Tanya but helping her construct a family and an existence based on a lie is not a good idea."

"Dad, I have spent a week telling myself being with Bella is wrong, and I am finally at a place where I believe I can walk into that school on Monday and treat her just like all her peers, and you are saying that would be wrong? Because to me, that is the way it has to be.

Having a family with Tanya may be second best but you don't always get what you want the most in this life.

A future with Bella is so improbable and unsure. This option is real. How would you feel if everyone here knew what I did?

Announcing to the world that I am marrying Tanya and she is carrying my baby is a far lesser sin than admitting I slept with a seventeen year old virgin. This **is** a solution. This will fix everything."

"Except you will never feel for Tanya what you should feel for the woman you marry. And you will always feel for Bella what you felt that day. You can't erase what you did by entering into an arrangement with a woman who is old enough to stand up and admit her own mistakes.

Garrett and Tanya should have kept their hands off one another, but they didn't. This is their mistake and nothing to do with you. In the long term, neither will thank you for sacrificing yourself for them.

Kate is your friend too. So is Irina. So, it's okay to lie to them? It's noble to pretend their nephew is your child, and to live the life until his real father steps up? Then what happens to you? Do you just walk away and leave them to it? Walk away from a little girl or boy who thought you were their Dad? That child will grieve for you, and never forgive the deception.

And what then?

You live the rest of your life alone?

Atonement does not work that way. If you owe anyone anything, surely your debt is to Bella? You can't balance the books by paying someone else."

"So you think it would be better to sit and wait and hope one day, in the future, that Bella Swan will want to be with me despite our rocky beginning. What are the chances?"

"Edward, it's your life. Whatever you do, you have to live with the consequences but taking away all Bella's choices is hardly fair. I've met her, by the way. She enrolled in your mother's latest cooking class. She didn't stay long; I think Alice scared her off."

"Bella was here? Tonight?"

"You probably drove past her. She was driving her brother's jeep."

"I was vaguely aware of the jeep but my mind was on other things."

"You haven't promised Tanya anything, so you still have the choice of walking away from that trainwreck. Honestly Edward, I don't see there being any happy ever afters in what you are considering.

No matter what you did, you do deserve to find your mate. To be with the woman made for you. How would the Universe be any happier if you abandon Bella? If you two were made for one another then she will never be with her soulmate either. She will be with her 'Tanya' and never get to experience the joy of being with the man she loves. Okay, she should not have been in that bar and she should have stopped what happened, but maybe that was her mistake to make and learn from. At least promise me you will spend some time with her, and talk to her before you make any announcements."

I stood up and held the backrest of the chair, my hands gripping the antique wood tightly.

"I just want to do something good after doing something so wrong."

"But maybe this is not the correct right thing to do.

How would you feel if Bella announced to you today that she got married to someone 'more suitable' while you were gone, because she didn't want to burden you with the worry of what happened between you two? What if she announced it was Mike or Tyler or Jacob Black that took her virginity? Would you be pleased? Happy to be let off the hook? I don't think so. I think your reaction would be 'How could you do this to me? How could you take away any chance we had of a future together', now wouldn't it?"

I walked away.

He was never going to see things the way I saw them and now he had caused me to doubt all my plans.

I truly saw Tanya as a solution but he made it sound like a silly thoughtless plan invented to allow both Tanya and myself from facing up to our respective mistakes. And, damn him, now I could see it that way too.

I went to the garage and got in my car, unsure where I was headed, but once I hit the road the car seemed to know exactly where we were going.

It parked itself a few houses away from Charlie's house and I sat there undecided for a moment, and in that moment, a further complication occurred. A truck pulled up in their driveway and Jacob Black appeared.

As I watched, Bella came outside and greeted him, and I truly considered turning around and heading back to Alaska and ignoring Carlisle's advice.

These two could make a good enough couple, I told myself.

He was good looking, intelligent from what I knew about him; and he was her age.

Then he reached out a hand and placed a stray lock of Bella's hair behind her ear and I wanted to tear him limb from limb right there, right now.

_Mine._

My hands clenched around the steering wheel.

My vision was clouded in red as Jake moved in closer, and Bella stepped back, away, awkwardly, trying to not cause waves, but clearly uncomfortable with him touching any part of her.

It reminded me of the way I had recoiled from Tanya's hand.

Why had that happened? Because she was not the right person for me.

Why was Bella pulling away from this boy?

For the same reason.

She had not hesitated to welcome my touch.

I sat there observing, reading Bella's body language.

Jake appeared to be trying to convince her to go somewhere with him, and she didn't want to go, but she didn't want to reject him outright and hurt his feelings.

He wasn't worthy of her concern, not the way he kept laughing at her reluctance and refusing to take the hint.

He grabbed her hand and I bristled all over.

How could I go to Alaska and leave her with no protection from idiots like this?

Bella pulled her hand back and the smile left her face.

I watched with glee as she pushed at him, yelling angrily.

Still he laughed, but he got into his truck and started to leave, calling to her from his window.

"I'll be back. You do like me, just admit it. Later Baby."

Bella stood there watching the vehicle drive away, her hands tearing at her hair and to my amazement, she stamped her foot. I have never believed girls actually did that before.

She was angry and I was glad I was not the cause of her temper tantrum.

Carlisle was right.

I needed to talk to her at least before making an decision.

xxxx

BPOV

Where the fuck is Charlie, or more to the point, Charlie's gun when I need it?

Honestly, I have had my fill of seventeen year old boys and Jake was very lucky Marcus had taken away my sidearm because I think I would have used it.

The boy is a douche.

"Hey Bella, how about coming to the movies with me?" was a fair enough question but when he started telling me all the things he intended doing to be in the darkness of the cinema, honestly I feared I was going to throw up right here in front of him.

Then as he touched me, the bitter distaste changed to anger, and I was glad deep inside that my boss had disarmed me.

My temper abated as quickly as it appeared once he drove away and suddenly I realised how cold it was outside.

And how hungry I was.

Not to mention stupid, for getting takeaway for Charlie and Emmett instead of grocery shopping this afternoon just to save time, because now I was starving and there was nothing here to eat.

Naturally Emmett had polished off three whole pizzas and Charlie had eaten the fourth so there was not even a cold mess of congealed cheese and tomato paste waiting for me in the fridge.

And no Italian meal brought home from Esme's class.

I stomped my foot, angry again.

And that's when I saw him.

Or his car.

Then as I stood there, Edward emerged and despite all my carefully considered convictions to stay the Hell away from him, I ran straight into his arms, as he opened them and grabbed me to his chest, his lips immediately warm against the top of my head,

xxxx

EPOV

"Bella, we need to go inside. You have neighbours," I reminded her after a few moments.

"You were gone," she babbled, seemingly as reluctant to step away from me as I was to let her go. So much for doing the right thing.

Around her, the right and wrong things were confused.

It felt exactly right to hold her in my arms, against my body, and yet my brain was yelling at me, warning me, no, this is wrong.

If I couldn't let her be, then at least we needed to go inside.

I checked around but luckily the cold and impending darkness meant most people were indoors by now and nobody saw our shameful reunion.

"We really have to stop meeting this way," I grumbled, angry at myself. How could I embrace her like that, out here, for all the world to see? Wasn't I resolved to following a more noble path?

All my sensible plans had vanished the moment we ran towards one another.

Damn it, this girl was going to be the death of me.

I kept my arm around her shoulders as we headed inside, and the moment the door was closed, once again, the world ceased to exist and there was only Bella.

Her lips were on mine in a nanosecond but whose fault that was is debateable. I think we were equally responsible, or irresponsible, more like.

My hand roamed across her back, pulling her in closer as my other hand swept through her hair, keeping her lips attached to mine.

Her hands were on my waist, making sure I could not step away either.

This was madness but somehow when I was with her, it felt so right, no matter what my brain warned.

I didn't care.

I knew in that moment that Tanya was going to have to clean up her own mess, because as much as I loved her as a friend, it did not compare to the things this girl did to me.

Finally we pulled back, and she laughed. To my surprise, I was laughing as well.

"Well, I did just intend saying hello," I stated, kissing her cheeks, and her chin, then her throat as she offered it to me.

"Edward, thank God you are back. I've been going crazy," she replied, her hands roughly roving over my back and shoulders, and then she slid a hand through my hair and tugged at it.

Instantly I moaned out loud.

"Bella, we need to talk."

"Talk? Sure, we can talk. Later."

There was no way this was going any further. I would not repeat my mistake and allow myself to do anything any more inappropriate than kiss her and touch her back and apparently, let her direct me up the staircase into her bedroom.

Just to talk.

In privacy.

Naked privacy.

"Bella."

I meant it as a warning but it emerged as more of a moan as she pushed me against the bed and I fell onto my back on the mattress.

She was straddling me before there was any chance of any of my blood returning to my brain.

Maybe I should have fought back but I was somehow fully encased inside her and she had her palms flat on my chest as she raised and lowered herself on me.

I did make one feeble effort to grab her hips but instead of stilling her as I intended, they urged her to go harder.

Maybe just this once, then never again, I resolved, unable to stop my body arching into hers.

I should have been prepared. I should not have let my body starve and let this lust build up, but honestly I had no idea how much I wanted her until right now. All my resolutions were gone, washed away and I felt her shudder and tighten around me.

I could stop.

I could do the right thing and ...

I grabbed her in a tight hold and rolled so she was under me. Now I was in charge and things would be different. This was not allowed. This was bad, so bad. So fucking...good.

"Dammit, if I'm going to Hell anyway," I moaned, thrusting inside her deeply.

What was age but a number?

I'd never so much as glanced at a teenage girl before since leaving my own teens. That had to mean something.

It was her.

Bella.

She was mine and all the good intentions in the world were pointless when we were together.

I wish I felt guilty but all I felt was right.

My heart thudded loudly in my chest and she took me over the edge, her eyes staring into mine, her lips smiling, her body sweating lightly as I shook and came inside her.

How could something so wrong feel so good and so bloody right?

I lay there, still inside her, my lips searching, seeking hers and slowly the madness abated and I could reason again.

I groaned.

"What?" she demanded as I slid off her and lay on my back, my arm across my eyes so I would not have to look at her and let her see the complete lack of shame in them.

"I came here to talk," I mumbled.

"So? Talk.. Who is stopping you?" she asked, leaning up on one elbow and tracing circles on my chest. "You could have been talking all along. You could have told me what a naughty girl I am and threatened to spank my bare bottom."

I grabbed her hand and stilled it.

"You are seventeen years old. Unless by some stroke of impossible luck you had a birthday while I was gone? Or maybe you were born in a leap year and you have actually been on this Earth longer than me."

"Let's see. If I was born in a leap year, seventeen times four...heck, Edward, now I'm a cougar."

"Better a cougar than a seventeen year old," I moaned. How had this happened? What sort of spell was I under?

"Oh yeah. About that whole seventeen thing."

"Mmmm?" I answered hopelessly.

"I am seventeen for all intents and purposes but let's just say I've been seventeen for a while."

I sat up, confused.

"Edward, does this look like the body of a seventeen year old girl?"

It had been ten years since I last saw one naked beside me, but no, she did not have the body of a teen.

I remembered Tanya's seventeen year old body. Young, soft, newly matured.

Bella's body looked like the done deal.

She was firm and although tiny, still definitely all woman.

"Explain," I demanded, suddenly both fearful and angry. If she had put me through all that crap for nothing...

"My job makes certain demands of me, like I sort of hinted at last time we talked. I had to present myself as a seventeen year old student but believe me, I have been there and done that before. Several times, in fact. My boss likes to amuse himself and send me on assignments guaranteed to drive me insane. Who would have thought this assignment would top the one where I lived as Tawny Tinsel for God knows how long.

Anyway, your soul is safe. You haven't broken any laws, neither God's nor man's. But I am going to remain seventeen for a while longer yet. Sorry."

"How long have you been seventeen? Exactly," I demanded.

"Well, it's not a continuous thing. Sometimes Marcus lets me be older, but if it had been ever since I was actually that age, then, uh, eight years."

"Do you have any idea what I almost did?" I growled.

She wrinkled her forehead.

"Anything you want to do is fine with me," she quipped.

"I was going to marry Tanya. I was leaving here, to take myself away from the...temptation. To save us both. I was going to marry a woman I do not love, and raise a child with her. I was back here to tell you that. To make sure we made a clean break, and you moved on. You would have never seen me again."

She sniffed and sat up , tossing her hair back over her shoulder. She rubbed her eyes and grimaced.

"Fuck. Well, that's not happening."

Stepping from the bed, she walked to her vanity table and sat down, and removed the nasty brown lenses.

Then she walked back to the bed.

"Thank God I don't have to wear those fuckers around you any more. Damn girl couldn't have been born with blue eyes. No, that would have been too convenient. Sometimes I wonder if Marcus went out of his way to find someone as different as possible, just so I had to dye my hair and wear those contacts."

"You aren't Bella Swan."

"I wasn't born Bella Swan, but I am her for now."

"Then who are you?"

"Uh uh. If I tell you, you might slip and call me by the wrong name. For as long as I am in Forks, I am Isabella Marie Swan. End of story."

"Obviously Charlie knows this."

She nodded.

"And Emmett?"

Bella bit her lip.

"I am not sure. I can't ask him without revealing the truth. I think he believes I am his sister. Charlie says he didn't tell him anything but I don't know if I believe it. If Emmett knows then he is going along with the charade really well. He treats me exactly like his little sister. I don't think that will change while I am here."

"How long will that be?" I asked, somewhat anxiously.

"Who knows? I have a goal to achieve as a student at Forks High and once that is done, then..."

She shrugged.

"Then you go somewhere else and be someone new," I suggested.

"Yep. It can be fun, but then, normally I remain detached from everyone, no matter how I act. I usually pretend to be someone's wife, girlfriend, daughter but they know the truth and it's all just a game. You were almost right when you decided I was an actor. I am, of a sort. My whole life is pretending to be someone I'm not. Except around you. You are my complication."

She sat beside me, hugging her knees to her chest.

"What happens now? While I am incredibly relieved that you are not seventeen, we will appear to be the cliche couple. Irresponsible teacher banging precocious student. Jessica Stanley will wonder why you and not her."

"Obviously we have to behave as teacher and student in public, but I have an idea. I seem to be slipping behind in my grades. I think I need a tutor. Would you be up for that job, Mr Cullen?"

I shuddered.

"Never call me that again. Not in private. Okay, I guess there are one or two things I could teach you. Lead me to your shower and we can begin today. Right now."

Bella jumped up and headed for the door, with me hot on her heels.

It all seemed a little surreal.

Things were definitely a lot better than I had thought but I wished we could be a couple openly, for all the world to see. No matter what promises she wanted me to make, I was determined that I would be telling Carlisle the truth, so my poor father could sleep at night.

Shit.

Tanya.

At some point I had to tell her the deal was off. Never going to happen.

I guess she would have to clean up her own mess.


	8. Chapter 8

Witsec

Chapter 8

BPOV

Charlie raised an eyebrow when he walked in the door and found us sitting innocently across the table from one another. We had both showered, again, since leaving my four poster bed, and now Mr Cullen was tutoring me in Spanish.

Apparently it was an easy language to learn and once you could speak it fluently, it was a big help if you wanted to go on to learn French and Italian.

I was open to learning a dozen new languages if it meant my tutor had to come and teach me.

My Dad emptied his firearm and hung it up, then locked the magazine away in his safe, before turning and putting his hands on his hips, as he looked us over.

"So, Edward, what brings you here?" he asked gruffly.

"Bella has been avoiding attending Spanish class because she didn't take it as her other language in her old school, and she needs the points to graduate so I volunteered to come and coach her after school each afternoon."

I grinned. Each afternoon? We hadn't exactly discussed a schedule yet but every day seemed good. I was pretty lost when it came to all things Spanish. And it would be so inconvenient for everyone if I just changed to German class, even though I was quite fluent. All that nasty paperwork for the lady in the office.

Charlie scratched his head and scrutinised me.

"So, you need help with Spanish. Do I need to set up a desk down here somewhere? We seem to have some spare room suddenly," he growled, observing the lack of side tables in the sitting area. "Emmett?"

"He and his friends had a game the other night," I confessed. "Don't worry about a desk, Charlie, I do have one in my bedroom."

"Bella, could you help me with making some coffee?" he suggested firmly.

Uh oh. I was in trouble.

Charlie pretended he knew where the crockery was kept but after opening and closing three wrong cupboards in a row, he shrugged and I pointed out where the mugs resided.

"Is this some kind of ruse to find out if Cullen is the one?" he whispered.

I had to laugh.

"Pretty much, but not the way you mean. He isn't the dealer, Dad. I would bet my life on it."

"Don't go anywhere alone with him until you prove that for certain. I have pepper spray at work. I will bring some home. A teen girl should never leave home without it."

"He knows."

"He knows what?"

"Enough. He knows I'm not seventeen. There was an incident before I arrived. I was a day early and I spent that time getting to know Seattle. Well, a Seattle bar actually, and the inside of a hotel."

"With Cullen?"

"Be nice. Please. He is important. You don't have to play the outraged father. He has told Dr Cullen the truth as well. He called him earlier and explained."

Charlie looked confused and angry.

"But isn't this like Fight Club? Nobody is allowed to talk about it?"

"Usually. But Edward was suffering. He saw me in his classroom and thought he'd deflowered a teenaged virgin. I had to explain. Marcus approved. Eventually. But it's fine to pretend nothing has happened. Edward is going to keep appearing to be nothing more than my teacher, and as far as anyone else knows, that's it. End of story.

Just don't ever come into my room without knocking and waiting for a reply. For all our sakes. Edward might be giving me some intensive tutoring."

Charlie waved his hands in the air.

"No, don't. I don't want to know. Let's pretend he is just teaching Spanish. That's good enough for me. You are being careful, right? We don't have any spare rooms to use as a nursery, and I don't want to have to be the father of a pregnant schoolgirl."

Fuck me.

What were we thinking? I was risking everything; my career, my future. I was twenty five years old and there was absolutely no excuse for not using protection and yet...

"Of course we are," I growled back, angry at myself. "That won't be an issue."

Charlie dropped several teabags into a cup and I took over, putting them into a teapot instead and heating up the coffee machine.

"Tea or coffee, Edward?" I asked, trying to ignore his smirking smile. He knew Charlie was being filled in on the situation but he hadn't overheard the very relevant point my father had mentioned.

We needed to be far more careful in future.

I made the beverages and we all sat down at the table. Edward was amused at the bond Charlie and I were building up, knowing we were actually nothing to one another. He kicked my leg under the table when I sat down and Charlie decided we needed snacks as well, so he went to fetch his private supply from a cake tin he kept hidden upstairs in his bedroom. Not from mice, but from Emmett.

"You always remain detached and never connect with anyone, right?" Edward laughed quietly. "Looks like you are failing all around this assignment."

He was right.

Not only Charlie, but Emmett too, had started to get under my skin and feel like family.

That had to stop. One day I would be walking away and it would be bad enough leaving my heart here with Edward. I could not cope with feeling like I had left my family behind as well.

"Tell me about your own father," Edward asked, sipping his coffee.

"He's...gone," I replied.

Edward frowned.

"Dead? I'm sorry to hear that. No wonder you are bonding with Charlie. Was his death recent?"

"He and my Mom were married for thirty years," I answered, avoiding further details. He may not be actually 'dead' dead, but he was dead to me.

Mom might be here today if he had taken his marriage vows more seriously. At least his treachery had taught me one thing. Men lie. Men cheat and if that isn't bad enough, they also do real, lasting damage that can't ever be undone, when they cheat and live a double life. And when the shit hit the fan, he had chosen her over us. Her, his latest secret girlfriend, over his wife and his child.

Who knows how long they had been meeting secretly?

He must have been an old hand at sneaking around by then. Years and years of practice.

I'd heard their fights over the years. The bitter words he'd thrown at my mother when she got 'too needy' 'too clingy', and 'smothered' him. Pity she hadn't smothered him for real.

He'd cheated on her before they even left for their honeymoon.

While it may be something of a given that the Best Man gets to try it on with the bridesmaid, my father had beaten him to it, and fucked my Mom's best friend at the wedding reception.

Mom had gone looking for him when he disappeared after the bridal waltz.

He couldn't even keep it in his pants until that night when he had a wife of his own to sleep with all nice and legally.

She may have felt she had to accept his 'one mistake' and keep his dirty little secret so the reception could go on and she could leave for her honeymoon with her pride appearing to be intact, but it would have been a fatal honeymoon if I had been the bride.

The groom would have met with a nasty accident off a clifftop, not been allowed to weasel his way out of what he had done.

Even if the bridesmaid had hit on him, one would assume it was completely allowable to turn the woman down at your own wedding.

I would never forgive him. Finding out the truth about what type of a man my father really was when I was sixteen years old had scared me for life. I had always taken his side when Mom seemed obsessed with knowing where he was 24/7.

In my arrogant teenage wisdom, I'd told her space was as necessary as closeness and affection and she needed to chillax and let him have some him time.

To think I'd always assumed I was always 'teacher's pet' each year because I was a likeable child, when all along, these women only made me their favourite because they were banging my Dad.

I have no spoken to him for years, so better that everyone did think he was dead and gone.

I'd swap things around and have him lying rotting in his grave instead of my sweet, far too dependant , trusting mother, who died of a broken heart, in a heartbeat.

All he'd taught me was the one truth.

Men are not always what they appear on the outside. Some of them are rotten to the core. You can't trust their lies and it's better to remain detached, though clearly I was failing here, like Edward said.

I knew I had to only invest as much as I was willing to lose in this relationship, but already it felt like it was too late. Edward held my entire heart in his hand.

xxxx

EPOV

Charlie was clearly unsure how to act around me. He knew that I knew, but he had already become accustomed to Bella being his daughter, and that meant he thought of her as the seventeen year old his real child was.

The lines had become blurred, and while he had agreed to turn a blind eye to our tutoring lessons, it was only because that's what he would prefer to pretend was happening. He was uncomfortable with the idea this girl was a woman, and had a woman's desires and feelings.

I did feel sorry for him. He hadn't seen his daughter in so many years it was a wonder he could even upgrade her from child to teen.

Last time she had been here she must have still believed in Santa Claus.

I wondered briefly if she would turn up and set a cat among the pigeons but surely this 'Marcus' would never send anyone undercover into a situation that could be blown so easily.

Charlie offered the tin of cookies to Bella, then looked me over again before deciding I might be worthy of a cookie too.

I thanked him and took just the one, even though Bella had taken a handful and was eating them as though she hadn't eaten in a week. Her stomach had been growling earlier and it hit me.

"Did you eat dinner?" I checked.

She shrugged and ate another cookie.

"I planned on eating whatever Esme had us make. Dad and Emmett ate earlier but there was nothing here so I was going to check the veggie patch again but I got distracted."

"I should see that she eats something," I stated to Charlie.

"I am eating," Bella replied, waving the chocolate chip delight in her hand.

"I meant real food. A proper meal. You could come back to my house. I have food."

I could see she was torn between staying here and keeping Charlie calm and actually having a real dinner

Her stomach won.

"Okay, come on. Nobody will notice us in the dark, right?" she questioned hopefully. We had already agreed to only meet here or at school, of course but I wanted her to see my home.

I smiled, suddenly glad about where I had built my house. Let's just say neighbours are not a problem.

"Be safe, kids," Charlie cautioned as he moved into the media area and grabbed the remote. Big game tonight. He would not notice what time I brought his 'daughter' back.

Maybe I could keep her all night long.

I liked that idea.

We were getting into my car when a truck that was fast becoming familiar pulled up in the driveway and Jacob Black alighted. He scowled at me as he set up the wheelchair from the tray, and helped his father into it.

"Good evening Bella," Billy Black said, glaring at me openly. "Jake was hoping to spend some time with you while Charlie and I caught the game."

"Sorry, I have to attend study group," she replied instantly. "Mr Cullen is collecting all the students with failing grades to give us some tutoring. We have to go, the others will be waiting. Bye Jacob," she added gleefully.

"You really don't like him, do you?" I checked as we drove away into the winding road that led deeper into the forest.

"Jake is a good buddy but he wants to change that to another level. Guys have such a problem accepting when they have been friendzoned. What's with that?"

"No man likes to be classified as a friend when the woman in question is someone they are crushing on," I replied, using the term to keep Jake where he should stay. In the teenzone as well. "I can't blame him for wanting you. Any red blooded male would."

She looked surprised but she smiled and touched my hand with hers for a moment.

I was getting the idea Bella did not see herself clearly.

Maybe it was the accursed contact lenses.

xxxx

My house was equipped with plenty of security devices, mainly to keep the likes of Jessica Stanley and others of her ilk away. The lights were all blazing and I was proud of the structure I had spent years designing and finally having built to my specifications.

There were a lot of large windows, so the place was flooded with whatever light Mother Nature offered here, but also she was assisted by concealed strip lighting in each room, and at night the whole place glowed in the dark like a firefly.

"Okay, this is awesome," Bella commented, opening her door before I could get to her side of the car.

She stood back just observing as I unlocked the front door and held it open.

The coldness of the evening was on my side and she soon decided to explore the interior and leave a detailed inspection of the exterior for daylight.

"Feel free to roam around. I will be in the kitchen. I gather you like Italian?"

"Um, sure, whatever. Put it on a plate and I'll eat it. I'm like Emmett that way."

Once again I was struck by how seamlessly she appeared to have fitted into the Swan family and taken over the gap left by Charlie's absent daughter.

Where was the real Bella and how did Marcus know she would not appear on the doorstep?

Would Bella even tell me if she knew the answers?

I had a feeling I was strictly to be told only what I needed to know. And the other thing was, once she found out who was dealing to the kids, which had to be why she was here in the first place, then she would leave Forks, and therefore me, behind.

I knew drugs were being supplied by someone of authority at school , and Emmett and I had discussed it a few times, but neither of us knew anything useful.

The kids were extremely careful and tight lipped, but then, they would be protective of their dealer. They needed him.

Loyalty to him would always outshine any desire for them to get in favour with a teacher. I might have a chance of finding something out from someone like Jessica if she thought there would be something in it for her but the idea of flirting with her tasted disgusting in my mouth.

The only 'schoolgirl' I was interested in was upstairs possibly rummaging through my underwear drawer.

Bella finally came down as I served up spaghetti bolognaise onto two plates and opened a bottle of wine. Thank God she could legally drink. I felt like I needed alcohol after the day I had just lived through.

But it was all good.

I had been granted my dearest wish; that Bella not be seventeen years old.

Until I saw her in that school uniform, I had never considered she might be, but the outfit had changed everything.

I wiped the sweat from my brow.

This day could have easily ended so differently.

I didn't even want to think about what could have happened. I'd come so close to real disaster. Part of me had wanted to stay in Alaska and not return here at all; just get the wedding over with and force myself to never come back to Forks. Leave Bella alone.

She danced up to the table.

"I like your house. It's different. Kind of impractical in some ways, but awesome all the same."

"Impractical?" I quizzed. Okay, I had not been going for a typical, regular design but everything worked. How was it impractical?

Bella blushed.

"Just, all those staircases and open plan rooms, and the bridge across to the main bedroom from the third floor landing...the other bedrooms are a whole level lower..."

"Why would I want any guests up near me?" I asked as I handed her a glass.

She shrugged.

"It's not what one would call kid friendly."

"I don't plan on inviting children here," I stated. Then I got it.

"Bella, I have been incredibly reckless with you. I can't apologise enough. My only defence is when I am with you, all normal brain activity goes into hibernation. Are we going to be okay? You did say you were a living calendar."

"Day seventeen. Funny how that number keeps popping up."

"Day seventeen out of how many days in your cycle?"

"Twenty eight," she replied.

Okay. That was a little too close for comfort. We had to refrain from further chancy behaviour until one of us used some form of contraception. I was willing to be the one, even though sex with condoms now lost a lot of appeal but I would do anything to keep making love to her, and I had to keep her safe.

"I have protection. We will be using it in future," I promised.

"That would be sensible," she replied, tasting the food and giving me a thumbs up of approval. She didn't speak again until her plate was empty and I offered her seconds once I realised she wanted more. She had moved on to eating bread, dipping it into the herb infused extra virgin olive oil.

It was a new experience, feeding a woman who ate.

She hadn't touched the bowl of side salad at all, and that had always been the main course for Tanya, and Heidi hadn't even eaten the entire contents of hers. Tanya did eat proper food now and again but she would die before she'd have seconds, and I don't think Heidi knew that other courses existed after the salad.

Sure, she had fed me, but she had only ever cooked food for one.

It was refreshing to share a meal with a woman who enjoyed eating as much as I did.

"Are you going to finish that?" she asked, grinning, and I laughed and served her more spaghetti before going back to my own meal. I put my arm protectively around my plate and she laughed.

"That would not be an obstacle if I wanted your food, just so you know," she warned me. "I have a fork and I'm willing to use it. I'm not opposed to a little game of stabby stabby."

"I knew you were dangerous," I growled.

xxxx

"So, is this as weird for you as it is for me?" she asked as she kicked off her shoes and curled up at my side on my sofa.

We'd eaten dessert after Bella unearthed a frozen chocolate Bavarian in my freezer; she said it was calling to her; and now we were having coffee.

I draped my arm around her and sat back contented.

"Weird in what way?"

"Well, when we are apart, I have all these fears and doubts and as well as that, I can also think rationally, but the moment you appear, bang. I just don't care any more. I've spent years building up my career and it's been the focus of my life, and rationally, I know I have to always be able to support myself, and maybe any future children I may have, but then, along comes Edward and I can't even remember to ask you to use a condom. Not that I like the nasty little things but they are the smart choice."

I laughed.

"It's exactly the same way for me. Many many times in the past I've been tempted to throw caution to the wind because Tanya or Heidi and I were somewhere inconveniently without a condom, and I have never sucumbed. Then along came you and for all we know, we could have a pregnant schoolgirl on our hands. How do you feel about that possibility?"

"Obviously that would be inconvenient, and it would spoil everything with this case but on the other hand, it's kind of exciting," she said, looking at me through her lashes coyly, watching for my reaction.

"I know."

I put my cup down and placed my hand on her midriff. It was possible that deep inside her there was the beginnings of a new life and while I had always shied away from the idea of having children in the short term, now the prospect appealed to me greatly.

"I don't believe in accidents. I think everything happens for a reason and if you are carrying my baby, I promise you, it would be all good news. I would not hesitate for a moment to marry you."

"Whoa. Marry me? You do know what decade this is, right? Getting some girl up the duff does not make marriage a foregone conclusion. I would be capable of raising a child alone, you know."

"But why would you want to? I would definitely plan to live in the same house as my child and her mother, at the very least," I warned her.

She shifted away a little and turned to face me.

"Edward, we know nothing about one another and we did not meet in the conventional way, not to mention we have no idea if we even like one another. I know we have the whole 'instant attraction' thing going here but seriously? Marriage? Maybe that is something we could explore in ten years time, but now?

I would want to know everything about you before I'd even crack open that door. Marriage is not on my to do list."

I was mystified and slightly annoyed.

"If you have no intention of getting married then you need to snap out of it and never have unprotected sex, don't you think? It's not just you who has to live with the consequences. This modern idea of sleeping with someone you would not marry is extremely distasteful to me. If you don't want to do the right thing by everyone involved, then you need to make sure nothing ever happens."

Bella snorted.

"Really, Edward. You would have been willing to marry me if I had come here to Forks, not for work, just looking for you in a couple of months time because our first encounter had left me with a bun in the oven? Knowing nothing about me, you would have gambled that we had what it took to stay together forever based on spending twenty four hours, mainly in bed, together?"

"Yes. I believe I would. If you start a baby then you have a responsibility to be there for the rest of that child's life and not just as a source of child support. Children need their fathers too. Men are entitled to be hands on with their offspring. I would want to raise the baby myself, alongside his mother."

"Then I guess we really need to hope that nothing has happened."

She put her cup down and I could feel her unease. But despite her words I could tell what she felt was not some outraged reaction that I would dare expect her to marry me because of a child, it was something more. Something deeper. She was scared.

Terrified.

Of me? Or of marriage?

"We would have almost nine months to get to know everything about one another," I reminded her, reaching out my hands.

She let me pull her back to my side, and rested against my shoulder.

"But Edward, what if you didn't like what you found out, and you didn't want to keep me?" she whispered. "I'm not Bella. You know that. I'm not the child of a good man like Charlie Swan."

"You will always be my Bella," I assured her.


	9. Chapter 9

Witsec

Chapter 9

BPOV

I was fast discovering the layers and complexities of being in a relationship; some I had never considered for a moment. Having always been the observer, it had appeared simple to me. Either a couple clicked and worked, or they didn't, and broke up.

But things were not all black and white after all.

I had little doubt that Edward was my One, so why were there points we disagreed on? I'd assumed my One and I would think exactly alike and agree on everything important.

It seems I was wrong.

Obviously I wasn't going to back out and throw in the towel already but Edward was forcing me to accept that a couple really was a melding of two othen very different people, and his solution was talking about it.

I had other plans for the night and they did involve our mouths but not for chatting.

If we were to be lovers, then I wanted to give as much as he gave.

That meant his first teaching lesson would involve his penis and my mouth.

I'd seen it done, in soft porn films, but really, my mind was bulging with questions.

How did one not choke, or bite?

Or gag, even?

It would not be that romantic if you threw up all over your lover's bits, I imagined.

Edward laughed and ruffled my hair.

"You really don't have to worry. I'm not bothered if you never do that. I don't think you realise what I want from you, Bella. If you think sex is my goal, then you are underestimating things greatly. Sex is just a small part of it. And oral is just a small part of sex , and if you never do it to me, I don't care.

We have been having enough fun without it anyway."

I was taken aback.

How many times had Cosmo done the 'if you don't blow, will he go?' story?

Everything I'd read made it sound like it was what all men wanted, even more than full sex, so his disinterest confused me.

Maybe he didn't trust someone new to that game near his junk.

"You could just teach me. I am a quick learner with most things," I reminded him.

He frowned and placed his hand under my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes.

"That particular activity is just about sex. You doing it to me would not make me love you more. As you pointed out, I'm an old fashioned kind of guy when it comes to love and lust, and believe me, often one does not accompany the other."

"Have many girls done that to you? Are you assuming I will be bad at it because I've never done it before?"

He shrugged.

"Heidi seemed to enjoy doing it, and yes, she did it well, but it was never far from my mind that the reason she did it so well was because she had plenty of practise in the past. Tanya never offered, and I never asked.

I guess in a way it sums up the difference in the two relationships. What I had with Tanya was real, but inadequate. We were good together but not good enough to go the distance.

Heidi was more...well, most guys go through a stage of whoring around with a lot of different women without any intentions of ever settling down with any of them. That was my time with Heidi.

I thought at the start that maybe it could progress into something real, but pretty soon it became obvious that I was her cover story boyfriend."

"She's a lesbian?" I asked in surprise.

Edward laughed.

"Nothing so simple as that. She had this thing for a married colleague and I guess it was easier for the two of them to keep their secret if Tanya appeared to be in a relationship herself. Once I realised the truth, I guess I took the low road and used her in return.

If I was nothing more than her 'beard', then she was my fuckbuddy. It saved me going against my beliefs and whoring around, but I think everyone knew it wasn't real.

My parents were not fooled for a minute.

Esme saw Heidi as little more than a mistake and never included her in family occasions. I never asked her to, so that just confirmed to Esme that she was right. If you don't get invited to their house for birthdays and Christmas, then you can be pretty sure my parents do not consider you a real contender.

Heidi did her own thing on holidays when I spent them with my family."

"Will it be that way with me?" I asked fearfully. After all, I was sure his father knew I was the hook up he had in a bar in Seattle.

"Carlisle trusts my judgement. He knows you mean a lot to me already and so you will be considered part of the family, Bella."

"But they will have expectations?" I queried nervously.

Edward rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head.

"They know what I want, one day, with the right girl. They know I consider you the right girl, but they also know relationships are all about compromise. If you are truly so set against ever getting married, then I guess I have to find a way to accept that, because there's no way it's becoming a deal breaker and pulling us apart.

Life is so precarious and can change in an instant.

None of us are guaranteed to survive for x amount of years so the years I do have, I want to be happy. I want to be with the person I love, and for her to be happy as well.

If she refuses to wear my ring on her finger, then so be it.

The part of me that needs her to stay will always win over the part of me that wants to do everything properly.

I am aware that many people think marriage has no value. Maybe you are one of them. Maybe in time I can change your mind, but maybe not. I truly will be happy enough if we just stay together."

"So, no slipping me drugs and having some celebrant tie the knot while I'm asleep then? Good to know."

xxxx

EPOV

Carlisle has always been my sounding board and voice of reason and he seemed unsurprised at Bella's attitude when I explained things to him the next day, after I had returned Charlie's stand in daughter home safe and sound before dawn.

Dad made coffee and we sat in his study.

"So, Bella has played the part of a seventeen year old schoolgirl for eight years on and off, and always done it convincingly. That seems to imply she is comfortable in that role, no matter what she says. If everyone else accepts her as a student, then clearly she isn't self conscious or awkward with the role."

"I guess so," I agreed, wondering where he was heading.

"There must be a reason she is happy to not have to 'grow up' and act like an adult 24/7. Most people would quit if they hated their job, so we have to assume she quite enjoys it."

"She does. She admits it is fun playing other people and not having to be herself," I agreed. It was a light bulb moment.

Bella did not like who she really was.

No doubt my father was right about her being happy enough reliving her teens over and over, and maybe that explained her dislike of marriage.

Marriage was something grown-ups did, and she preferred to stay in the age group where marriage was considered quite ridiculous and inappropriate. Unlike twenty five year olds, where it was common and completely acceptable, even sometimes expected.

The bits and pieces she had shared to date about her parents were sliding into place like puzzle pieces.

One day the whole picture would be there, loud and clear, but already I could see she did not trust men, and that usually reflected on the father.

Over time she would hopefully open up to me and talk about her parents more, and maybe come to realise while she was their child, she was not them.

Esme was the child of a philanderer and it had only made her more determined to never be like him.

She wanted everything he had not wanted himself.

One person to love and be with, and share herself with.

If Carlisle had not offered that to her, she would have moved on. It was the one thing she cared about more than she cared about Carlisle.

Loyalty, faithfulness and fidelity.

Anything else she could work with but they were her bottom line requirements.

Her unbreakable conditions.

Maybe things like that are genetic, because I feel that way myself although our generation is willing to make more mistakes before settling down with the person you seek those things from.

It would not have mattered what Heidi offered, to make up for her infidelity, nothing would ever have been enough.

My concept of who she was as a person altered the very first time I realised she was playing away.

The image in my head changed, and suddenly she was no longer a person I wanted to be with, yet I had not walked immediately. I was ashamed of that now, but at the time it truly did not seem like there was anyone out there waiting for me, so I let things drift, even though I had no illusions that Heidi was my One.

It was hard to explain to Bella.

She had trouble getting her head around me wanting the whole deal from her, yet accepting so little from Heidi.

"She doesn't get that it's love that makes the difference. I never loved Heidi, so it didn't really bother me how flawed she was. I guess I loved Tanya, in a way, because with her I wanted more and only broke up when it was obvious we didn't have it. We were not 'enough'. Bella is already enough, and more. I would settle for a limited period of happiness with her, if that is all I can have, rather than a lifetime of mediocrity with Tanya. I don't know why I bothered fighting against it."

"Because you wanted to do the right thing by Bella. It was of paramount importance, over and above your own desires. You wanted her to be safe and happy, at the expense of what you wanted, because you thought you were bad for her.

I'm so glad she isn't seventeen, Edward.

I must admit, I was struggling to see how things would ever work between you two. At least Bella is as keen to be with you as you are with her, and it's legal. Always a bonus!" he laughed.

"But I want to marry her," I sighed.

"Then be patient. Make it a long term goal, not an instant gratification. With the benefit of time, Bella may change her mind."

"I don't see that happening. She is so against it," I growled.

"But she formed that opinion before she met you. One day she may realise you are worth her reconsidering her stance. Don't give up. Just accept whatever she offers you for now, and let her come to her own conclusions. My bet is, she will change her mind, given space and time.

She will come to want every possible connection to you the universe offers."

"And meanwhile she plays the part of a possibly pregnant schoolgirl," I moaned.

Carlisle tapped the desktop with his fingers.

"Or Forks High could introduce an accelerated learning class, and get the brightest of the bright students through to Graduation in one year instead of two. I know the perfect teacher for such a class."

I looked at him in wonder.

It was true.

Out of the twenty eight students in the class, there were a handful who could handle cramming two years worth of education into nine months. Just cut out the sport and extracurricular activities, the Home Ec, the Art, and sadly, probably, the Music classes. Though I would fight for them, even if we held our Music lessons on weekends.

Mike Newton, Ben Cheney, Angela Webber, Tyler Crowley, Samantha Davis. And Bella. They could all graduate at the end of this school year if they were put in a small class with just the one teacher.

"And this is why you should rule the world," I chuckled.

xxxx

But before we built foundations for the future, there was one thing I needed to explain to Bella. A confession of sorts.

"Bella, I need to tell you something right now, before we get in any deeper," I stated, nervous about how she could react but determined to clear away any old cobwebs.

She glanced up reluctantly, absorbed in her third rewatch of Game Of Thrones latest episode. I guess the look on my face convinced her that this was important, and she clicked off the tv.

I took her hand and she sat on my knee, as if eager to avoid sitting beside me where she would have to watch my face.

It was obvious she was a girl who was always prepared for bad news and expected nothing less, so it really angered me that I had put myself in this position to have to apologise so soon in our relationship.

"You know I went to Alaska to see Tanya that day...the day I saw you in my class."

She nodded silently.

I could feel she was waiting for me to admit to some horrible crime.

Maybe it was.

"Tanya and I have been friends forever, and we played a drinking game. The next morning I woke up naked but alone. With no real memory of how the night before ended. Tanya assures me nothing happened, and I'm 99% sure she is being truthful, but maybe because she played out a bit of a joke about us having had sex that night, I cannot swear with absolute surity, that it didn't happen.

Infidelity is my deal breaker and I assume yours too, so you need to take this into consideration before we get in too deep. Can you forgive what may have happened?"

"This was before we got together? What's to forgive?" she asked, puzzled.

"We had spent that night and day together beforehand," I replied, equally puzzled.

"Edward, we hooked up. Say it. Out loud. We didn't get engaged, or become a couple, or make any promises. In fact, we knew we were never going to see one another again. Infidelity does not come into it. Sometimes I wonder how your mind works. Truly."

"Thank you. That is gracious of you to write it off that quickly. To be honest, if you'd gone off with Jacob Black for instance, I doubt I would feel the same."

She chuckled.

And shuddered.

"If I had to have gone off with someone else, could we make it an adult? Please?"

"Okay. Point taken. Anyway, I was there in Tanya's home for one week. At the end of that week she did a pregnancy test. It was positive. I had not seen her in the flesh for seven months and ten days. I worked it out. Therefore no matter what happened that night, I know this is not my baby. It would not have shown up that fast in a store bought test and anyway, I had no marks anywhere on my body that morning."

I felt a little bashful admitting that Tanya was a wildcat in bed and I had never survived a night with her unmarked.

That alone was proof enough for me.

"I am naturally willing to undergo whatever paternity tests you want..."

She picked up a pillow and bounced it off my skull.

"Edward, come on. We had been drinking that night in the bar. Did it erase any of your memories? No? I think you would remember having sex."

"I think I would too. And there were no signs. No evidence," I said cringingly. With no access to condoms, there would have been telltale marks on the sheets. There weren't any. Believe me, I checked. I held each sheet up in the daylight and zilch.

And my person was unsullied.

I trusted Tanya with my life. If anything had gone down, she would have told me, and we'd have managed to talk it through and accept it as a mistake. One we would never repeat.

"Were you sleeping with Tanya when you were with Heidi?" Bella asked. It was a fair enough question in the circumstances. She knew I would never cheat on a real girlfriend but Heidi was hardly ever that.

"No. I believe in clean breaks. Clear lines. I may not have loved her but I valued her as a person and anyway, I would be the one I let down if I cheated on anyone. I would have to live with myself and I'm a pretty unforgiving person."

"Noted," she replied, swiveling around to face me. "That's it? That's the only skeleton in your closet?"

"What were you expecting?" I asked, half jokingly.

"You have dated a lot more than I have. I guess I was waiting to hear there was some girl, somewhere, that you were attracted to and couldn't have. I mean, I already know you would never touch a married woman, so I did wonder if there was some girl who lives in your heart that you can't be with for some reason."

"That has only happened to me once, and that girl was you. The seventeen year old you. It tore me apart knowing there might not be any way we could ever be together.

It's like a dream, Bella, knowing the truth. Knowing there is nothing standing in our way. Okay, I don't really like the idea we have to hide our feelings from the world but I understand why. It's your job, so I promise to never do anything to jeopardize your career, but on the other hand, I fully intend being with you as often as possible. I need every minute I can have to convince you to stay after this whole drug bust or whatever goes down.

This is not a temporary situation from my point of view. This is a beginning of something real."

"I can see that. I hope it is too, but I need to be sure. You must be able to understand that. Would you give up your career to be with me, knowing as little as you about me?"

"Probably," I admitted.

xxxx

Bella had things to do in her role as Charlie's daughter, and High School student, so I headed to my parents house in hope Mom would take pity on me and feed me.

As I parked my car, Emmett appeared, somewhat dishevelled, wearing the same clothes I'd seen him in yesterday.

Rose and I both still have our bedrooms at our parents house and sometimes sleep there, something I never bothered to think about too deeply, but I was surprised she had allowed Emmett to stay over here rather than in her own house.

Maybe she thought it would keep some kind of distance between them.

I was surprised she was still fighting the inevitable.

She was as smitten with Emmett as I was with his 'sister' and she needed to learn it was time to give up the fight gracefully and just allow herself to admit the truth.

Maybe the future she had always planned was not going to happen.

But maybe that was because this new other future could be even better.

The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but it's not necessarily as sweet.

"Hey Edward," Em said, walking over, his hands in his pockets.

"Making progress, I see," I smirked.

"Maybe. With your sister it feels like I am fighting against the current," he sighed.

"Don't worry, Emmett. She will see sense in time. You are good for her and no matter what she says, all she wants is to be happy. I believe you could make her happy.

I even think she could make you happy as well."

"I'm into her bed, Edward, but I'm not completely convinced she has let me into her heart. Your sister enjoys sex but it doesn't mean she considers me husband material."

"Then you need to tell her how much better the sex will be after you two tie the knot."

He laughed.

"Seriously? I thought married men looked back at the sex they had when they were single and wondered why the heck they had ever exchanged that for the infrequent sex they got from their wives."

"A myth. Think about it."

He shrugged.

"Married sex would have to be the best sex in the world. Imagine a woman believing sex with you was so awesome that she was willing to give up the opportunity to have sex with any other man ever.

Imagine making love to the woman you know you will love all the rest of your life. It's mind blowing."

"I can see that," Emmett replied. "I couldn't before Rosie and I..."

He paused.

"It's okay Emmett. I pretty much saw where you two were headed before you did. I know she's different to your other conquests because I have never seen you look at another woman the way you look at my sister. And don't think for one minute I'd do that stupid bro's before ho's crap. To me, having one of your best friends marry your sister is the ideal way to gain a brother-in-law you know you will always get along with. If she married some stranger, let's face it, chances are he and I would never get along nearly as well as you and I do."

"I don't think she will marry me," Emmett replied sadly. "I'm not ticking all her boxes. I know that."

"Have faith. My sister may think she can put down on paper all the qualities she is looking for in a mate but she is in love with you and that's what makes the difference. She is infuriated with herself for allowing this to happen, but that's a good thing.

If she was accepting of it we would know you were just another Mr Right Now who she was using to pass the time with.

She'd crazy for you, Emm."

I could see it; Mom was secretly looking at Mother Of The Bride outfits, and Dad was setting up Rosalie's Trust Fund so she would have complete control over her own money and he could step back.

We were all preparing for the day she married Emmett.

She was too.

She just didn't want to admit it.

So much for women being the one's who want to rush into marriage.

Another myth, at least around here.

"Come on, let's go see if Esme feels like feeding a couple of battle weary soldiers," I said cheerfully.

The war was not over yet but we were winning some small battles along the way.

Victory would be ours.

One day.


	10. Chapter 10

Witsec

Chapter 10

BPOV

"Mr Cullen, I'm here for my tutoring lesson," I called as I entered Edward's house. Unlike the other students who were tutored after classes ended, in the school library, I had my own extra classes right here, and a key to the front door.

"Come into my study, please, Miss Swan," Edward replied.

Okay. So we are staying in character today? That was new.

"Shall I open my book and get down to it?" I asked, winking at Edward.

"Miss Swan. That sort of flirtatious behaviour cannot be tolerated," he growled, standing up, slapping his pointer against his outer thigh.

"It's so hot in here, I should remove some clothing," I stated, starting to unbutton the waistband of my skirt.

"No, leave it on," Edward whispered in my ear, moving to my side with the speed of light it seemed.

"Have you been a naughty girl?" he questioned, his voice rough with desire.

"Not yet, but I plan to be," I answered, bending over his desk and exposing my backside as he flipped my skirt up.

"No panties? That is very much against school policy. I'm afraid you have to be punished rather severely."

"For hours and hours, I hope," I grinned.

He nudged my legs apart with his knee and thrust himself inside me. I grabbed on to the edge of the desk and braced myself for a pounding.

He did not disappoint.

His long fingers grasped my hips and held me steady as he rocked inside me, deeper and deeper.

"Bella, my God, you are such a bad girl," he grunted as he pounded. "Day six, right?"

"Umm," I replied, forgetting how to speak.

Despite all our promises to stop taking chances, we were still being reckless. I could just go get a prescription but I hadn't. Part of me wanted to be the pregnant schoolgirl.

I knew I was doing this as a way of deciding my own Fate. If Edward knocked me up, I'd have to stay.

I might not marry him but I would never be able to walk away with his child and keep them apart. He wanted to impregnate me for much the same reason.

I knew he would never be ready for me to leave when the assignment was over.

He was getting in too deep to walk away, and I was letting him.

I felt him shudder and still, and I moved more slowly against him, letting him ride it out.

"Did that teach you a lesson?" he murmured in my ear as he bent to kiss my neck and then my cheek.

"Yes Mr Cullen. I will never forget to wear panties again," I promised.

"You are such a terrible liar. I know you will forget them again tomorrow," he suggested.

He withdrew and I stood up, stretching my arms above my head as I turned.

"Your turn," he said, pulling me into his arms and kissing my lips gently."Can we go up to the bedroom? I want to make love to you this time."

I laughed out loud. Who differentiated between fucking and making love? Edward, apparently.

I guessed that was because he had been in a 'making love' relationship with Tanya, and a 'fucking' relationship with Heidi. I got both.

"Okay, but I want to be naked," I informed him as he lifted me up and carried me towards the staircase.

"I love this house," I sighed as we headed across the walkway above the loungeroom that led to his bedroom.

"I'm glad," he replied. "Enjoy it while you can because one day we will need a child friendly house and this one will have to go."

I pouted.

"You can design the next house if that will make you happy," he stated, as he neared the bed. The covers were already neatly folded down.

I began undoing buttons and he pushed my hands away.

"My job, you just lay there."

I did.

It wasn't hard.

He pulled my skirt off and placed it on the bedroom chair, then removed my shoes and socks, before sitting me up to remove my blouse and bra.

"So, have you decided you like schoolgirls now?" I teased.

"If I have, it's all your fault," he scowled, removing his own clothing.

Normally I go home to Charlie's and get changed before arriving here but Edward had asked me not to bother with that today, so instead I had just left my panties in my car.

"Shower. Now."

Ooh, I like showers.

Especially with him.

However, he avoided all my attempts to touch him, and turned me to face the wall.

I put my palms against the tiles and braced myself, but all I felt was the wet warmth of the washer as he carefully soaped me up then rinsed me clean.

"Do I meet with your approval?" I asked as he dried my body and reached for the hairbrush. "Uh oh, is naughty Bella in for a spanking?" I asked.

Edward growled and started brushing my hair.

I glanced in the mirror and noticed that I was getting a slight hint of blonde roots down the part of my hair. Must get that fixed.

The girls at school had noticed long ago that I had my hair dyed but as most of them did too, nobody cared. Angela had asked me why a natural blonde would want to be a brunette and I'd explained my shade of blonde was not as pretty as some.

"Still," she had said, holding her own black locks in her hand, "I can't help thinking blonde would suit you better."

I admit I was tiring of the whole brown look.

The contacts were out the minute I got home to Charlie's and I'd almost been caught several times by other students who had dropped in unexpectedly, necessitating a rush to the bathroom.

I'm sure they think I have some stomach complaint.

"Beautiful," Edward sighed, burying his nose in my hair.

His hands moved lower and cradled my breasts and I let him indulge himself. My scent seemed to have a very interesting effect on his body, so I stepped away and went back through the door.

I scuttled over to the middle of his vast bed and stretched out, my legs and arms extended like a star.

"Bella, you have no idea what you do to me," he sighed.

I took a glance.

"I think I do."

He shook his head and crawled over so he was hovering above me. I closed my eyes and waited.

"Bella, I love you. So much."

I was so turned on the significance escaped me completely. He often stated that he loved me but he had never said the words like that before.

"Mmmmm."

I reached up to his waist to pull him down, and therefore inside me, and he resisted.

"First you have to say something nice to me," he said softly.

I opened my eyes and raised my eyebrows.

"Who is the girl here, Edward? I thought guys just liked getting down to business."

"Quit trying to distract me. Say something nice."

"Edward, you are without a doubt the best lover I have ever had."

"Thank you but I was hoping for something else. Something more."

He gazed into my eyes and reached out one hand to stroke my face.

"I know I said you don't have to say it until you are ready but when do you think that might be?"

"So impatient," I laughed. "Okay. Edward, I...quite like you. A lot."

"Fine," he sighed, laying down beside me. I closed my legs in surprise.

"What? Seriously? I have to say the dreaded L word or no sex?" I asked jokingly.

I got that he was all cool with love and even marriage but I had never said I loved anyone before, and I didn't know exactly how to go about it.

I hated my father so there was never going to be any time ever I would say it to him.

I had loved my Mom but we just did not speak like that in our family. We had not been all there for each other, offering support, the way his family did. We had been more a 'suck it up and deal' variety family.

Anyway, that kind of love was different.

"Shut your eyes," Edward ordered.

I did.

I breathed in deeply and waited.

His fingertips touched the back of my hand and he gently traced over my skin, along my arm, down my throat, onto my chest, avoiding breasts and nipples, then down my torso to my hips, where he drew tiny circles before moving on. He rested his hand on my mound and I felt him sit up to lean over me.

His lips attached to my nipple and he sucked and licked them slowly, gently, making me writhe against his hand.

As I started to part my legs, he growled.

"Leave them closed."

I obeyed and felt him slide a finger between my folds, stroking back as far as he could reach then forward again, almost but not quite touching where I wanted.

I growled.

Edward lifted his head and his lips left my body.

"What's wrong Bella? Is it frustrating having me refuse to do what you want?"

"Yesss," I hissed, rubbing my thighs together.

"But we shouldn't be doing these things if we aren't in love, should we?" he asked.

"We are in love. I just...have never said the words. It's alright for you. You've said them at least twice before. This is all new to me."

Edward froze.

"Bella, I have never told anyone I love them, not in this way. I don't throw words around easily. I would never tell a girl I loved her unless I really, truly was sure of that myself."

"But you had a real relationship with Tanya, at least," I argued.

"But I didn't love her. We were schoolkids. We crushed on one another but when it came to the crunch; when we grew up and finished college,that was when I expected to be in love with her, and I wasn't. I explained all this. That was why we broke up."

"Okay," I replied.

I admit my whole body tingled.

Edward had never said he loved anyone but me.

That was amazing.

But now it would sound like I was just saying it to make him happy.

So what? I decided.

"Edward, I love you. I think. No, I know. I do love you. I have never considered saying this to anyone else either."

"That's wonderful," he replied, kissing my face, his hands roaming my body again."Say it again."

"I love you."

He eased inside me.

"See, it wasn't that hard, was it?"

I bit my lip.

It didn't seem the right time to answer "Well heck Edward, it feels pretty hard to me."

xxxx

Something woke me in the early hours.

I should go home anyway, but first I needed to eat.

Sliding from his arms, I snuck out to the staircase and went down to the vast kitchen.

Inside his fridge was an array of covered dishes of food. He would not miss just one.

I selected a bowl of pasta with tomato sauce and meatballs and put it into the microwave.

Then as I waited, I thought about what had been said.

This was dangerous territory.

I had never intended falling in love with anyone who work would take me away from.

What was the point?

The facts are, there just isn't any kind of crimewave in Forks that would keep me employed once the drug dealer was caught.

Charlie was quite capable of handling anything routine and he had his staff to help him. There was nothing here for me, career wise.

Did I really want to settle down with a man who I could not live with 24/7?

Long distance romances never worked, so I heard. And it wasn't like I could even have a weekly schedule; go off to wherever Monday to Friday and be back for the weekends.

Undercover was 24/7.

For months on end.

Other option: quit.

And do what?

This was all I knew; all I was trained for.

Sure, more than half the cases were boring, and slow and nothing much came of them but the others, the ones that worked, they were why I loved my job.

I wanted the world to be a safer place and if I could help that happen in even a tiny way, then that made my job worthwhile.

The thought of being a stay at home wife scared me.

I was pretty sure that would be what Edward expected of me.

Get married (or not...I vote for not), have a kid, and he would want me to look after it.

My dinner was done so I got it out and plated it, then had second thoughts.

Was I even hungry?  
All this deep thinking and soul searching was messing with my appetite.

But it smelled awesome.

I took a small bite of a meatball and decided I could multitask. I could angst and eat at the same time.

xxxx

Charlie arrived home just in time and I cooked another piece of French toast. Emmett has said little this morning, but his appetite is as healthy as ever so I'm not worried.

He's distracted, but we all know why.

Rosalie is confusing him. By going hot and cold on him again.

"Women," he sighed, pushing his plate away. "They really love messing with our lives. I hope Mom raised you better than she behaved herself. By word, not example. I hope you won't grow up to treat your man like Rosie treats me."

That's when I knew for sure.

Emmett truly did believe I was Bella.

Charlie came and sat down and I served him his meal.

"Thanks, Bells. It smells delicious. Thanks for leaving me some, Son. I see your love life hasn't dimmed your appetite at all."

"I have to eat. I have to keep up my strength for when Rose calls me over."

I put my hands on my hips.

"Emmett, have you ever considered playing hard to get? Maybe if you weren't the one putting in all the effort, she would chase after you."

Maybe I should put in more effort with Edward and just let the cards fall where they will.

EPOV

Waking up alone sucked.

I knew it had to be this way but it still sucked.

My sheets smelt faintly of Bella and I lay there and thought about last night.

Her declaration had not been all I had hoped, but I was learning, with Bella, I would always have to tread softly.

Go slowly.

She had said it, and that was good. It would be easier the next time.

I was sure she loved me. She said it often enough in her sleep, but I'd wanted her to say it awake.

Maybe I shouldn't have pushed her. I tend to forget she has hibernated for years, using her job as a mask to keep away from real life and real emotions, and removing that mask cannot be easy for her.

But I have a finite period of time with her. That fact was always there.

I need coffee.

The machine is always on so I filled my mug and went to the fridge for milk and noticed the plate sitting inside. There are just a few long strands of pasta left on it. Shaped into a heart.

Inside, written in bright red sauce, were the words:

_Take care of my heart. I have left it with you._

xxxxx

"Mr Cullen, I still don't quite understand," Angela Webber said as she stood before me, pointing to a rather complex algebra problem, and explaining what she did to come up with the wrong answer. I automatically looked out of the classroom window, looking for Bella.

She is sitting at a picnic table.

Her long brown hair is caught up in a knot at the back of her head and she keeps fiddling with it. Finally, she pulls the pins from her hair and lets the tresses fall into her hand. Then she drops her hair down her back, and shakes it out.

I squirm under the cover of the pinewood desk and feel my face redden.

Student.

Teacher.

In school hours that is what we are, and now our little game has blurred the lines.

I clear my throat and return my attention to Angela.

This is a real class, and has real students who are depending on me getting them through two years work in one. Why we made the class is beside the point.

I shake my head clear of all thoughts and show Angela where she went wrong.

By the time she understands, the bell has gone and the other class members are at the door.

Bella included.

I make myself promise to insist she never wears that uniform to my house again. It's too dangerous. All I can see is her bent over my desk...

xxxxx

"Surprise!"

I am surprised.

Bella kicked the door closed and took my briefcase from my hand.

"Where were you? Not in Spanish Class with the others," I state.

"I had stuff to do here. Missing one class won't hurt."

"I like what you are wearing," I told her honestly.

She is naked.

Except for the blue graffiti.

She turned around slowly, so I can see her handiwork from all angles.

"Your spelling sucks. How on Earth did you ever get into the advanced class again?"

I trace the words on her thighs, her arms, her breasts. She has even written on her back, as far as she can reach.

_Bella luvs Edward. _

_Edward & Bella 4 Eva._

_Edward and Bella, sitting in a tree,_

_KISSING_

Hearts cover her arms and legs.

"Get the message?" she asks.

I kiss her between two beautifully drawn lip shapes and taste the 'paint'.

"What is that? It's so sweet."

"Frosting. The type that comes in a tube to write on cakes."

"Delicious. But messy. Careful you don't attract insects."

"I was kind of hoping you would want to lick it off me," she pouted.

I slapped her backside and chased her up the staircase.

xxxx

At my bedroom doorway, Bella steps aside and I look at what she has done.

The light beside the bed was dimmed by being covered in a pale pink silk scarf.

Candles were grouped on the table, the windowsill, the floor.

The bed was covered in pink rose petals.

I grabbed her hand.

"This is romantic, right?" she says hopefully. "I know I got it wrong the other night. I should have answered you when you said it to me and not have made you beg. I do love you, Edward, and I know we don't know how long we will feel this way but we can enjoy it anyway."

"We can," I agreed, flipping her hair back over her shoulder to access the heart shapes drawn on her left nipple.

I licked the frosting away and let her remove my clothing.

"We don't have a lot of time, I'm afraid."

"Why not?" she asked, tossing my clothes into the corner.

"Carlisle told Esme the truth. She was getting stressed, thinking I was spending time with Heidi again. She wanted to go to her place and drag me home, so Dad told her it wasn't Heidi who was taking up my time and attention.

He's explained enough. Alice and Jasper had already worked it out anyway. There's no such thing as a secret in my family."

"And that means we can't spend tonight together?" she quizzed.

"No, but my Mom wants to meet you properly. She's invited you to dinner. Probably to assess your suitability to be my wife."

"Whatever," she shrugged, pushing me away and heading for the shower.

"Hey, I thought I was allowed to lick you clean?" I called after her.

"Edward, I'm going to formally meet your parents. Behave yourself. I have to shower, and wash my hair, and shave my legs. And go back to Charlie's and find something to wear..."

"Alice sent a dress over. She designs women's clothing for a living. She says you will love it."

"Did she send underthings? Panties?"

"I hope not. Those things are banned," I murmured quietly.

I turned off the bedside lamp and hoped this setting would not go to waste. I sat on the bed and mused about what I had missed out on by speaking too soon. It could have waited. I should have told her after the fun and games. I'd just thrown away a chance to make love to my Bella.

"We can do this later, right?" Bella asked, coming back into the room as she dried her hair with a bath towel.

"Definitely," I replied. "Or even now. You look stressed. Sex can be a great stress reliever."

Bella scowled.

I backed off gingerly.

It seemed there was a time and a place for everything but now was no longer the time.

xxxx

Alice was right, Bella looked amazing in the royal blue frock. It made her blue eyes sparkle.

"No lenses," I requested.

"No point, if they know," she replied.

She was as nervous as a kitten when we arrived but the moment Esme opened the door and swept Bella inside, I knew everything would be fine.

"Where's Rose?"

My parents would be a pushover but my sister, not so much.

"Upstairs sulking because Emmett isn't invited. For obvious reasons."

That was going to be tricky. Rose was not known for her discretion and while it wasn't her secret to tell, it wasn't her secret to keep either.

I wanted her onside. It would be easier by far if she liked my girl, and if she didn't, then things could get tricky.

During the meal I learned a lot of things I hadn't known about Bella as my Mom openly questioned her about every aspect of her life.

"How long ago did your mother die? I'm so sorry we won't get to meet her."

"When I was nineteen. It was tough but I was grateful she stayed around until I left home. It would have been much worse if I'd been younger and had to go into foster care."

"And you never speak to your father? Have you considered how you would feel if you left it too late to reconcile with him?"

"I have thought about that. Unfortunately I think it would be better for both of us just to let it go. There's nothing he could do or say to make anything any better and I honestly feel I'm better off without him in my life."

Her father wasn't dead.

Alice and Jasper arrived just as Mom started serving the meal and Rose grudgingly came downstairs to join us.

"Rose, you have met Bella."

My sister turned and glared at my girl.

"You should tell Emmett. It's not fair. He thinks he has his sister back and he thinks you are going to be in his life forever. How do you think it will be for him when you leave?"

Bella didn't flinch.

"I was not aware what Emmett knew until recently. Obviously now that other people know, I will have to explain to him. I don't want him hurt, either. This whole assignment has been very complicated. Normally nobody outside the immediate family knows anything, but with the situation with Edward, I had to tell him. And he felt he had to tell Carlisle."

She shrugged. "It's a small town. If word gets out, then there is no reason for Marcus to leave me here. I'll get sent home again immediately."

"No," I said involuntarily. "That can't happen. There's no way we are ready for that to happen yet. Rose won't tell anyone, will you?"

Rose sneered.

"As long as she tells Emmett then my lips are sealed. But you need to tell him now. I've called him. He's on his way over for after dinner drinks."

Bella was clearly thrown and I'm sure she barely knew what she was eating. I could see the panic in her eyes, and her heart was beating faster than usual. It wasn't in her nature to hurt anyone and I feared she was starting to wish she had never been sent here.

Alice kept up a constant stream of chatter but I blocked it out and concentrated on how my girl was coping.

When we heard Emmett's jeep pull up, I stood and took Bella's hand.

"We will tell him together."

She smiled nervously and gripped my hand tightly.

Esme answered the door and Emmett strode inside.

As always, his eyes sought Rose first, then he shook Carlisle's hand, then Jasper's and then mine.

" Hello Esme. Alice. Bella."

"Bella has something to tell you. She isn't your sister," Rose blurted out.

"How could she be? My sister can never come home here. Charlie and I both know that."

Bella blinked.

"Why not?" Rose asked.

"Ten years ago Renee and Isabella were on holiday and naturally Mom could not stick to the beaten track like the other tourists. She had to see the real country, and she drifted into some very dangerous territory. She witnessed something going down that she shouldn't have.

The FBI or whoever did whatever they had to, to keep things quiet. To keep Renee alive.

They wanted to send my sister back to us, seeing she was only seven and had been in some childcare place at the hotel at the time, but Renee refused to co-operate if they didn't let her keep her kid with her.

They were put into Witsec; given new identities and sent to live overseas. I doubt that Isabella even remembers she was ever Isabella Marie Swan.

She has been somebody else for most of her life. Renee probably convinced her whatever her name is now, is her real name and they were playing some sort of game when they were pretending to be Renee and Isabella Swan.

Or told her that was in a past life or something.

Kids sometimes remember past lives.

Then they grow up and accept this is who they are this time around. She is all Renee has and she must know it would endanger her Mom if she asked questions.

Anyway, the one thing neither would ever do is walk on American soil ever again."

"So you knew? All along? Why didn't you say anything?" Bella asked.

"I liked having my sister back. This is the only way it will ever happen, and look how happy having you here has made Charlie.

He will never forget Isabella but he knows it would be too dangerous to ever try and find her, and he had resigned himself to living the rest of his days without a daughter. Then along came Bella.

At first he resented the fact you were here and she wasn't, but as he has gotten to know you, you know he's really glad you came into his life. You will never be Isabella but you are almost like a daughter he never knew he had until six months ago. He's happy to have you around. It's like a second chance."

"But you have never acted like I was an imposter," Bella stated.

"I thought that was how the game was played. Shut up and pretend. So I did."

"Thank you, Emmett."

"No thanks needed."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"Do I smell roast beef?"

Esme laughed.

"You should have invited him for dinner, Rosalie. How rude of you. Come and sit down, and help yourself, Emmett. There's plenty left. Your sister eats like a bird."

Emmett did as he was invited, and laughed.

"Bella? Never stand between her and dessert. If she eats like a bird you must be thinking of a buzzard."

"Like you can talk," Bella argued. "I'm not the one who ate two entire roast chickens his sister had put in the fridge for cold cuts."

"Was there a Post It on them saying they were reserved?" he shot back. "I don't think so."

"They are definitely sister and brother on some planet," Carlisle said with a grin.

xxxx

"How much did you know?" I asked Bella later, when we were on the way back home to my place. "If it's dangerous for the real Isabella to come back, then it must be dangerous for you to be her."

"Edward, you do understand what my job is, right? It's always dangerous to some degree. My last assignment... Never mind."

She rubbed her wrist and I lifted it to my lips and kissed the long silver jagged scar there. Knife slash? Bullet graze? Best I didn't know or I'd have nightmares about it.

"Marcus filled me in. It seemed like an acceptable risk. This is Forks. How many girls have left town, leaving their family here, for me to impersonate? Only the one. Anyway I doubt that anyone knows Isabella exists. It's Renee they would be looking for. They wouldn't even know she had a child staying at the hotel with her.

In reality, so much time has passed it's possibly safe for them both to come back but it's understandable that Renee won't risk it. It's her life. All I know is, she married some man who is native to the country she is in and she has other children. Isabella has a swag of sisters and brothers. Renee probably told her that her biological father is dead. I would, in the circumstances."

"So she is never coming back."

"That is the most likely outcome."

"Then you could stay, and be her. Forever."

"I could. I could be Bella Swan."

"One day you could even be Bella Swan Cullen," Edward said with a smile.

"Who knows? Life is full of surprises."

"Speaking of surprises, was there any of that frosting leftover? I only got to lick it off one nipple. We wouldn't want the other one to get jealous."

xxxx


	11. Chapter 11

Witsec

Chapter 11

BPOV

" Happy Birthday, Bells!" Charlie said as I walked downstairs to prepare breakfast.

To my surprise he opened his arms and pulled me inside them, kissing my cheek as naturally as if I was his daughter.

He suddenly realised and for a moment, he froze and I'm sure he felt as awkward as I did, then he relaxed and kissed my cheek again, patting my back as we parted.

"It's real good to have you here today."

I smiled.

I may not be the Real Thing but was her substitute.

"I've made breakfast..well I helped Emmett make it. Open your gift," he urged me as I sat down.

"Charlie, you didn't have to buy me anything," I protested. It wasn't as if it was my real birthday anyway. His face dropped a little so I grabbed the gift greedily.

"But then, I do love presents. Let's see what I scored."

I ripped the paper off and examined the camera inside. It was a modestly priced model but a good brand. The sort of gift his daughter would have received, had she been here.

"You refused to come hunting with us, so I figured a gun was not going to make a good gift.."

"Not shooting Bambi," I agreed.

"But you could take a photo of him, and maybe you might want some photos of the people you have met here, you know, to look back on, when you move on."

I swear I saw the gleam of a tear in his eye, but he hurriedly turned and started carrying dishes across to the table.

Emmett emerged from his room, his hair still damp from the shower.

"Happy birthday, Sis. It's a scrapbook, to stick your photos in."

"Thanks Emmett," I replied, flicking through the blank pages.

"Should have room from your Graduation photos even," he suggested.

"And speaking of graduation," Charlie said, standing proudly by my side. "Apparently your sister is actually the top of the Advanced Placement Class and will definitely graduate at the end of this school year."

"You should thank Dad for your brains, I don't think Mom had any to spare," Emmett joked.

It was the weirdest conversation ever in reality but it was playing out like the real thing.

The unrelated- to- anyone- here brother was crediting his non- father for passing on his intelligence to a girl who was just as non- related to either of them.

But we felt like family.

They felt more like my family than my own parents had felt. And I had always wanted a brother.

Maybe any siblings would have sufficed but for some reason, right from when I was small, I wished I had an older brother and thinking back, when I imagined him, he was just like Emmett.

So in a way, that wish had been granted.

For a while, anyway.

"How do I set it to take a photo automatically?" I asked, and both men reached to take the camera from me.

"On mine, you press that and set it there.."

"No, I have this exact camera, you just..."

Finally, it was set and the three of us stood together, me in the middle, arms around my waist from both sides and they both kissed my cheeks as the camera flashed.

"Could you grow a bit taller? Bending down is killing my back," Emmett complained.

"You could have stopped growing at a normal height," I suggested, laughing and Charlie stepped forward just as the timer buzzed again and another flash appeared.

"Oh it takes multiple shots," Emmett said gleefully, immediately playing the clown and lifting me off my feet for the next shot.

"Get the cake, Dad. Get it into a photo. It took me hours to decorate the darn thing."

Charlie got the birthday cake and we held it up as the camera did it's job.

I couldn't remember a birthday this joyous before.

As a child, I guess I had liked parties and presents but once I knew about my father, any gift he bestowed on me felt like a bribe. Like he only bought them so I would like him. He spent too much; more than Mom could ever afford but he had no idea what I liked, so the expense was all for nought.

A leather netball some girls might envy had sat unused under my bed until I gave it to a charity shop when I left home; I'd never played netball. Clothes that were nowhere near my size or taste had been handed on. Many pieces of garish jewellery had been left lying in a drawer; to this day I had no recollection what I ended up doing with them.

All I had ever wanted was a happy home with parents who loved and respected one another, but that had seemed as big a myth as the unicorn, until I met Edward's parents.

I guess if anything could sway my stance on marriage, it was being around those two. Seeing how they acted and reacted to one another.

Hearing the love and caring in their voices when they spoke.

No wonder Edward had the ridiculous idea that marriage was something you could be in forever.

"So, can we all meet at the diner after my shift for a celebratory meal, like we used to when Bella was little?" Emmett suggested.

"Great idea," Charlie agreed, turning to see if I agreed.

For a single moment, he really did think I was Bella. I saw it. I saw the realisation dawn in his eyes and he blushed.

"If you don't have other plans..."

"That would be cool," I answered, touching his arm. "I would love that, Charlie. Birthdays should be something you have in your memory forever."

He smiled and cleared his throat.

"Seven o'clock and don't be late, Emmett. Make sure you vacate Rosalie's, uh, place, in time."

"Can I invite Rose?" Emmett asked, unsure.

I glanced at Charlie, who shrugged.

"Why not? She is starting to feel like family. Maybe you could suggest Edward comes along as well."

Charlie smirked at me behind Emm's back.

"Bella won't want her teacher at her birthday celebration," Emmett smirked behind Charlie's back, in turn, looking at me.

"It's fine, Emmett. Edward's your friend and Rose's brother. I'm cool with it."

"I just bet you are, you naughty schoolgirl," he whispered, laughing.

"Emmett, behave," Charlie warned.

"So, dinner for five at seven. I shall go invite Rosie personally," my brother announced.

"We expected that," Charlie said drily, pulling on his jacket and gun holster.

They walked out together, leaving me in peace.

I ate my rather cold breakfast and read the local newspaper. It was still strange being in a town where a new baby born to a resident could make front page news.

Better than the big city editions full of news of rapes and murders and robberies.

In the back pages I found a photo taken at Forks High of a group of us sitting in the side yard in the unexpected sun.

You could see bare legs, even. Not a common sight in Forks.

The credit went to Angela Webber, who had submitted the photo as an entry to the Photography Competition the newspaper was running.

I frowned at the way Jessica Stanley was looking at me. Her expression revealed she was not feeling any affection for me whatsoever.

I had never done anything to upset her, and I had stayed well away from Mike Newton, happily, in class and out, so I wondered what her problem was.

Then I realised I knew when that photo had been taken.

Edward had been standing beside Angela and we had been smiling at one another for one unguarded moment before we both realised and looked away.

Clearly Jessica had noticed.

We were usually so careful.

At school, Edward became Mr Cullen and I had never gotten his name wrong. I'd made a point of only speaking to him about class work and he only spoke to me the same way.

All our personal stuff waited until he arrived here to tutor me, or I went to his house, and he would usher my truck into one of his garages out of sight. Not that anyone ever went down his road anyway. It only led to his property, and was deadended, so only tourists who had lost their way ever drove by.

Some nights he came here instead, cutting through the forest on foot rather than risk his car being noticed parked somewhere close by. Charlie's garage only had room for two cars, his and Emmett's.

All that care and subterfuge and we'd grinned at one another in front of half the students at school. No doubt Jess knew the look we had exchanged well enough to know what it meant. She hadn't said anything, to me, but then, we didn't speak that often.

My abdomen cramped and I looked at the date block.

Yep.

Call me the human calendar.

I slipped upstairs and headed for the bathroom.

For nine months now Edward and I had been having sex without contraception and I was not pregnant. Although in theory that was a good thing, I was starting to worry. How many pregnant schoolgirls claimed they had only done 'it' once ?

xxxx

Edward looked hellishly annoyed all evening as he sat in the group, having to keep up the role of my teacher.

He'd handed me a polite little gift as we had met up, walking through the door to the diner, and I'd opened it in front of everyone. The evil part of me hoped it was something that would make him blush and stammer out some stupid implausible excuse for buying for his student but the man was not stupid.

"Oh, a dictionary," I said in surprise. "That will come in handy. I mean, it's not like anyone can use Spellcheck or look up words online."

"Hey Bells, you know what they say," Emmett contributed. "You read the dictionary then you have read every book ever written."

"How?" Rose asked.

"Because every word ever written is in the dictionary so you read it, then you have read every word that is used in every other book ever," my brother explained.

"But not in the right order," Rose pointed out crossly. She was like a bear with a sore head lately. I was starting to wonder if she and Emmett were ever going to last the distance.

I know he lived in fear that one day he would wake up and be told she had left town. Gone off chasing her 'ideal life' without him.

Rosalie handed me a small parcel and a card.

I was shocked to see the apology written inside. It seemed she wasn't always the bitch she appeared to be.

"It's okay, Rose. No harm, no foul. Emmett already knew the truth."

"But it could have been horrible," she said with a shudder. "I'm so sorry. I'm just so stressed out, about the future. What to do. Which road to take."

"I know how you feel. It's constantly on my mind too," I said sympathetically.

"Would you come to the bathroom with me?" she asked.

I excused us and followed her.

"What's up?" I asked as she sat down on the plastic chair provided in front of the mirror.

"I'm pregnant."

"Wow. Congratulations," I replied, half envious.

"Seriously?" she answered. "How can you think this is a good thing?"

"I kind of wish it would happen to me and take the whole having to decide part away."

"Bella, this just makes that all the harder. Now if I go, then it means I have to.."

"No," I replied. "Don't even think about doing that. Not to Emmett. If he can't have you then at least let him have his baby. I'm sure he and Charlie would raise it together if you left. Please, Rose. It would kill him if you didn't have it and he found out."

"And you are useless at keeping secrets," she stated.

"About as bad as you are," I retorted.

She had the grace to look chagrined.

"What am I going to do?" she cried.

"Don't ask me," I growled. "It seems to me everyone who doesn't want a baby has no problem conceiving them, yet Edward and I are not so blessed. Anyway, what do you really want in life, Rose? For most sane and normal people, having someone who loves you unconditionally and will always be there for you would be enough. More than enough. And a baby is a bonus. It's real, Rose. It's something you need to think about very carefully because if you throw all this away, and run off chasing rainbows, it won't be here waiting when you wake up and smell the coffee and come back home. Emmett would never forgive you for sacrificing his child so you could go find yourself. Have you ever considered maybe you have already done that? Look in the mirror. This is who you are. Rosalie, the woman Emmett would die for.

Why can't that be enough? There are a lot of women who envy you. What he is offering is of real value, and not many men want to settle down and be with just the one woman the rest of his life."

"Like Edward, you mean?" she replied.

xxxx

Edward was waiting in the hallway when we walked out.

He took my arm and checked nobody but Rose could see us, before kissing my cheek.

"Were you two ladies in there all that time because someone feels a little nauseous? Like, with morning sickness maybe?" he asked hopefully.

"Sorry, just the opposite," I said sadly. "It's that time of the month. What if I can't give you what you want, Edward? Maybe I can't have kids. Maybe all that's on offer is me alone."

"Then that's all I want," he replied. "A full and beautiful life together."

xxxx

Sitting exams was old hat for me now but all the same, I felt intrigued about what score I would get for Spanish, seeing I had not been able to speak a single word of it before my tutoring lessons.

Naturally my academic achievements were not real and would not affect the real students scores; I would 'freak out' under pressure , or appear to, on the day and that would explain why I didn't graduate in the top ten placements.

Just one of those students who is clever in class and hopeless at exams.

My marks would not even be recorded.

An 'oversight' by the office staff that nobody would ever notice or question.

The other students would only care about their own scores.

Angela would feel sorry for me but I was already preparing my reply to her, assuring her I never wanted to attend college anyway.

She and Samantha were fast friends and would take care of one another at SeattleU next year and soon they would forget all about me.

I'd be long gone from Forks by the time they finished college.

People may remember me but none of them would know where I really was. I guess Charlie will have a cover story for why his daughter left town again. Maybe I had gone back to live with Renee, Mom, again.

I was worried about Charlie and how he would cope when I left.

Despite everything, we had become like father and daughter, and I knew he was not looking forward to my eventual absence.

Marcus would not leave me here indefinitely. Once I graduated there would be no do-over. Mr Smarty Pants Cullen should have thought it through when he created our advanced class. I knew he did it just to force me out of High School, but once I was no longer a student, I was no longer on this case.

It was not that big or important, compared to other more pressing crimes. At some point I'd disappear and take up my next challenge.

Or I could quit and stick around.

Start a new career. Even have myself attached to Forks Police even though it would be a major step down career wise.

And hard to explain.

But possible.

People may accuse Charlie of some form of nepotism, but I'm sure that would be a small price to pay in his eyes.

Anyway, I had a few short weeks and I would graduate. One way or the other, it would be over. With or without a perp in handcuffs.

xxxx

In the end, it all happened so fast.

One minute I'm standing beside my truck, cursing the approaching exams and whining to Jessica that Spanish is still a language I am battling to conquer, and there he was. Mrs Goff's son, Cas, who was employed as a general caretaker, offering to supply me with some 'helpers' so I could study non stop all night in the final weeks leading up to our final test week.

I had vaguely been aware that he existed but he was always just there, always in the background. Nobody's friend, nobody's teacher. None of the students ever acknowledged his existence during school hours, but it seemed he got all their attention when necessary.

Jessica smirked.

"Get the yellow ones, Bella. I swear they are the bomb. Mike and I actually do use them for studying but they have the added bonus of keeping us both awake the rest of the night, so we have to find ways to occupy ourselves...you should get yourself a fuckbuddy and see what I mean. Unless of course you have one already..."

She glared at me, and for a moment it was awkward.

I had no proof that she knew anything, but she obviously thought she did.

"How about you, Jess? Need more yet?" Cas checked, handing me a free sample.

"I'll test drive this tonight," I stated, slipping it into my coin purse.

"Tyler said your prices have gone up," Jessica growled. "Is that true?"

He shrugged.

"A man has to make a living, and cleaning up the schoolyard after you piglets is no easy way to do that. You don't like my prices you can always buy them elsewhere."

"So easy for you to say that," Jess snarled. "You know the next dealer is in Port Angeles. You have the whole local crowd in the palm of your greedy little hand. I bet we paid for that new Harley."

"Did I remember to thank you for that? Just you and Mike paid for most of it," he joked.

She peeled off a few notes and handed them over and he gave her two plastic baggies. Jess held them up and checked the count, then smiled.

"Let the party begin. Buy some now, Bella. Honestly, he sells out really fast and if Eric and his friends find out he has new supplies, they'll clean him out."

I nodded.

I had to make a deal to prove he was a dealer, so I started counting bills into his outstretched hand and he grinned.

"Now you start off slow, just the one pill tonight, see how you handle it before tossing them down like candy like this one here does. We don't need anyone overdosing, do we Jessica? By the way, you get caught with these and you remember you found them in the Ladies bathroom, hear me?"

He sounded quite menacing.

I agreed readily.

"If Bella gets caught her own father gets to lock her ass up," Jess laughed.

The guy blanched.

"You Charlie's kid? Fuck, Jessica, why didn't you warn me?"

"Bella's cool. She won't rat you out, right, Bella? Just wait, she will be your best customer before you know it. I'd love to see Eddie high as a kite," she giggled.

xxxx

Marcus assured me Riley would be there directly and I went back to the office to get the cctv cd ready for him.

Bob Banner looked relieved that the dealer had been caught on tape and we watched the recording to make sure it was clear and unobstructed as Cas took my cash and handed me the baggie. Jess had unintentionally helped even more, as she held her own purchases up and the pills were clearly identifiable.

The conversation was as good as it got; clear and incriminating and we were done.

It was all over but the shouting.

Charlie would make the arrest and Riley would testify, and expect me to leave Forks with him once the ends were tied up.

It was decision time.

Either I took my own advice and settled down with the man who was offering me a lifetime of love and devotion, with or without a child, or I left and continued my career.

It's a lie what they tell you.

You cannot have it all.

Sometimes you have to chose what is good for you; what it is you want the most, from between two good things.


	12. Chapter 12

Witsec

Epilogue

Chapter 12

EPOV

"You okay, Em?" I checked again.

The man looked beyond pale.

I was a little nervous because if Emmett fainted, I was not a hundred percent sure I'd be able to catch him without us both crashing to the ground.

Jasper pulled his flask from his suitcoat pocket and handed it over.

"Come on, Emmett. It's going to be fine."

"But what if I stuff it up? Do something wrong and spoil Rosie's wedding day?" he panicked.

"Emmett, today is all about the bride. You, the groom, are just an accessory to hang off her arm. You have memorized your speech and that's it. That's all you have to do."

He stuck his finger down between his collar and his neck and coughed.

"Damn things choking me. I don't know why we couldn't wait a couple more weeks so the baby could be flowergirl."

I laughed.

"I can't wait to see you holding that tiny little baby girl," I admitted. "I bet she has you wound around her little finger by the time she is a week old."

"You would win that bet," he agreed. "So, do you and Bella plan to have kids one day?"

I exhaled loudly.

"Emmett, if I can convince Bella to marry me, then I think my share of good fortune will have been used up. Whether or not we have kids doesn't matter anyway. Just being able to call her Mrs Bella Cullen will be enough."

"Maybe she wants a few years of being Bella Swan. She actually changed her name by deed poll. How awesome is that?" Emmett chortled.

"Maybe she didn't like her real name," Jasper said with a grin. "Who names their poor baby Renesmee?"

"A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet," I informed them both.

"But tell me you never call her that," Emmett pleaded. "Not even when you two are..."

" Buck up, here comes the bride," Jasper warned.

I looked back and watched my sister walk slowly towards us, as Carlisle held her arm.

"Where's Bella?" I hissed. She was the bridesmaid.

Alice was there, in her Matron of Honor outfit, tossing petals in front of Rosalie, but in rehearsal Bella had preceded the bride down the aisle.

"Be quiet," Alice hissed as Jasper took my arm and forced me to walk so I was standing on the opposite of the aisle to Emmett.

"What's going on?" I asked crossly.

"Double wedding. Last minute decision. You are the Best Man but also the groom."

My heart skipped a beat.

Sure enough, Charlie Swan emerged, hastily shoved into one of my father's suits, with my Bella on his arm.

She looked amazing and I was grateful that Alice had given Bella the dress for her last birthday, even though my girl had just about thrown it back at her at the time.

So, she had kept it after all.

"Wow, she looks amazing," Jasper whispered. "So much prettier as a blonde. And those blue eyes..."

"I hope they have babies that look just like her," Alice whispered to Jas.

I grinned and stepped to accept my surprise bride's hand from her father.

"Edward, congratulations. Bella decided if she could just join in to this wedding, then she would marry you after all."

"Thank you," I whispered, taking her hand into mine and kissing her fingers.

"Dearly Beloved," Angela's father boomed. "We are here today to join in matrimony Emmett Charles Swan and Rosalie Lillian Cullen, and Edward Anthony Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan."

And Bella looked up at me and smiled, and my world was complete.

xxxx

"Do you think Bella is showing?" Jessica snidely asked Angela as they sat with their plus ones in the pew. "She's usually concave and she just looks...less so."

"She's not pregnant, Jess," Angela replied.

"Why else would they get married straight after Graduation?" Jess argued. "And how come Mr Cullen gets to marry a student anyway? Isn't that what that other teacher went down for? Because he was sleeping with Charlotte Whatsit?"

"Someone said Edward and Bella got a special dispensation," Eric piped up.

"Like, from the Pope?" Jessica questioned.

"There's some reason it's all okay," Angela assured them. "Something only those that need to know are conversant with. Anyway, it's their business."

"I heard Bella is actually like, twenty five or something," Mike added wistfully.

"What? Are you pissed because you never got to sleep with a cougar?" Jess growled.

"Well, I mean, twenty five. She must have been around. Have a lot of experience," Mike sulked.

"You do need lessons," Jess snarled spitefully. "Maybe I should have handed you over to her for a while. For training purposes."

xxxx

"So, my beautiful bride, I owe you one now. I did not see this coming," I admitted as I twirled her around the dancefloor.

"Surprise," Bella replied with a grin. "I got you."

"You always had me," I informed her, kissing her forehead. "What changed your mind? You were so very sure you would never get married from when we first met then all the hoopla you had to arrange for Rose and Emmett to get married today...I thought it convinced you that you had made the right decision."

"Edward, I suddenly realised I had to give you the one thing you really wanted, because it seemed unfair to refuse, and today seemed like the perfect chance to do that without all the wedding planning crap that I would never have survived a second time. Even with Alice and Esme doing most of it, it still drove me nuts."

"So it was now or never?" I asked.

"Pretty much. You did say you did not care where or when, you just wanted to marry me. Remember."

"How could I forget. I meant every word. This is perfect."

"Bella, come cut the cake. Rose wants to get the formalities over and done with so she can go lay down," Alice urged.

"Sounds like a great idea," I agreed.

"What? Cutting the cake or laying down?" Bella asked.

"You choose," I replied, leading her towards the wedding table.

Esme had balanced a second set of bride and groom figures on top of the cake and Emmett was moaning about having to share.

"Someone could have sent out for a second cake," he grumbled. "All these guests are going to expect two slices each, one from us and one from Edward and Bella."

"And there won't be any leftovers for you to stuff down your throat later?" Bella asked. "Don't worry. I was so nervous today I spent six hours in the kitchen. There are a dozen extra desserts and three other cakes, Emmett. I dare you to eat all of them and survive."

"Please don't dare him," Rose growled. "I have other activities in mind for tonight."

"I can multitask," Emmett reassured her.

xxxx

"So, she made the right decision," Riley said to Marcus.

"Yep. This is actually the perfect solution. Once James Hunter turned up again, I pretty much knew if she ever came back to work, he would find her and succeed in killing her this time. Her career was over."

"Does she know?"

"Nope. She contacted me to resign so I didn't tell her. I will. I'll explain to Edward that James almost managed to end Bella's life during her last assignment, and it will always be too dangerous for her to ever return to New York. But from what I've heard from his parents, they plan to live here anyway. Neither of them long to live in the city. I can't say I blame them. It's so tranquil here."

"And green," Riley added.

xxxx

"Why would Bella do this?" Alice moaned. "Nobody brought them a single wedding present seeing none of the guests knew this was a double wedding. That's just crazy."

"I have something for them," Carlisle replied. "Something Edward is going to treasure a lot more than a toaster."

"What is it?" Esme asked.

Carlisle pulled out an envelope from his pocket.

"As you all know, Bella was having some tests done to find out if there was any reason she had not conceived, despite many months of unprotected love making."

"Is she okay?" Esme asked worriedly.

"The only thing wrong with Bella will take about eight more months to 'cure'," he grinned.

"She's pregnant?" Alice said in awe, clapping her hands.

"Just barely. But as they say, there's no such thing as just a little bit pregnant."

"Edward will be over the moon," Esme said with a smile. "For all his protestations that just having Bella in his life is enough, we all know how much he wants a baby as well."

"And now he has everything he ever wanted," Carlisle agreed.

They watched several of the guests walk over to Bella and pin money onto her gown before kissing her and congratulating Edward.

Carlisle looked at his wife.

"Got a pin?"

She smiled, and they walked towards the couple, and pinned the test results onto the brides dress.

xxxx

The End


End file.
